Simplifying your way to Happiness

I thought I knew what happiness was at one time. Or at least I thought I did. Everyone says happiness is when you come to peace for who you are and it’s inside of you. It’s this individualizing of everything. So years ago, I was the queen of self actualization. I always had these feats of greatness? Never run a marathon? Ok, watch me do it. No one in the family went to college. Ok - well I will show you how.

I used to think I knew what abundance was. If I worked hard, I got more.

But a funny thing happened over the past few years. I lost everything.

I mean really legit lost everything. I was married, had this big beautiful house, had a dream job. And I was really sad.

I was sad because I felt lost in my marriage. I knew we didn’t really love each other, but we kept this charade going. I never felt comfortable in the house. And the job. So stressful. So I dug in, kept working. Kept trying. The more effort you put in the more effort you get out right? The more you have.

And then one day, I let go.

And slowly the pieces of my life fell away and shattered. I got divorced. Had to sell the house. Got laid off from that job.

And you would think once I rebuilt something out of that, more came down my path. I broke hearts, my mother passed away, I ended up in debt. Then the pandemic came and it was like it was ripping literally everything from me.

So I retired to my small house, with my less than exciting job, in my less than exciting place with my daughter. We lived quietly for many months. Then I started to see where all my money was going. It was being spent at the yoga studio, to do my nails, going out to drink wine. It was replaced with a simple lifestyle.

Then one day, I saw a friend of mine post a free couch on Facebook. Said it was this Buy Nothing group. I was like, I have to be part of this.

This Buy Nothing group kind of changed my life. Yes, they provided the Christmas gifts last year, I clothe my daughter and myself with clothes from buy nothing. I got food. When my basement flooded, I had people come over almost in an instant with dehumidifiers, wet dry vacs.

I started working really hard at my less then interesting job. In fact, I worked so hard, it became interesting.

Then I started redoing my basement with the help of buy nothing and used things. I created an in law down there. I started to make my house beautiful with abundance from the community. I gave away what I didn’t need and got what I needed instead. I started leasing my in law. Now I have income coming in as I started letting traveling nurses stay.

I got a raise at my job. I started to have a great relationship with my child. We started writing. I started seriously rethinking my finances. I cut lots of clutter out and really simplified my budget. That allowed me to get myself out of debt. I started focusing on the relationships in my life that brought me joy. And I started giving to those relationships. I started to cut out what made me feel bad about myself. When my ex husband would put me down I walk away. I realize whatever failed in my marriage is not just my fault. I can learn lessons and I can move on. I have humans all around me who are kind and good.

But a strange thing happened as I minimized and stop escaping from my problems, I started to find joy. Joy in my home, joy in what I did and joy in the people around me.

And joy comes from a bit when you give yourself permission to just have it. To relish the silence and not buy in frantically to the stress and trauma that we have created by an all consuming society. Where ever you are at in your journey, you can make it simple. And with the simplicity there is guaranteed to be peace. And peace brings joy. Joy is happiness. These things are all connected.

So what do I say now to someone who asked what is happiness? I say well it’s simply a state of mind. But there are more in those words. You must create it for yourself and bring happiness and joy to others.