Solving the Equation

Parenting is a significant responsibility. Some parents view their children as a scapegoat. There are also some questionable situations. Children aren't for sale and they can't be returned.

Children don’t choose their parents. This is something people need to realize. We often say that we wish we could choose our parents. Given the opportunity, some of us would choose a family that was rich. Big mistake. Choosing a wealthy family has no benefit. You know why? Just because a family is rich does not mean there are no issues. ALL families have issues.

Many of us feel this way because we had abusive parents. Whether it was our mother or father, it happened. It doesn’t matter what type of abuse it was; it happened. We may resent the other parent because we felt like they should have protected us. But if it was a single parent situation, we resent that parent. It’s confusing as a child and as an adult, it takes its toll.

When that child becomes an adult, the parent always has an excuse: I was on drugs, I was an alcoholic or I didn’t know I had a problem. Well…. why didn’t you take the time to seek help? Oops, did I say that out loud?

The first time you strike a child, it’s a clear indication that you have an issue and its not with that child. Its because you never faced your own inner demons, so the child suffers. I’m sorry ya’ll, I had to bring it to light because its true. Let me change the subject now.

Let’s talk about those questionable situations.

Dating a person with children is not an easy situation. The children come first. It doesn’t matter how you feel or what you think. But this is question: are they still dealing with the baby moma/baby daddy?

That’s the question you worry about. If so, that’s when you have a decision to make. Only you can make that decision. Other will try to make it for you; but its up to you. And don’t be influenced by others about your life. That’s a giant mistake.

Now on to questionable situation number two. If a man and woman are married, he has an affair and gets another woman pregnant, what’s the reaction? Typical woman answer: divorce. That’s a 95% answer.

The other 5% will try to re-kindle the marriage and accept the child. That’s because they want things to work and they are willing to accept the child. We call them stupid; but they have a heart. They know that even though the child is the result of an affair, the child still needs support and love.

Last questionable situation. A man and his baby moma have a child together. If they aren’t together but she gets pregnant by another man that leaves, is he stupid for raising the other man’s child? Tough question. 95% of men say stupid, dumb, some words I won’t repeat. Me: everyone makes their own decisions.

If they already have a child together, this child is going to need love and support just like the other child. So, why abandon her? She has your child. That’s the idiot move. You have a child together but you are gonna leave them both? That’s not logical. All you can do is move forward.

This story comes from a personal standpoint. Life is all about decisions. We have our own to make. So, I’m sure that I have rattled a few cages by now. But I’m just bringing to light what people sweep under the rug. That’s the problem today; no one wants to talk about the real things in life. So, if my stats drop, oh well.

To end my story, I say this: Parenting is complex, it’s not cut and paste. Make every moment count; there is no time to waste.