The Perils of Meta-Doubt

Trust is the firm, undeniable belief in the reliability of someone or something. If A inevitably leads to B . . . well, trust believes that both A and B are pretty sure bets. They are reliable . . . predictable, even. You can trust that all will go according to plan and all will be well.

Doubt? Well, doubt leaves you with that lingering, sometimes overwhelming, feeling of uncertainty. It pokes you in the back and keeps poking you until you turn around and deal with it. And if you don't? Prepare to suffer the bruises.

And doubt takes up an inordinate amount of mind space. Creative space. Emotional space. It is a lousy roommate, always demanding preferential treatment, hogging the remote, eating your snacks, and leaving messes in its wake for you to clean up. Why do we put up with it?

The Perils of Meta-Doubt

Doubt is one of those feelings that leaves us second guessing ourselves into an unsettled state that only leaves us feeling even more doubtful.

Think of it as meta-doubt.

You want to believe and to remain optimistic and to feel a confidence concerning a decision that you need to make . . . but you also want to hedge your bets. You are fearful that you might be borrowing trouble. That there will be no turning back. That things might get even worse than they are now. That the cost will be too high to pay.

No wonder doubt is the stuff of our worst nightmares.

When you compare the meaning of these two words trust and doubt, it is easy to understand why it is more satisfying and fulfilling to set your personal default to trust.

Checkpoints in Growth

Like cells that have their own growth cycle, trust and doubt undergo their own different phases or stages. As cells multiply, there are checkpoints at the end of each stage of growth to make sure that the last stage is fully completed before moving to the next stage.

When we find ourselves at the end of our own growth cycle or at one of life's crossroads, let your checkpoints be governed by trust, not doubt.

Questions of Doubt

• Should I accept the new job offer?
• Should I move across the country to a town where no one knows me?
• Should I adopt a new pet?
• Should I go back to school?
• Should I break up with my boyfriend?
• Should I make that appointment?
• Should I . . . ? Should I . . .?

Notice how all these doubts are foreshadowed by the word should.

Reframe Should with Statements of Trust

What if we were to re-frame these same questions with statements of trust? Notice what happens when you replace should with am and will:

• I am ready to start a new career.
• I am brave enough to embark on a moving adventure into new territory.
• My life will be so enriched by adopting a new pet.
• By returning to school, I will learn and experience so many amazing things.
• I am ready to honor my own preferences and become independent.
• Knowledge is power, and I will have more information after my appointment.

Bravo and brava! These statements have a special side order of spunk and grit that embolden even the weakest of doubters.

Give Doubt a shovel and it will scatter your strengths and bury your hopes. Meta-doubt is far more harmful and damaging than we give it credit for. As we spend time doubting, we spin our wheels and allow opportunities to breeze by . . . even when they are exactly what we have been hoping to pursue and realize.

We think that by doing nothing, we are honoring our preferences . . . but are we?

At the End of a Growth Cycle?

The next time you hear yourself doubting yourself or prefacing a sentence with I should or I shouldn't, maybe you are merely at the end of a growth cycle and you find yourself at one of life's checkpoints.

1. Please, be kind to yourself for feeling a little uneasy or uncertain about launching yourself into the next growth stage. It's natural to wonder about the possibilities or perils at these checkpoints.
2. Take a deep breath, eradicate any and all doubt, and replace it with a trust statement that replaces should with am or will.
3. Say each statement out loud. Tape them to the wall by your desk. Jot them onto post-its and put them on your bathroom mirror. Leave them out on the table or kitchen countertop. Stuff them in the toe of your running shoes.
4. Repeat each one, as needed. Trust statements are empowering words that anyone can benefit from. They won't let you down.
5. Visualize. Imagine what your life would look like and feel like if you trusted yourself more and doubted yourself less. Creative visualization is empowering and effective in moving you from a place of fear or overwhelm. And the best part? It's fun to think of yourself in your new paradigm of trust.

When I trust myself, I feel lighter, happier, and more creative. I feel more aware of opportunities and more motivated to try something new. I feel more generous and more empathetic. It’s as if the world feels to be a more benevolent place . . . maybe because I have opened my heart a little wider and love travels in both directions: away and back home again.

Clear away any doubt and limiting beliefs. Reframe those thoughts and connect with trust. I believe in you.