Rules of life

When I first sat down to write this 5 Rules for Life cover, I wrote five times "Live Without Laws", each followed by a reason to keep your lifestyle flexible.

The way you live shows a lot about where you have been, who you have been, and the beliefs you have built. Who am I to create a cookie-cutter hard-and-fast code that makes sense for everyone?

It was then that I realized that I would have to make a sixth law to present these ideas: I judge my own words, and those of another person, against your reason and code of conduct.

The Buddha said, "Do not believe anything, no matter where you study, whoever said it, no matter what I said, unless it agrees with your reason and your mind."

The Dalai Lama echoed that sentiment, saying, "The final authority must remain for personal reasons and for critical analysis."

Criticize. I invite you. These ideas help me, and they may or may not help you.

Therefore, I offer you five guidelines that have helped me feel happier, more satisfied, and more purposeful:

1. Be honest with yourself.

One of the most important skills you will learn in life is the ability to call yourself - if you play it safe because you are afraid of failure or maybe you are afraid of success, or you close your heart because you are afraid of getting hurt.

At the moment it sounds comforting. You can always do what you do and not force yourself into an unfamiliar place. But we often feel sorry for the things we did not do more than for the things we did.

Do not deceive yourself with your thoughts or motives. It may feel safe right now, but one day you will grow up regretting who you can be.

2. Acknowledge weaknesses.

I once heard that there is nothing more frightening than letting go of control. I held fast to my identity because I wanted to shape other people's feelings about myself. I had a very limited list of approved adjectives: smart, kind, talented, successful, awesome.

I don’t want to know that someone can create a different opinion about me, but it is liberating to respect where I am at any time, and let people decide for themselves what they think about it.

When you have a strong desire to be seen as a person who makes mistakes, you are, in effect, telling yourself that being human is not something to be ashamed of.

People can sometimes make judgments. But they will respect your privacy, and they can learn to let go of themselves a little bit — something that can be a great relief.

3. Live by your own standards.

Everyone has a different idea of ​​what is important and what it means to be a good person. If you try to conform your life to someone else's standards, you may feel inadequate.

If your main source of happiness is spending time with your family, would it not be logical for you to find a high-paying job that would allow you to save time?

Make a list of stones in the corner of your happiness and take a reliable list of your current status. Does it match your priorities?

4. See as much as possible in front of you.

People tend to live a life trapped in two mental states: past regret and worry about the future. Looking back on the years I have lived so far, I know that I have spent more time engaging in those activities than I really have.

Whenever I hold myself back, I look at my five senses and feel what is in front of me as fully as possible.

I can see the details. Hear the sounds. And get in a moment. I know I won’t always do this, but it adds up to creating more time to stay now.

5. Treat yourself as you would like other people to treat you.

It happens all the time. You don’t get a job, so you start reviewing all your failures. You hurt your friend, so you start beating yourself up.