That's Trash

The self saboteur that lives in us all can quite easily get the better of us. Feeding off of our ego, this beast grows and festers to pollute our minds. Only recently, have I began to question my own thought patterns and it has been a challenge to step back and observe these negative loops without judgment. But I believe in order to overcome any self made obstacles you first need to understand the root cause

Throughout my life people have always told me how hard it is to be an artist. They would say “You probably wont make it, but don’t take it personally it’s just the way the world is”. As if they were doing me a favour by preparing me for failure. Although I did not realise at the time, this fear became one of the primary drives behind my works. I felt as though I needed to prove my worth as an artist in order for people to take my creativity seriously. As creatives our worth is often determined by our success, which consequently leaves little room for exploration.

Over the years, I had become reliant on outside validation using it as fuel to push myself further. This lack of control over my own worth had slowly deteriorated my passion without me realising it. My doubts had consumed me, leaving me with this overwhelming fear of failure. Then, one day I was sitting at my desk with my music blasting in the background wondering why I just couldn’t seem to produce anything. The whole day had come and gone and I was still sitting there as if all creativity had been sucked out of me. At this moment I realised I had forgotten why I loved to make in the first place. I reminisced on the times as a kid when I would be drawing for hours and forget the world around me existed. I longed for that sense of freedom to design without my own judgement getting in the way. And so I began my journey to rediscover that inner child that was so simply unaware of life’s judgements and pressures.

I decided to view my creativity as if it were a blank canvas. Wiping the slate clean from any previous influences and re-establish my sense of self and my creative purpose. Drawing upon my curiosity to explore myself and the world around me I began this journey of self discovery. Previously I had always been characterised by my role as a graphic designer. The world had boxed me in as if my creativity needed to be defined in order for people to understand it. I challenged myself to explore all facets of my creative identity through trialing out different mediums. Consequently, I came to the realisation I enjoyed all realms of art, design and fashion. I feel most liberated when merging these disciples as it pushes the boundaries of what can be considered design.

Through this exploration I became aware of the impact I had on the world as a designer. I found that by aligning my work with my own morals and ethics, I could be my most authentic self. My project “That’s Trash” reflects upon my personal journey surrounding how I relate to my self worth. It explores the juxtaposition between societal and sentimental values and how this influences the consequent value (significance) we give garments. In this way, my designs re-contextualise the lifespan of the garment through the process of deconstructing unwanted clothes by cutting them up to re-use these materials.

By the virtue of being humans we experience the cycle of life we are born, we live and we die. Throughout our lifetime we form memories and connections with the external world. This project made me question whether the cycle of life still can be applied to inanimate objects? Do clothes live a life of their own? They store memories within them which is physically visible through the wear and imperfections that occur over time. I liked the idea that redesigning these existing garments and painting my graphics onto them could be viewed as a degree of rebirthing.

My journey of reconnecting with my creativity has allowed me to rewrite the narrative in my head. I have learnt that external validation does not have to determine my ones self worth. With this in mind, the work I produce is inevitably intertwined with my personal journey as it is a reflection of who I am. As a result my designs are ever evolving as I uncover new parts of myself and explore the world around me. Consequently, my curiosity in rediscovering my inner child has allowed me to explore my creativity free from from judgment, providing me with space to express myself.