Silver Lining

Sometimes you just get stuck. In life, in everything. Currently, I am stuck with my writing. I am in the process of writing this book, chapter by chapter. So much of what I need to write is painful, and I know I need to write it. But I can’t write it out of order. At least, I am struggling with not writing it out of order. There are so many good things, great memories that I intend to share. It just seems like I can’t write those chapters until I get this pain out. I have literally been trying for weeks to come up with the topic of my next chapter, and I haven’t found one that satisfies me.

Part of me would like to think this is because I am at peace with my life right now. I feel so relaxed, and so calm. My life is a complete flaming trainwreck right now. And I am the happiest I have been in such a long time. I am facing each day as it comes, with a positive attitude and a smile. Don’t get me wrong, there are still things that upset me. I still yell at my kids. At different times during the day I will pause and grieve for the loss of the future I imagined I would have. For a few brief moments. Then I will move on to the next thing. Because honestly, that is what you do. That is how you make it through life. You keep moving forward.

This time, these moments in my life are vital. All moments are. You must suffer and feel pain to truly appreciate the joy and happiness that can exist in life. For me, when I say that they are vital, I mean it. To me, this is do or die time. Last time I was in a similar situation, I caved in and fell apart. For months I drifted along, miserable and crying. Wanting to die. Not seeing any value in my life or what I could bring to others. But now, this time, I am moving forward with purpose. I am staying positive, alert, and aware that I am building the life that I deserve. That my kids deserve. I am finding joy in small things again. My heart is whole. We are going to be alright. I have already lived through hell and fought my way out of it. I can and will do it again. With a smile.

That is the value that I bring to this world. That is my message. Keep going. Smile. Find joy. No matter what life throws at you, you can make it through. If you feel alone, reach out to someone. If you feel lost, send up a signal so that you may be found. If you are angry, get that poison out and let it go. There is no point to anger. It does nothing beyond cause a slew of emotions and actions that are pointless. Move past it, in whatever way you can. If you are afraid, face it. If you grieve, process it and remember that the reason you grieve was because you were blessed to love so deeply. It is as simple as all these things, though when you are in them, they seem insurmountable. My message, what I have to offer, is hope. Keep your chin up and walk forward. It will get better. You are stronger than you know, and more powerful than you could imagine.

Simple mindset, that will make all the difference. Decide that it is enough, and you will move past. It isn’t perfect, you will backslide. Don’t let it get you down. Everyone struggles to be positive all the time. That is human nature. What I am saying is don’t stay there. Do not let the bad swallow you. Do whatever you have to do to keep a silver lining. Because there is always a silver lining. You simply need to find it. In my darkest days, in the middle of a breakdown, I struggle to remember it. But I find it eventually and pull myself out. The amount of strength that takes is huge. You may think that you don’t have it. But you do, I promise. A good start is simply remembering the good things in life. Your family, your friends, your children, your job, the sunrise, a favorite season, vehicles, working out... somewhere, there is something good to focus on. Focus on the good, and the good will come. Focus on the bad, and the bad will come.

Be what you want to be. I would never presume that everyone can let go of the things that bring them down. Everyone decides how they want to feel. What I try to do is make sure that people know they have that choice, and to try to show them how to improve the way they feel. I may not have all the answers, I can’t solve the problems of others. But I certainly can share how I solve my problems. I can do my best to show you the way. It isn’t perfect, and it only works if you let it. You must be willing to constantly work on your mental attitude. The only way things get better and stay better is with constant conscious effort for them to be better. It isn’t complicated. Sometimes it’s hard, but never complicated. You just need to put the effort in.

My wish for everyone is that they can live a life that they enjoy. Be happy, be free. Kick up your heels but don’t lose sight of your responsibilities. Find a passion and thrive in it. Be a good friend, a good person. Help others when you can. Live a life that you are proud of. But most of all, remember that even in the darkest of dark days, the sun will shine again. You just have to weather the storm first.