The Last Conversation

Today is going to be a long day. I had no money to take an Uber and I was expected to be at the hospital in 15 minutes. It is a 30 minute walk. So I start my journey. After finally arriving, I got a text from Aaron. It said, “I love you, don’t worry we will find a way to make it happen.” I love my husband to death. He is always so hopeful. I can only pray he is right. The exam to get my medical license is in 2 weeks and I don’t have the money to pay for it. Those sad thoughts can wait.Now its time to start visiting todays patients.

Im surprised to see the first patient on my list is Dr. Port. He has been in and out with post viral complications. Without hesitation I proceed to his room. As I went through his chart it was surprising to see no one has come to visit. No one has responded emails or texts from the hospital. The last attempts had been made 5 minutes ago. This was the 15th attempt at reaching any relative. I knocked on his door and entere .

“They are not coming.” He said in a surprisingly calm voice and tone.

“Im sorry to inform you we haven’t been able to get in touch with anyone on your list.” I paused to see that his expression remained unchanged. “Is there any other number you would like me to try?” I asked hoping he would pull out his cellphone. He shrugged and replied by slowly shaking his head.

I couldn’t believe it. I mentally told myself to act casual. This was my teacher, mentor and role model. How could it have come to this? Dr. Port is the reason I wanted to become a doctor. He is an eminence. He has written countless studies and won prizes. He is the most dedicated doctor I know.

Why is he here ?

Why is he alone?

Dr. Port smiled. There was sympathy in his eyes, “Please have a seat. I Just want somebody to talk to.”

I sat down trying to not look at him with pity or to make him uncomfortable. Never in the years I’ve been acquainted with him had I ever imagined anything similar to this moment.

“Hmmmm” He cleared his throat. “We both know I’m not going to make it out of here.” He paused as if he was letting his words sink in. “ While I’ve been in this room for the past two months I have had time to think. I never thought I would be on this side of the equation Avery.”

He glanced at me. I could see tears pooling at the corners of his eyes. I resisted the urge to raise my eyebrows and look freaked out by the fact that he used my first name.

“I don’t think any of us ever do.” I replied. He was staring at me and sighed.

“ Now that I’m dying, I’ve been forced to listen to people.” He said. “Don’t know that I ever had really listened.” He paused to accommodate himself in the hospital bed. “We go around pretending to hear the people around us, but we aren’t always there mentally.” His smile started to turn into a frown. “I wish I could’ve done it better.” He said softly. “We don’t get a replay .” He paused.

I could see how all this talking was making him fatigued.

“Sadly we live like we do.” He managed to continue saying .By this point his breathing had become labored.

“Would you like me to get another pillow ?” I asked. He lifted his hand motioning a no as he started speaking.

“ I know I gave you hell as a medical student, but its only because I saw what you could become . I was right.” He paused. “ When I see you, I see a lot of myself.” He stopped to catch his breath. “Im proud to say I was your teacher.” He looked straight into my eyes . A knot started forming in my throat.

“This is why I want to tell you something no one else will.” He said as he turned towards me. He took a deep breath and for a moment I think I saw a tear roll down his cheek as he began to speak again.

“I look back sometimes at the person I was before getting sick.” He said in a low voice. “I want to talk to that person. I want to stop him. Tell him how to not become such a mess. Show him some things really don’t have any value. Beg him to be more open, and ignore the crazy cycle we all seem to fall in with life. Say stop chasing pointless material obsessions. I wish I could stop him from stealing time from the people he loves. Tell him to call in sick and stay at his daughters birthday. Make him go to his sons recital, and get his wife flowers.” His voice was starting to break as he said these last words.

“I wish I would’ve seen this sooner, if I had I wouldn’t be here.” He sighed. “Avery, nothing replaces time. As I said, I see a lot of myself when I see you. I do not however wish to see you have a similar ending to your story. Nothing can replace time. This is the reason I hope you make much better calls with yours than I did with mine.” As he said this he pointed towards me with a shaking arm for a few seconds. “The truth is, you will always have a thousand things on your plate, choose wisely. Thank you for being so kind, and for being present.” He finished .

“ You have nothing to thank me for you …” I was interrupted.

“Good night Dr. Conn, I believe our time is up. Your other patients need you.” He said this in a very curt and stern voice. Him using my last name again let me know he didn’t want to continue that conversation. I wont lie. I wasn’t even surprised by the abrupt change. This was his usual tone. Unsure of what had just taken place, I resumed checking on his vital signs and started to leave the room.

“Goodnight Dr. Port” I whispered while closing the door.

I tried not to look into my conversation with Dr. Port. I found myself constantly thinking about Aaron and Cassie my daughter. About how I missed her play at school. I almost took an extra shift on her birthday to make extra money.I felt as if Dr. Port had been spying on me. After checking on all my patients and finishing my notes, somehow I managed to fall asleep.

The next morning I was woken up partly scared to death when a nurse walked in the rest area and slammed the door. Grest, I am super late! I had to get to the patient wards and hand in all of last nights notes. I glanced at my watch to see it was almost 9. Why had no one come in? Something must be up.

After arriving at the patient wards, I was greeted by most of the staff outside of Dr. Ports room. Had he passed away ? He had indeed passed away an hour after the morning team arrived.

A man in a suit stood in the hallway and said, “Does anyone know a Dr. Avery Conn?” Everyone standing before me parted to the sides of the hallway. I raised my hand and moved forward.

“How can I help you? That would be me.” I said.

The man walked towards me. “My clients final wish was to hand you this.” He said as he passed me an old black little notebook. I shook my head and opened it. Something was written on this first page. I began reading it.

“ When I had the time, I didn’t have the money. Now that I finally have the money as you can see I don’t have the time. You have a bright future. I am leaving you the 20,000 dollars you need for the test Avery. I obtained many things, but in the end I can say none of these things gave me back my time. I would give it all back for another chance to hug my daughter or see my son graduate. I did neither. I see potential in you. Now live, and live well.”

Dr. William Port