self-love

In the time where there is so much chaos and effery - I want to spend this time to share the love and light within to the outside.

||: Self LOVE

Self-love is NOT selfish. - I use to hate myself. I was insecure and I felt that I was unworthy. It's been almost a year since I decided to go back to therapy. I'm sharing this because self-hatred isn't the way to live a fulling life.

Loving yourself in the world where we were taught to compare our self and put others needs before ours. For some, they don't know how to love themselves because they've spent their entire life hating or knowing a facade of love. Loving, supporting and having faith in yourself is a must. Loving yourself can be difficult, yes but it's worth it. The empowering part of self-love is seeing it for the first for yourself. Realising that you are worthy of love and not just from others but from yourself.

Investing in yourself is the best thing you could do.

Find things you enjoy just for you. Simple as listening to music to sculpturing a face on a mountain.

Having faith in our self comes with self-love. We have to trust and believe to love our self. -- If you can believe in your friend you can believe in yourself.

See your worth for who it has always been which was MORE THAN ENOUGH. You are more than enough. You are worthy.

We are cable of creating our own heaven on Earth.

Facing your shadow self or aspect of yourself you have shamed and repressed, should come from love, light, compassion and empathy. - Having to come to an understanding of how our past self, 'mistakes', 'regrets', 'failures' etc. are just lesson and foundation to where we are going.

It might be hard to see the bigger picture as there so much movement in the water. Wait, till everything and everyone has calm. Including yourself. //

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self-love practises: [ ALTER & MOULD FOR YOUR LIKING/SUITING]

i. Warm bath or shower

ii. Sleeping in

iii. Taking time to understand yourself

iv. Cooking or ordering favourite food

v. Listening to music, to watching your favourite movies/TV series

vi. Walking/hanging out with your pet

vii. Moving your body - something you enjoy (etc: gym, home workout, a walk outside)

viii. Doing something YOU enjoy (etc: seeing a favourite band, visiting an art gallery, the beach or attending/trying a new class.

Self-love requires being uncomfortable. We are going to places we haven't visited before. It is okay to feel shaky up and nerve-racking. BUT have faith that you will find the Love within yourself. Like the Love, I have for Harry Styles.

We are attending territories that we haven't looked at for a while have been avoiding. -

Being in a relationship where you are making your decision base on your insecurities is toxic. I have been at both of these ends. Where I was projecting my insecurities from within to my external relationship and other time I was receiving their projections of insecurities. Either end is not a fun place to be in.

Insecurity is something nobody is able to take away from you. It is also something that everyone goes through or has gone through. There are always going to be things we won't like about ourselves but there is another side to the coin. It is also good within us. We all have beauty within and it is up to us to find it.

Insecurities aren't something to shame or to feel guilty about. Never beat yourself up for having insecurities. AS no human is ever perfect.

Many of my actions were based on my insecurities. It doesn’t matter what ingredients you have for your insecurity if self-sabotage is the place you end up. Self-love is the path I took.

Self-sabotage comes from not feeling good enough or worthy. These are rooted within your ingredients of insecurities. They could be impulsive. They could root from anxiety. You have to be aware of your self sabotaging behaviours. It’s also includes gas-lighting yourself. That’s when you downplay or water down what is actually going on. Whether it is good or bad.

// SELF LOVE IS THE ANSWER

||: Anxiety

One of the symptoms of anxiety is when someone begins to start avoiding things like seeing friends, turning up to appointments or simple as self-care. Anxiety makes you feel like you are going to miss out but you also dread the feeling of failure. So avoid or never begin that thing.

This sense of feeling like a failure is false. Failure isn’t something to fear. Failures are an opportunity to learn and a new direction to something better suited for you. Sometimes during the moment of the failure, we don’t see the blessing within it. It is sometimes a little harder to find, meaning that’s a blessing is a lot bigger than expected.

It is okay not to have all the answers right now. Not many do, anyways.

Ways i Manage anxiety: [ ALTER & MOULD FOR YOUR LIKING/SUITING]

1) Listen to music - (Playlists: 'Liked Songs', 'ganggang', 'dance')

2) Doodle, Sketch, Paint

3) MEDITATE

4) Sleep, Nap

5) Call my therapist

6) Play, Cuddle, Lay with the cats

7) Watch: The Office, Community, Parks and Recreations OR Bob Burgers plus snacks.

8) I gather up my courage to face/do that thing I've been avoiding.

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Reminders to swear BY:

1. THERE WILL NEVER EVER BE A TIME WHERE I CAN/HAVE THE CONTROL OVER ANOTHER PERSON'S BEHAVIOUR, PERCEPTION, REACTION.

2. Others actions are a reflection of how they see themselves.

3. Hatred isn't personal. It's a projection.

4. Not everyone will like you. That's something that was difficult to come to terms. - I realised being a people pleaser isn't normal and trying to be perfect is a tiring job.

5. A relationship DOES NOT go/should be on measuring your worth. It never belonged there. Never has and never will. - Only you are able to define your worth!

6. Nobody is able to measure or define YOUR healing process. Healing is only done by you for you.

7. This is not a competition. There is no need to compete with others. - We should only admire what others are doing and not take tallies. -

8. There will always good and bad around us. WE have the choice to look at either. - Pick wisely.

Projection:

For some, it’s hard to go within them, maybe because of the experiences. Or they are not ready to confront it yet. That’s okay.

My own projections came from my insecurities and hatred I had for myself, which harmed others around me. My pride, ego and own selfish desires got in the way of love.

— I do apologise to people that I have harmed along the way. Although with the information I know now, they came from ignorance, insecurity, self-hatred. -

Being in a relationship doesn't mean you are there to fix them. In the context of relationships with Love; you have to take them as they are although, it has to be for the better good. Not just for you but for each other. The present and future relationship/partnership.

Changing out pattern thoughts.

Negative self-talk can be hard to stop. Remembering that negative self-talk is just thoughts. Thoughts are facts.

Catching when you have these types of self-talk it is important to PAUSE and OBSERVE the thought.

It is important to distinguish and label either the thought is facts, anxiety, or assumptions etc.

Like any new habit, it can be draining and exhausting. There are times where a slip might happen. - Pausing and observing how our self-talk is important. - You practise being open to compassion, empathy towards yourself. You are learning.

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things I have been enjoying since I've dated myself.

1. MY own bed space. I personally like sleeping one side and then I'd get hot during the night. I'd roll over to the other side where it's nice and cold. and repeat through the night.

2. Deciding what to eat. I don't have to compromise because I don't have to compromise with yourself in this context. Or the time I need to leave.

3. Space where I am able to heal and figure myself out. - I don't want to compromise my worth and spend my energy on someone who doesn't see that. NOBODY needs that shit. I'd rather spend my nights on my own than sleep next to someone where there is no passion. I never want to settle for just okay. No more one-sided relationships.

4. human decency is something NOBODY should have to ask for - EVERYONE IS EQUAL TO RESPECT, SAFETY, UNDERSTANDING etc.

5. Learning different types of new hobbies can be daunting. Although when I found one that I really enjoyed. I focused on that and kept building.

Love:

Loving someone comes with not wanting to change them and love them as they are. - If you truly love someone, you wouldn't want them to change. - Although on the other hand, love comes in a spectrum.

Love that comes from creating intimidation, fear, control or restrictions is not the foundation of love. - It doesn't mean there is no love within. It sometimes others can only meet you as far as they've met themselves.

Don't drop to their level and create more intimidation, fear, control or restrictions. Realise that we can control when someone is ready to change. But it doesn't mean you need to wait in the waiting room for them.

Please don't put yourself on hold because someone is not ready for much bigger love and willing to reciprocate that. -

my FAVOURITE(s) Instagram PAGE:

who promote healing, self love, and understanding

Thank you.