The Race We're All In

People continued to jog down the dirt trail. Dozens by dozens they came and went, turning each corner up and down the mountain. None of us knew why we were in the race, yet we all were, and people were not willing to give up any inch to lose their lead. I found myself in the middle of the pack, not too rushed and not too slow. I was pacing myself for the long run and just enjoying the scenery, as I continued to jog along with the four of my friends.

For the most part, it was rather fun, sometimes it got hard to keep going, but we always managed, trying our best to not use up all of our energy. We were only a quarter into the race, so we were just trying to enjoy it while we still could, before the race started to really get hard. We had no idea what to expect, but weren't in much of a rush to find out, unlike some of the people here.

My competitive friend, Andre, jogged ahead of the pack, as the rest of my friends just tried to keep up. I could tell he wanted to get ahead in the race, but didn’t want to quite take off on his own yet. The rest of us weren’t really incentivized to win like he was. We knew there was a lot of race left, so we had no problem messing around for the time being. Besides, it would only be a mile longer till we reached the first checkpoint.

As we continued to jog, I began to look around the trail we were on. We came a long way already, a lot more to go, but it was never bad looking back at the progress we made. I also looked around at some of the people in the race. Besides my group of friends, I knew a lot of others here as well. Some of them I met before and some of them I met just recently. They were all in their own little groups too, some were ahead and some were behind, but occasionally we’d see each other whenever our pace finally matched.

The race was approximately 75 miles long. It was gonna take quite a while till we got to the end, but given how quick the first part went by, who knows? Regardless, we kept to the trail the best we could for a while longer, until something eventually came up as a sudden surprise.

Our friend Hugo picked up his pace to reach Andre, whispering something in his ear, so the rest of us couldn’t hear. Andre said something back, to which Hugo hesitantly looked back over at us to get the rest of the group's attention. He said he was going to go off path to try and take a shortcut. We really didn’t know why he would do that, it was thick wilderness, and we were only a bit away from the checkpoint. Everyone was confused, but we knew we couldn’t keep him from doing so, so we just agreed, and said our farewells. And without any more closure, we then watched him jump off the path, and continue into the depths of the forest around us.

We were still all so confused on why he would just decide to do that, especially with us being all so close to the checkpoint, but all we could really do was just hope he found his way without getting stuck. It was now just four of us now as we continued to make our way down the trail, all the way to the checkpoint.

Once we made the final turn to see the checkpoint up ahead, we all began excitedly approaching the little rest stop up ahead. We got to a big area with little booths and shops everywhere. It was meant to shelter and refuel us for as long as we needed, until we were ready to keep going. But, as the four of us walked around, all happy to be here, we couldn’t find the path forward.

People were everywhere, which made it hard to see through the large crowd, but even with that, we just couldn’t find the main path forward. It wasn’t just us either, we looked around at others, and they too seemed confused on where to go next. But, figuring it was a problem for later, we enjoyed the break we had and sat down for a little.

It was from there we got to see a bunch of our other friends as everyone seemed to come together in this large but little space. All of us were happy to be here as we hugged and showed our affection after this first break in the storm. It seemed beautiful to see everyone all in one place, in such a happy energetic mood. Maybe not so energetic, but it was a feeling that was unreplicable. It was the journey that bonded us and now that we made it to this checkpoint, it seemed great to see everyone make it here.

However, as realization slowly kicked in about the moment, we suddenly felt the confusion about what to do next. We had to keep going, but where? There was no sign, no path, no direction. And as we all stared around us, we realized that this part was going to be up to us. There was no longer a path we knew so clearly, only a forest that none of us could see behind. But, regardless, this was the next step. This was the time where we made our own way.

Suddenly, as everyone else began to realize this too, things became a lot more—sincere. The excitement was still there, but it was uncertain excitement. There were plenty of ways to go, but we knew we weren't going to all stick together. We all have different paces and we all have different opinions on where we think is best. And having that awareness, created that unique feeling I was trying to describe. Because, as we all knew, this might be the last time we ever see each other eye to eye, as there was no more path to keep us all together. As for the main friend group, we might stay close for some time, but at what point will someone have to stretch away. It was bound to happen, it was only a matter of when.

Pretty shortly after, we found out when. Andre always had the quicker pace out of all of us. He knew this and so did we. Even before this, I've always known his pace would eventually separate him from me and the rest of the group.

Andre walked up to us and let us know his plans. He told us how he was planning to head out to the surrounding wilderness. He wasn’t too hit by us not coming with him, as he already knew what he wanted to do. So, as we waved him goodbye on his journey ahead, the three of us sat together on a table, wondering what we would do next.

It was now just me, Angel, and Christopher. We sat together, reminiscing about the good times as we looked at the wilderness up ahead. Like Andre, we began to see others head into the woods as well. Some of them we knew, some of them we didn’t. No clear direction, but making their way onwards regardless. We knew our time would eventually come as well, but we all had our different conflictions. We shared the same pace to a good degree, but we all had different minds.

Christopher had his plan on where he thought he should go, but was in absolute zero rush to get there. My dear friend Angel had plans of his own and people of his own, pointing him in a direction as well, also not rushed to make any critical move. I—well I was lost in the words of others. The entire time I waited in place, I kept listening to the sounds of others trying to tell me where to go, but where to go wasn’t what I was looking for. In the end, I was left in uncertainty on when or where I will choose my own way.

As the three of us sat, I continued to pace my mind heavily as I had a compelling urge to move myself forward. I wanted to make my way into the forest, but I didn't as well. I didn’t know what was beyond those trees and part of me was nervous to find out. I could always listen to the voices around me or maybe take a direction I see most going in, but that just didn’t settle with me. I didn’t want to feel rushed to take action, but I was.

The longer I sat, the more unsettled I became. I was amongst friends and others who I've known throughout the race, but I felt like I was distancing myself for my own good. I felt like if I did, then I would only be distracting myself from finally taking action. I couldn’t remain comfortable here or else I might lose the desire to move. There was still a race I had to reach the end to, but the longer I sat comfortably, the less I wanted to keep running.

My friends knew when they would eventually go, but that was something I just didn't have. I ran on motivation and my own cautious decisions. Of course, that was only bad because I wanted to make the right decision, but in reality I was still heading down the same forest as everyone else. I had to go—I had to keep moving, yet I continued to remain idle on the table.

I had the energy to keep going, I didn’t know if it was laziness or what, but I just didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to go off trail, I mean, I did, but—I just wasn’t ready. Does not being ready really make me lazy or is it just the excuse I give myself for not moving forward? I didn’t know and most likely never would, but as I looked out and watched more and more people head out to the wilderness, it finally came to me.

Whoever told me this was supposed to be a race? This entire time it seemed like I was trying to live up to greatness and be the first to achieve it. The competition of the world was never stated, it was just accepted. I don’t have to be the first to anything. I don’t need to feel like I’m wasting time by simply observing the world around me. The forest is not going anywhere, so why am I acting like it will? I don’t have to leave my friends and people I know, just because I feel like I should. So, till the day comes that I’m finally ready, I’ll be sitting with my friends, enjoying my break from the times we used to have.

© 2025, John Henry. Published by WhisperPublications. All rights reserved.

— John Henry