Rest, Resolutions and Renewal

1. Saying Goodbye to the past.

The past two years have been something else, haven’t they? I am sure I am not alone in saying that these were some of the most reflective, tough, sad and heavy years that I have ever experienced. On the flip side however, they have also been some of the biggest years for growth I have ever experienced as well. Dealing with Covid and evaluating what’s important, what really matters and what was simply surface validation has caused a major shift in me. I began to transform from a stressed out corporate drone that felt stifled with a burning desire to honor myself, to someone giving into that desire to be more creative. To live as my full self. To be more authentically me and to relax. What started as a whisper became a roaring yell. I could no longer ignore evaluating the way in which I had come to work and exist. The constant insomnia from stress, the terrible dreams of numbers and statistics and the worst of all, the incessant corporate jargon! Similar to the excitement and anticipation that I feel at the beginning of a new year, I knew it was time for a change!

2. The spark of something new

After taking on another corporate position that made it glaringly clear how unhappy with the production and assembly line-based work style I was used to, I decided to take a risk and bet on myself. I lit a match and set ablaze the world and life I once knew. I followed those embers like they were beacons of light, guiding me to become more of myself not only internally, but externally too. I took some much needed time to rest (what?!?) and sleep (..so that’s what this feels like!), and reflect on myself and what I wanted to accomplish this year. My 2022 resolutions, my vows to myself and this next year are as follows:

3. The beautiful year ahead!

I vow to do something active every day.

In the past it was always a goal to go to the gym, exercise for x amount of hours or do (insert activity) 5-6 times a week. Well, with the uncertainty of the pandemic and with witnessing far too many people not cleaning the gym equipment after using it, I decided to find alternative ways to stay active in my area. I have discovered the joys of VR gaming. I can shadow box and really feel the burn or I can also dive into dance and music based games that are fun but also keep you fit. I also love taking a long walk in nature and seeing the open-aired beauty of my city, something I didn’t get to experience in the gym. I have also incorporated ab and arm exercises from home. Vowing to get my body moving daily is something I can commit to and reminds me that I am more than one exercise, one style or one routine. I can use all of the routines or none at all. I can create a new routine that is uniquely my own.

I vow to live from a deeper, open-hearted space.

This one is tricky and is a little harder to put into words. Coming from a high achieving (highly anxious), working mentality slowly began to take its toll on my mental health. Sometimes the work tasks overtook the importance of life. The moments in between work were just a means to an end in my warped state of mind. The text I needed to send, the call I needed to return or other life situations became mere assignments on the assembly line to my work priorities. Only on the much anticipated weekend, when my world paused and i was able to hit reset, I could appreciate my life more often. But why only on the weekends? Why only on holidays or heaven forbid, if something tragic happened? Life truly is short and if these past couple of years have taught me anything, it’s that we never know what the future holds. I have determined that having ambition and achieving is important to me, but feeling centered and connected to myself and my world is too. Loving, seeing the world and communicating with those in my life that I love brings me the greatest joy. Being connected and centered to my heart is a blessing I don't ever want to lose again. I vow to live from this open-hearted and present place.

I vow to be more creative and let my authenticity shine.

I have always been an artist inside. I love to express myself whether it be through song, writing, strange voices to make my friends laugh or just the way I show up in the world with my style. It became easy to stifle my creativity and forget the importance of it while my life was far too rigid and stressful. I think there’s a balance to this. I have discovered that prioritizing my creativity and working at bringing it to life fuels my soul. Putting my creativity at the forefront excites me, pushes me, and leaves me optimistic about what I may accomplish. Creativity is the spirit of life and with so many stories to tell, ways to express and emotions to feel, it would be a shame not to try to share after these crazy years we have all survived. My creativity is my spirit speaking, my guiding light, my voice made clear. I promise to use it to help others and also to help myself remain true.

I vow to prioritize meditation and the great S…sleep!

These two can really be two separate books, but i can condense them here presently. It wasn’t until I was so sleep deprived and exhausted that I discovered how amazing meditation was. After trying different types of meditation i have discovered that they all tap into the same core mission: to reset and give your mind and thoughts a much needed pause. Whether you listen to a guided meditation to help ease you to sleep or whether you take what I call “meditation naps”, 15-20 minutes where I lie on the floor and either nap or fall into a meditative state, calming and quieting the mind can really do wonders. Whether I take a moment to meditate, nap or still the mind, a burst of energy as well as clarity comes forth. It is so important and wonderful to experience, and that reset really does come. Even if I have another busy and hectic year, I know I will face it with a clarity and calm that I have never experienced before, simply from the beautiful wisdom that mediation brings.

In addition to meditating, getting adequate sleep was something I didn’t truly know I had control over. During the the start of the pandemic and especially last year, I had experienced some of the worst sleep in my life. On average I would get 5-6 hours of sleep, and even that was an optimistic stretch. One day of this was ok, two days became trying, and three I might cry at the sound of the phone ringing or of being asked too many questions (kidding, but not). There’s only so much coffee and tea and crying you can do until enough is enough. Prioritizing at least 7 hours of sleep (or 8-10, even better!) is so important because it’s like another reset needed to relax. Tying back into meditation, listening to a guided session before bed was the secret weapon i didn't know I needed. It has provided me with the best sleep of my life. I, like many others, am someone that has moments of anxiety and depression. I never realized how much of that for me was caused by my lack of sleep. Or more importantly, how those symptoms can feel the same when I am sleep deprived. I will no longer put my rest on the bottom of my priorities list. After I experienced a great night’s sleep, it became the lucky pot of gold that i am willing to search for every night.

4. Here’s to you, 2022!

By taking these four vows and implementing them, I know this next year will look very different than previous years I have experienced. Whether the pandemic improves (which I hope it does) or whether there is more time inside, by working at these resolutions and vows I know I will have an optimistic and heart felt year. I know I can tackle anything that comes my way, from a rested, active and peaceful place. I know that we all can.

Here’s to the year ahead! Let’s tackle our goals and dreams from a rested, relaxed, authentic and kinder place. I look forward to going on this journey and I know things can only be better than they were before.