The Pursuit of Passions

If you had asked me years ago in high school, "do you want to write for a living?", then I would have said, "absolutely not. I don't even English.". Writing was the furthest thing from my mind! I am an introverted, young, black woman just wanting to figure out the next 5 years of her life. I am 'good enough' at various creative feats; such as crocheting/knitting, dancing, painting- well barely, and some other artistic ventures; however, I never thought writing would be something I'd seriously consider (the exception being that my major required papers or essays left and right).

In high school, my friends- and I use the term loosely- could be counted on one hand, and, like I mentioned before, I'm introverted so what would draw me towards communicating with anyone? Social events drained my batteries rapidly, leaving me in the red until I had my own private time to read a book, listen to music, or watch a movie. Heck, I didn't even know what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, unlike the rest of my peers. It wasn't until much later, after graduating both community college and university, that I found my higher calling. Honestly, it's still a work-in-progress because I have no idea what I'm doing.

In addition to my lack of communication skills, I'm the type of person that likes to live in my head- for all of you zodiac sign readers, yes I am a Pisces. If I had it my way, I could swim in the seas of my imaginative currents all day long without a care in the world nor with any regard to reality. My walls are safe, comfortable, and full of vibrant colors, and I'm convinced I could add to the color wheel. Unfortunately, due to living in my head, I've missed out on opportunities that would have expanded my horizons (a Pisces fatal flaw and a blessing... interesting how that works). It took me years to understand why I wasn't getting the results that I expected to have. I am an educated woman for crying out loud! It wasn't the lack of research and effort to ensure that I knew what I was talking about. It was the fact that I wasn't using my voice at all. Outside of the person I knew myself to be in my head, I didn't know who I was to the world- I didn't know my place in the world, barely what I wanted to be.

I couldn't even tell you what voice I had. Mental me versus reality me were two different people battling for dominance, and there was no way of settling the debate unless I made a decision. Consciously making a decision to wake up instead of daydream away was scary initially. (Thanks to those who forced me to socialize outside of my safety; I think you would be very proud of the progress although there is still much to be done). The caveat was the more I tried new things, then the more I enjoyed it. It was through trial and error that I began to find my voice; thereby, finding myself and my place in the world.

Make no mistake, I still have my doubts! But, I realized that I am allowed and entitled to make changes as I see fit for my life at the time of my choosing. To make a long story short, my desire to write wasn't a simple journey of just waking up one day and say, "the life of a writer is for me!" In fact, it was quite the opposite! For me, writing became my tether from my mind to the outside world- a world I fear and respect. It became something so real and vulnerable that I began to see the colors bleed into something equally astounding and new, dancing together like several burning flames forming into a conglomerate. It is my voice that I began to hear.

So here I am in the middle of the night, writing about writing. I suppose I'm hoping that what I want to do for the rest of my life was the right move to make, and that I am able to help others that are searching for themselves like I was- let's be honest, I still am! I hope that this was motivation enough to encourage you to write if that's on your heart to do. It doesn't matter your situation nor your circumstances. You never know who you will touch just by being yourself. There is no weakness in striving to understand oneself, only the pain of not acting on what would be fulfilling for you- because that is a guarantee if you do nothing. So, whatever your passion is, don't wait any longer.

Don't let another day pass you by wishing this and wishing that. Don't allow what others perceive about your abilities infect and influence what you know to be true about yourself. Don't stop the pursuit of what causes you to find joy and fulfillment! You were born and designed in such a way that is unique to only you. In such a time as this, you exist and take in breath for a purpose of your choosing. Create! Inspire! Live out your purpose! The only person responsible and accountable for you is yourself. Saisir l'occasion! Cogli l'attimo! Vive el momento! Nutze den Tag! Seize the day!