The Silent Storm That Will Change You.

I was crossing the winter-clothes aisle in the H&M Store when my gaze fell on my reflection on the mirrored wall opposite me. At once, I stopped. Looking at my reflection so suddenly had startled me.

Why?

At first, I couldn’t tell that.

I just knew that something wasn’t right; something was off about my reflection.

Standing two feet away from the mirror, I peered at the light-washed reflection that stared back at me. It was clothed in my favorite jet-black overcoat, a pair of faded blue denim below it, the white superstars on its feet. In one hand it was holding a gray shopping bag and a mobile in the other.

I moved my eyes up and stared at its face.

It was the same face alright —the same long black hair, the same deep-set eyes; the pointed nose was the same, and the same was the V of its face. Even the body hadn’t changed much from the days of my youth. The shoulders stood square over my thin body the way they had always stood.

On its face, the reflection looked the way it should — the way I thought it ought to appear.

Yet, there was something different in the way this reflection of mine stood in front of me, something about it that made me doubt if it was mine.

After a few moments, I realized it was the gaze that made the reflection appear as a stranger to me.

The gaze that was once sharp and alert now seemed distant and hazy. Instead of penetrating the things around it now fell softly over them. The blazing red fire that once burnt in it was gone, replaced by faded ambers that glowed orange and soft. Instead of sending out light like a lighthouse, it became a portal for receiving it. It now seems to listen more than speak. It had lost its vigor, its hunger, its drive.

And then, I realized it, realized the change that had happened to me. But it’s not a physical change; that change will come eventually. The change that I had noticed was not in the reflection or the gaze but a change that was within me.

The change that I was witnessing through my gaze was the internal change.

Such change you don’t realize as it happens within you. There are no gray hairs to indicate it's working, no wrinkles to show it's happening. This change is not defined by the number of summers and winters you have lived. This change that I had seen was timeless, ageless.

The realization of this change can occur in the life of someone as early as in their teenaged- youth; and for some, it may not come until when they are on their deathbed.

Such a change does not come from the days you have lived on this earth but something you have experienced in your life. Something huge and powerful, like a torrential flood, or storm, that comes and uproots everything about your life as it had always been.

The peculiar thing about such a storm is that when it happens you don’t feel this storm. For this storm is not outside you but within you. You are the eye of the storm destroying everything around you. You don’t feel it as everything is being shattered, everything is being changed.

Only when it subsides and the dust settles down and the high of the speed vanishes, it is then that you notice the change, the destruction, the havoc! You open your eyes and see the change.

Everything gone.

Everything that you had held dear is now only a memory.

But it doesn’t matter anymore; for you are changed; your perspective has changed and the boy you were once is now changed into a man that you always will be. For now, you have learned that you are no different than those men they showed on TV, looking at those you had wondered, how unfortunate!

You are no different; you are just the same, but that is life.

Anyone who says that they have lived a fortunate life without any loss hasn’t lived his life yet. Or they are blind to see it. For life will come and break you for only when you are broken then you are born.

And this time you have a choice, to go on living the life that you were given or start a new life of your own. To keep on harping out the little things in life or focus on the bigger picture. To keep cursing the life or to live it.

“Excuse me!” a harsh voice startled me out of my thoughts. I turned around. A young-looking woman was staring at me. Her eyebrows raised, a scowl on her face. I was blocking her way.

I smiled and apologized and moved aside, giving her way as she began sifting through the row of clothes.

She was yet to feel that change, I smiled as I turned back; she was yet to feel the storm.