Staying Positive

The two things I have had the most of in my life are moves and surgeries. Neither of these things is typically considered fun or enjoyable, but I have made it my mission to change that. Throughout my life, I have learned that I cannot always control what happens, no matter how hard I try, but I can control my reaction and mindset surrounding the uncontrollable things that life throws at me. Choosing to be positive is not always easy, and finding the “silver lining” can prove to be quite difficult. I have found that doing these difficult things helps not only me but those around me who find themselves in the same circumstance. The best way I know to move forward is to find the positives no matter the circumstance happening around me.

Moving is typically not a normal thing for kids to be used to, but for me, it always has been. By the time I turned 18 years old, I had moved ten times. That’s ten times I had to pack up my bedroom, ten times I had to say goodbye to neighbors, and ten times I had to start over in a new environment. Moving is not easy. Even after ten times, it is still one of the hardest things for me to do. After the third time moving, I quickly realized that I needed a way for these huge changes to be a positive for me rather than the negative thing I was used to seeing them as. I decided to turn it into a sort of game. I decided that I would intentionally avoid seeing the new place until the very last moment. The first day or two in a new home is always the most difficult for me, so by avoiding knowing anything about the new place, I was able to treat it as an adventure. I could walk in with zero expectations and explore as much as I wanted. By going in blindly, I gave myself the opportunity to completely start over and build my life in these new environments however I chose to.

One move, in particular, was by far the most difficult for me. I had been in a home that I loved so much and thought I would stay in forever. One day in November my parents told me that we were moving. These conversations were something I had come to expect, but with this home, I never thought the conversation would happen. But it did. By the end of January, we had packed up all of our belongings and said goodbye to the best neighbors and the most amazing house I had ever known. I left that house to go to work in the morning and went to a completely new apartment after work. I went with no expectations. All I knew was that this was an apartment in downtown Grand Rapids and that it would be a big transition for everyone in my family. I decided to make the most of it. I pretended that I was a big city girl now, and stuck to that mindset. I walked into that tiny apartment and acted as though we had been living there forever. I memorized all the street names just so that I could say things like “I’m going to that shop on Monroe” because then I felt comfortable. I quickly noticed that these small things made everyone feel more comfortable in our new environment. I made it my goal to stay positive. To find the good in this difficult situation. I was now sharing a room with my sister, and I knew that this big change was very hard for her so I did what I could to make it better for both of us. When she was out with friends one day, I decorated our room with things I knew she loved. Fairy lights everywhere, her favorite candles, cozy blankets and pillows, all these little things that I knew would make her feel more comfortable. I planned activities for us to do together. Little things like going into fancy hotels and pretending we were staying there, going ice skating, and getting hot chocolate from little shops on corners to warm us up. These small things added up and allowed us to stay positive and enjoy the time we had together. By spreading joy and finding the good things in this difficult situation, I not only made it better for myself but also for everyone I was with.

While moving is the most consistent thing in my life, the second is having surgery. I have had quite a few surgeries with varying degrees of severity over the course of my life. Surgery is never a fun thing, but somehow I was determined to make it okay. One specific surgery stands out. I was in Minnesota for this particular procedure and had been told the chances of it working were very low. That is not a thing anyone wants to hear, especially when I had to leave home for it to happen. So there I was, in Minnesota with my dad, having a surgery that was not going to go well. To take my mind off the stress I was feeling, I decided to find the best things to do around the hotel. I got excited about little things like shopping malls, movie theaters, and restaurants, all things that I loved. The day of the surgery came and I told my dad I didn't want to think about that, so in the waiting room, we planned the days ahead. We knew that I wouldn't be able to go shopping or go to these places following the surgery, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that we focused on the good. We kept our minds on positive things to get through the hard day. When I came out of surgery and woke up in the recovery room, the very first words that came out of my mouth were “you know dad, a burger and some chicken wings would really hit the spot right now!” Even in my delirious and drug-induced mindset, I was only focused on the positives. I didn't care that the surgery didn't go well, or that I was stuck in a hospital 500 miles away from home. I only cared about what would make me feel better and how I was going to stay positive no matter what.

Staying positive has always been and will always remain my number one goal. In all things from moving homes to having surgery, focusing on the good is the best way I know to get through it all. Staying positive is important because it helps not only me but everyone around me. While I cannot control the situations I end up in, I can choose to control what I do with them. I choose to be positive, to find the “silver lining”, and to see the good in every circumstance I have ever and will ever find myself in.