Starting My Journey as a Sexual Violence Advocate

Today marked the beginning of something new and meaningful for me. I officially started my online training to become an advocate for STAR®—Sexual Trauma Awareness and Response. It’s a big step for me, one I’ve taken during what feels like a challenging time in my life. But that’s something I’ve noticed about myself over the years: I often choose to begin big, important journeys when things are tough. Somehow, those are the times I grow the most.

The first two hours of training were eye-opening. I read through material and watched several powerful videos about the history of STAR® and the larger movement to end sexual violence. I learned about how far we've come—and how far we still need to go. The information covered topics like rape, domestic violence, workplace harassment, and stalking, and how these issues have been addressed over the decades.

One of the most powerful moments of my training was watching a TED Talk by Tarana Burke, the woman who started the #MeToo movement. Hearing her speak so passionately about survivors and the importance of believing and supporting them reminded me of why I decided to take this step in the first place. Her story was raw, real, and deeply inspiring. She reminded me that healing is possible—not just for individuals, but for communities.

I also watched videos about key figures in the early movement against sexual violence. Women like Gloria Steinem, Barbara Jordan, and Dianne Feinstein helped shape the public conversation and demanded accountability long before it was widely accepted. Their courage laid the foundation for the advocacy work people like me are stepping into today.

Another talk that really stood out to me was by Jackson Katz. His TED Talk challenged the idea that violence against women is only a "women’s issue." He made it clear that it’s a men’s issue too—because men are often the perpetrators, and because silence from bystanders enables abuse. His words stayed with me. He said that real change will only come when more men choose to speak out, take responsibility, and become part of the solution. It made me reflect deeply on the kind of advocate I want to be—not just someone who supports survivors, but someone who also educates others and helps shift the culture.

As I moved through the training, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own personal journey. In 2017, I reached one of the lowest and angriest points of my life. I was overwhelmed, confused, and carrying a lot of pain I didn’t fully understand. That’s when I started therapy. I didn’t go into therapy knowing exactly what I needed. I just knew something had to change.

Through those sessions, I uncovered a lot about myself—especially the anger I was holding onto. I discovered that beneath that anger was a deep well of guilt and self-blame. I had been punishing myself for things that were never my fault. Therapy taught me how to be kinder to myself, how to see my experiences more clearly, and how to begin the slow process of healing.

Starting this training with STAR® feels like a continuation of that healing. But it also feels like something more. It’s a way for me to give back, to support others, and to stand up for those who haven’t yet found their voice. It’s not easy to face these topics head-on. Talking about sexual violence, abuse, and trauma isn’t light work. But it’s necessary work. And I feel ready to do my part.

I know that advocacy won’t always be easy. There will be moments that are emotionally heavy and times when I feel overwhelmed. But I also know that this work matters. Every survivor deserves to be heard, believed, and supported. And if I can help even one person feel less alone, then this journey will be worth it.

What I’ve realized over time is that growth doesn’t always come from peaceful places. Sometimes it begins in the middle of the storm. We don’t choose when we hurt, but we can choose how we heal. For me, this training is a powerful step toward healing—not just for myself, but for others, too.

The road ahead might be long, but I feel grounded in purpose. I feel a sense of clarity that I haven’t felt in a long time. I’m learning. I’m growing. And I’m showing up—not despite the hard times, but because of them.