The New Star

I was making my way down to the old horse barn. It was always a noisy walk, with the sound of gravel crunching under my feet. The green metal roof was steaming in the sun; forcing the dew that had settled overnight to evaporate into the sky. While having my morning coffee, I had noticed a grey wolf walking through the heavy brush behind the wood shed. We lived on a mountainside surrounded by acres of forest overlooking the river. Many wild animals walked through our property on their way to wherever they were going. I had seen cougars, bears, coyotes, even a porcupine, but never before that day had I seen a wolf. I decided to follow him down the path. I watched as he disappeared around the back of the barn. I lifted the latch and slid the heavy barn door open. Typically the barn was empty, just some random fragments of sawdust and hay scattered throughout the unoccupied stalls. But the energy in the barn was different than the other times I had come down and the air was changing. I could feel a heightened awareness around me, an inner knowing. Looking up into the rafters, I noticed a barn owl looking down at me. She was beautiful and large, her colours glistening in the sunlight that peeked through the doorway. I could feel her wisdom and her strength. I had seen her many times before, one night she was dancing in the tree outside our bedroom window and then another she was perched on the garden gate, gazing out at the moonlight on the river. I heard a noise and the air changed again. It became thick and steady. It wrapped around me like a soft blanket. It was then that I noticed the wolf had walked in through a large hole in the back wall. He was seated underneath the owl and they were both looking at me. I could feel their energy connecting with one another, growing in strength. As the energy got stronger, it started to become visible and I could hear it. At first, the sound was low and it was like jumbled words that made no sense. They were having a conversation. I strained to make sense of what they were saying. I felt my own body start to vibrate and noticed my own energy reaching into their space, and after a few moments I connected with them and the words became clearer. The owl wanted to share her wisdom with me but the wolf wanted to remain loyal to the laws of creation. They hadn’t yet noticed my energy had attached to theirs and before they could stop their conversation, I knew the owl was going to decide to invite me into the knowing. The wolf, disappointed that the owl was not going to keep things hidden until their right time, slipped away so as not to be witness. I pulled my own energy back in, but suddenly, the owls energy was reaching out to me. It leapt into me and I felt warm. I stood there unable to move, the air changing once again. I asked myself what was happening? What is the knowing? And as I asked myself these questions, the answers came with them. I was confused at the possibility of it, but when I had connected my energy with their spirits, my own spirit became aware and the owl had completed that process with her exchange. I ran out of the barn and back to the house. I locked myself in the bathroom and didn’t come out for hours. It was dark now and I was laying on my bed watching the moon. I turned my head to look towards the river, and there was the beautiful barn owl, dancing in the tree once again. My gaze shifted to the base of the tree, where the lone grey wolf was howling a song into the night. I knew what was coming. My heart ached and I could feel my spirit wailing. The depth of sadness and ache I felt over this loss was exponential. I felt an emptiness in the physical world. Someone I loved had chosen to leave the physical plane. I knew he was gone, his energy had crossed over and I wept into my pillow with sadness, my vibration elevating. Immediately, I felt a familiar soul hovering around me, I could feel he was trying to get my attention. It was him. I didn’t have to ask any questions, I already had all of the answers. I knew it all. I got up from the bed and walked into my closet, grabbing armfuls of clothing and breathing deep; taking in the scent that would no longer fill my home. I forgive you, my love. I forgive you. My vibration was increasing even more. At first I had felt anger, rage, sadness, melancholy. Then I felt an empty abyss tearing through my inner being. The emotions became a swirling tornado inside me as my vibration continued to get faster and faster. Soon, every shred of hurt or pain or anger was transforming into something beautiful from my choice of forgiveness. I started feeling pure love. I started feeling lighter and lighter. There was now a warm yellow light surrounding me and I felt a peace that I had never felt before. The owl was watching all of this, perched in the tree, under the moon outside my bedroom window. I walked over and she invited me into the tree. Just jump, she said and let the love transform you. So I decided to trust her and I jumped out of the window and into the night. When I opened my eyes, I was perched in the top of the tree with the large, beautiful owl. I could see my reflection in her large eyes. I looked exactly like her. I was transformed into a wise owl, blessed with the inner knowing, able to help others with their transition of grief. I had a new purpose and a new way of life. I knew that everything was in the right order and that I was going to be okay. We both danced in the tree overlooking the river; the moon shining it’s light over all of my new possibilities. And as I looked up into the night, thankful for this gift, I saw the sky give birth to a brand new star.