The magical notebook

There she was. Again. Homeless. After everything she had been through and worked for, she got herself into the same position.

Hopelessness

How stupid could one person be? Why did it have to be her? Sometimes she thought it would be way easier to just die. Be nobody's problem anymore, not even her own. But she'd been there, too. Back when her chemotherapy was delayed and she wanted to end it all. Her dog had walked in and saved her by simply being there and relying on her. Ah, if she didn't have him, she'd given up by now.

What made her situation really hopeless? She wasn't homeless enough to get help, she wasn't sleeping rough. She was sleeping on a fold-up bed on someone's bedroom floor. Someone whom she didn't really know and she really didn't want to know any more after sharing all these intimate moments that you never want to share with a stranger.

So, what to do? This was no life. Not for her or her little pooch. Away from friends, away from life, completely dependent on others' help to even get money or food. Despair was taking over. Depression. Anxiety. It felt like the whole world was against her. It felt impossible to overcome.

She looked around her at the few possessions that she had brought with her. For no other purpose than to give her some comfort in an environment that felt suffocating. Her lifeline? Pen and paper. Always had been, always will be. Her oxygen? That little black notebook with the envelope thing at the back where she keeps some London Tube maps because she loves the art on them.

Enter: the woo-woo

Suddenly, she remembered what she had read about the Law of Attraction. It sounded all a bit too good to be true, but there's not much to lose from rock bottom, so why not give it a go? There were several steps. Number one: Have a vision. See it and feel it as if it was true now.

Huh. Sounded impossible already, but she gave it a try. Meditated every single day feeling the relief, seeing herself back in Notting Hill, in her very own place with all the comforts that she once had; just better this time. With more ease. No more suffering, no more survival mode.

Right, she was ready for taking this a step further. Something called future scripting. Oh gosh, alright. Write down your ideal day as if it had happened yesterday. Feel all the emotions and the peace inside. Time for the notebook then.

She ripped out the first few pages with meaningless scribbles on them to have a fresh start. Then she started writing, straight from her heart. And the words were flowing as if they weren't even hers. It felt so easy. She felt the relief, the peace, the freedom rushing through her body. All the chaos around her; forgotten. All her struggles; wiped away, if only for the moment. It was addictive!

For the next five months, she kept writing in her new diary. Creating her dream life on paper while the world around her seemed to be crumbling. She had also started writing the things she's grateful for at the back of the black notebook each night. The roof over her head. Enough food to see her through every day. Running hot water. Her dog. Her health. It lifted her spirits every night and helped her fall asleep.

Day by day, her despair lifted. She felt the energy of life coming back into her body and her soul. She started sharing her story with people around her and online. It was raw and vulnerable and liberating all at the same time. And it resonated. There was no pity, just understanding and compassion.

It works!

Her little notebook was almost full when the first people started asking her for advice on how to stay positive when the world seems to fall apart. She couldn't believe the messages she had received. It wasn't even that she had stayed positive, it was that she had learnt to feel all the things she never wanted to feel and then put that intense energy into...well, what they call manifesting. Which for her was just a way to stay sane, to keep holding on to life and find some sort of purpose during the most difficult time.

That's what she told them. The first people started paying her for that hard truth and for holding their hand along the way. Most of those people had never been in a remotely similar situation. Yet they trusted her to lead them because she was overcoming adversity by being still and writing down her dream life every day. They wanted part of that.

The miracle

One day, she received a message she thought was the biggest scam in history. Someone who had never got in contact before, but had followed her story and had watched her grow and thrive over the months, sent her this:

Hey, I was wondering if you offered some sort of... mentorship? I'm looking for, like, a call every other week for about a year. To start with anyway. I'm not sure what your rates are, but I thought $20,000 would be adequate. Happy to pay upfront. What do you think?

She didn't respond for two days. And then she asked them if they were serious and when they would want to start. Just to see what happens, really. It turned out they were serious. They got on a 15-minute call and spoke about the details. Apparently, they had been in a similar situation in the past and overcome it, but have never found the sheer positivity, joy and inner peace that she was exuding every day. So they wanted to learn.

They agreed and she received the money within 24 hours. She found it so hard to believe the number on her bank account. It seemed so unreal after almost a year of what felt like groundhog day. She had never seen so much money all at once, let alone knowing this was HERS.

New beginnings

A new life was about to begin. She could move, finally. Back home. Back to Notting Hill. Back to where she belonged. As if by magic, things started falling into place. She found her dream apartment and paid six months upfront to then buy the furniture she had dreamt of for about 10 years. The calls with that client (she had clients!) were so very easy and she had a massive impact on them. More and more people wanted to work with her, she was thriving inside and outside and she thought about new dreams.

Looking at the full notebook on her desk, she took it with her to find the exact same one in the shop. To start a new journey, to dream even bigger. When she was browsing in the stationery shop, she heard a mother argue with her teenage daughter about how they couldn't afford such an expensive notebook and how she should choose a cheaper one. The girl was eyeing up the black notebook that she was holding in her hands.

Passing on the magic

So, she approached the mother and asked if she could do her a favour and buy the notebook for her. Overwhelmed and after some hesitation, the mother agreed. She asked the daughter which one she liked best. It was indeed the black one. She bought the two notebooks and bought a pen for the girl that she used to write a note inside the notebook.

This is a magical notebook. It makes your dreams come true. Write in it every day and dream BIG. When it is full, call me on... :)

The girl's eyes lit up and her mother thanked her what felt like 100 times. She encouraged them to actually call when the magical black notebook was full, even if it was only to tell her what had happened. They promised and they parted ways.

Home

She went back home, truly home for the first time in so many years. She felt the peace, the relief and the gratitude she had practised in her darkest hours. And she knew that her new magical notebook would make her new dreams come true as well. One step at a time. Forever believing in the magic and in herself. Her heart was full.