The Rooster

The Rooster

My Desperate Happiness

February 2020. My Doodle Doo Rooster pattern was mesmerizing. I was sitting in a creative applique quilt class. My first. He looked so flamboyant on the package. Feathers flew off and away from him as if he were strutting through a strong headwind. This was not just any ordinary rooster. He had a quirky comedic attitude. He was so irresistible that I bought the overpriced pattern kit among many other choices and signed up for the applique class I was now sitting in. I had gone on a wild shopping spree buying lots of colorful fabric to go with some material that I had bought in Kauai in 2018. I adored Hawaiian prints and had sewed and quilted my first and only miniature wall hanging of Hanalei Bay in 2019. The little Hawaiian quilt hung on my bedroom wall greeting me every morning. I visualized my rooster hanging in my office/craft room also welcoming me to a new and bright day.

But as I sat down with my materials and pattern in class, I suddenly realized I was in for an enormous project that would take months. Intimidated by the size alone, I wondered if I could pull this project off at all… As the teacher wandered by me, she said, "I made a rooster from that pattern." I clearly heard a groan. She continued, "It's a big one, but it'll be wonderful when you finish!" Panic creeped in, but I took a deep breath, and I began. First cutting some feathers from my vibrant fabrics. Then I traced out the body of the rooster on top of a 35" by 42" tracing material. I would build my entire quilt on this foundation. This was when I truly realized just how big the project was. My adjacent classmate was working on a flamingo with tropical fabrics about half the size of mine. I was jealous and told her so. She laughed and said, "Size doesn't really matter, just keep at it, even it takes years." I liked her immediately.

We started talking about future trips we were going to take soon. We had both retired in 2018. Hers was a round-the-world tour that she and her family had been planning for years. They were to leave in late March, but she was worried about a virus that was quickly becoming a pandemic. I told her I had heard something about it too. We went on with the day and quickly got absorbed with how to create these wild and creative wall hangings which ranged from quail, turtles, and flowerpots to a deer head. I was acutely aware of my ineptness as I had never done applique work before this class. I watched how my classmates did it and asked a lot of questions as I cut fabric pieces and placed them on fusible paper, then placed them on the patterned foundation. It looked so easy. You just cut and stick, except my brain had trouble cutting the fabric on the correct side to adhere to the fusible. I kept cutting it upside down. Oops.

After a long day, I brought my extra-large prize rooster home with high expectations of what could be. I looked forward to spending time picking out fabrics for each part of this rooster, cutting them free hand, and placing them within this rooster's body shape and all around the background. I imagined adding the extras, like falling feathers, flowers, steps for him to walk on, maybe the sun shining. I liked unstructured endeavors that are shaped in a flow of creativity. I truly looked forward to it.

I set up a table big enough for the big boy, got out the iron, and all the sewing gadgets I would need. I knew it would be a long solitary process, but little did I know just how isolated I would be over the next year. Not wanting to lose momentum, I began right away. I sorted similar color piles and separated floral/feather motifs from the background fabrics. The first week went by quickly as I went to my project off and on each day, slowly cutting and placing pieces of feathers and flowers on and around the rooster's body.

As March 2020 rolled out, Covid-19 became a reality. I stopped working on my rooster every day. The world changed in a matter of a week. There were so many unknowns. As with everyone, we were unsure on how to proceed. We bought extra food and supplies, made cloth masks and our own hand sanitizer. We started wearing masks everywhere. And stopped visiting friends and family. The feeling was one of alarm mixed with disbelief. We didn't know how to live like this very well. Isolated, I finally resumed working on my applique project. Focusing on my creation was a welcome balm, a needed distraction over the horrors of the daily news. I named him, Koa Akela, a Hawaiian name meaning graceful and brave. In Kauai, there are many wild roosters roaming the island. More colorful than any domesticated chickens, they delight the tourist. I wanted my Koa Akela to help me get through this uncertain time. Working on him, kept me sane if only for a little while.

I tackled a bit more work on Koa Akela almost every day. One April morning, my husband, a watercolor artist came in to see how the project was going, a rare occasion. He left me mostly alone with my rooster. So, I tentatively asked for his opinion. He gently offered a small change. He noted the rooster's legs were a good match in design and color for a real rooster, but they were blending into the paler background I had begun. He was right. I got out some bright pink floral fabric and placed them over the yellowish legs. Ah, yes, now Koa Akela was really strutting his bravado. Ever thankful for my husband's artist eye, I began to cry. Without realizing it, I had made myself vulnerable by asking for a critique. At a time when everyone was scared and feeling defenseless against the now rampant virus, letting myself be exposed to anything felt strange. I wondered if our lives would ever go back to normal. My panicky moment of realizing that my project would take months was miniscule compared to the ongoing pandemic. It had so far been the darkest, most uncertain year in our lifetime.

As the days of Covid isolation went by, I persisted at creating Koa Akela into being. I wanted to be done by the summer. By late June, I had done it. Looking at my creation, I was dumbstruck by the fact that I had finished him and that he actually existed in this flowery feathery happy otherworld. My husband dutifully made a rod from some plastic pipe we had laying around in the basement and hung him on a wall so we could admire him. For one brief but spectacular moment, we both felt a desperately needed happiness.