The Pursuit of Uniqueness

What did you see? A reflection of me…

Was it only you? I felt it was…

Were you the core? Undoubtedly so…

Could it have been another way? I begin to wonder…

Here’s the answer I got: “…around 8.2 billion people…”; a colossal number. Eight billion people inhabit this tiny, spinning ball we call Earth, floating in the vast, cold, dark, and airless universe. Eight billion. A number so large that the zeros make your mind swirl, much like the Earth revolves around the Sun and our galaxy spins around a supermassive black hole. It is a number our minds cannot quite grasp, one that seems impossible to comprehend. The ignorant laugh at it, the smart ones acknowledge it, and the geniuses find ways to leverage it. Just above 8 billion! And most likely, you are wondering... Am I unique? Am I good at math? Am I bad at football? Is there anyone better — or worse — than me? Do I have something that no one else has? The answer is simple, yet hard to truly understand.

Wherever you come from, whatever you believe in, whoever you love — deep down, you want to feel exceptional, distinct, notable, memorable. Simply unique! Most people spend their lives searching for ways to set themselves apart, to prove — if only to themselves — that they are more than just ordinary, simply conventional. Even if you know, deep down, that you are just another person in the grand scheme of things, you still crave to be one of a kind. You want to be remembered for what you achieved, what you created, what you read, wrote, or even how much wealth or intelligence you accumulated. You want to leave a mark — a mark that cannot be erased. But why? Why chase this feeling when you know that life is about more than recognition? Why do you keep striving, again and again, to satisfy this “little you” that craves relevance? Anxiety of insignificance. Here we go…I said it; anxiety of insignificance. You do not want to be just another individual, lost in the expansiveness of time. You fear the idea that your life might not matter, that you — or anything yours — could vanish without a trace. And so, you fight against this fear by constantly chasing achievement, attaching meaning to every step you take. But how long can you keep this up? How long can you run from the quiet realization that meaning in life is not something you earn — but it is just something you choose! Just stop for a moment and ask yourself: “How long will I let my ambition consume me before I pause, before I breathe, before I truly live?”

It was a 4-hour journey by train to my student city. Four hours; just enough time to read, if I was lucky enough to “steal” a book from my brother’s room without him noticing, listen to music, if the rattling of the train allowed it, or maybe take a nap, provided the person next to me was calm and considerate. And yet, despite all these amusements, there was still time left — time to stare out the window as the sun ”baked” the dry wheat fields of that region — time to think deeply. Being on a train for all these hours, you cannot help but think about everything you have been through; everything that lies ahead; and all the questions that have crossed your mind in these few years that you are alive. Am I unique? Are my parents? Is the annoying person sitting next to me unique? What does it even mean to be unique? And if we are all unique, does uniqueness itself lose its meaning then? Too many existential questions for my young mind plus though I had no answers for any of them. And yet, even years later, the weight of these questions persists, unsettling me still.

Do you ever question why you like receiving flowers? Or being congratulated for an achievement? When people say thank you for a gift you have given them? Or, when your partner says, "I love you," and you know they mean it? Being unique is a glorious quality, and feeling like one is the true representation of happiness. All of these acts are aimed at making you feel unique — a quality that your partner, your boss, a friend wants you to experience for something you have done or offered. Feeling unique, appreciated by someone else, gives you the motivation you need, the meaning you have been seeking in life, and the gratitude that cannot be bought with money. These beautiful acts and words are what make you feel like the person so many others long to be — but only a few ever succeed in becoming.

We are just biology — deeply wired to survive. It is our nature, written in our genes, and reflected in everything we do. We are the result of evolution with each generation striving to pass on our genomic sequences — at least the dominant ones, or those that will eventually prevail — with one simple goal: Survival! Did you really think you could escape your biological signatures? What you feel, what you reject, the people you cannot stand; all of your thoughts are shaped by your genetic makeup, binding you to a fate you cannot outrun. From an evolutionary perspective, being exceptional translates into better opportunities — whether in work, relationships, or friendships — all of which increase the chances of survival. The more opportunities you create, the more likely you are to succeed, at least in theory. Yet, in modern society, this model is not always that straightforward. As you chase glory, accomplishments, and success, you fail to see the deeper truth: your endless pursuit of uniqueness is nothing more than an instinctively triggered battle to fulfill the genomic blueprint that characterizes both you and the world around you.

I would be a fool to dismiss the false confidence that comes with feeling unique — I would be a moron! I do not see myself as unique; I know I am one of many, just another person contributing in some way to the survival of our species. But striving for uniqueness is a recipe for success. Confidence and a sense of individuality are what people should embrace. Is that arrogant? Maybe it seems so, but it fuels resilience to overcome challenges, ignites creativity to achieve goals, and drives both personal and professional growth. More importantly, it fills life with meaning — whatever that may be — bringing happiness and a sense of purpose for a better future. Thus, when it comes to the question of meaning; hmm, that is something you must figure out on your own. It is not easy, not at all. It is obvious — as obvious that you would not believe it — yet elusive. And if you are lucky enough to see through it all, then you are already “unique”!

Are you really one-of-a-kind or you are kind of just one of them?

What was I tricked into seeing? A reflection of me…

Was it finally all of them? I felt it was…

Was it then never about me? Undoubtedly so…

Could I ever be unique? I begin to wonder…