Remember you.

I hope to inspire others to choose themselves, to help others see that the light we find ourselves searching for is within us, we ARE powerful and when we realise our own power and start loving ourselves is when we understand the incredible gift life itself is.

It is our birthright to breathe in peace knowing that all IS well. Fear is something that we are often controlled by within this society, but it is not something that we should let control us or shape us, we deserve to truly grow untamed and untouched.

Look to nature for guidance.

It's safe and okay to begin healing, see this message as your permission slip or a sign to begin the journey of unravelling and discovering you. You are never alone and I am routing for YOU.

Let's begin, I was pulled inward, I knew that a part of myself needed and wanted to write these next words. I was sat in the car waiting for my partner to finish loading the amazon boxes, we caught a last minute delivery, whizzed up a blueberry and banana smoothie, grabbed a few nut bars, banana, an apple and headed off in the car. We were set for a three hour block, the sun was loud and the sky was clear, it was a beautiful day to be outside and I felt good. I reached for my phone on auto pilot, but I didn't know what I was using it for, I clicked open my writing app and began to write a draft, it went a little like this;

I'm not sure what I'm about to write but something in me pulled me into these words, into this exact moment. It's as if I've been floating quietly beneath a surface of water, I felt it flowing beneath me as if It were really my entire life melting off of me, this feeling remained for a couple of seconds and then my mind drifts to a moment where my face slowly pierces through the calm stillness of the water surrounding me. My nose was the first to feel the fresh air, I slowly edged my eyes open intrigued to what I'd see, the image isn't so clear here but I can make out an ocean for miles and rolling mountains surround me on my right side, then to my left is everything I left behind during my experience underneath the water, but it looks similar to dark brown roots scattered across the ocean floor, I realise in this current moment that I had let go of myself, not just a fragment of myself, or my past pain, but everything I had ever known, another re-birth.

The water surrounding me didn't have a temperature, It felt as though silk was dancing on my skin, as though my body was undergoing some sort of angelic bath, the ocean was barely rippling when I rose to the surface. I pulled my ribs in trying to create a pool for water to bathe in, I breathed in softly making sure to fill my entire body, then I exhaled deeply as I realised I had been released from everything beneath me. Through these next breaths I start to feel inside my body again, I remember I have toes that can wiggle and a voice that deserves to be heard.

My imagery lessened and I began to focus more on these words and what I was writing, in a way it's as if I had remembered my whole self, my higher self is no longer a separation or something i'm aching to reach.

I am my higher self, I am my own wisdom, I am the light. ( say this back to yourself)

I have rediscovered the power within me, the flame inside was just waiting for the divine time to ignite and grow higher. I can breathe. and that is enough.

I am alive. I not only honour and love my human self, but I hold patience for her, I understand there is so much wisdom to be learnt from her wild ride with life so far.

Living isn't about following society's rules, society can feel like a form of slavery, it keeps us in fear and stops us from recognising our power. I hope and pray for every human soul to understand that they do not need to be a part of the matrix.

It is brave and safe to step out of what you have been taught, self love isn't a negative practice, believing in yourself should NEVER be looked down on, choosing to grab life with both of your hands and cling to it until you realise that YOU ARE LIFE ITSELF is a beautiful unfolding intense process that every one of us deserves to experience, in loving ourselves exactly as we are, unconditionally in every moment, in every phase, and every now, we discover that we are our own creator and there is more power inside of us than there is in anything outside of ourselves. We unlock this portal of peace and realise ' the bigger picture' is actually about YOU. This life is yours, you are deserving of loving living it.

YOU ARE LIFE ITSELF, say that back to yourself, recognise your human form, feel your potential, seek your own inner wisdom.

Celebrate you, remember you.

remember you,

remember you.

If you are afraid of what others will think of you so boldly choosing yourself, please remember to breathe, whisper in your mind that you love yourself over and over again until you remember why you chose this journey of getting to know yourself with love in the first place. Hold on to this message and these words, I am a soul who genuinely cares for yours, you are not alone in this self discovery, you are powerful and you are held.

I wish I could give you a glimpse of just how incredible you are, please trust these words and me when I say that one day you will see. One day you will know your own fucking beauty, I don't mean what you look like although you look incredible, I mean your heart, I mean what's inside, I mean your mind and the life behind your eyes. You will see it all, you will see it, feel it and be it. I promise that choosing/loving/honouring yourself will be the best thing you will ever do. You are unlocking your very own medicine, you are your own healer, I believe in you, choose to believe in you too.

Take of that buckle, live life without the seat belt that only contains you in fear, open yourself to the endless opportunities that are waiting for you when you commit to YOU.

No it's not easy, it won't happen overnight, there might never be a eureka moment, there will be tears of all kinds, you will have to work hard on loving yourself, and make it your top priority. No it's not easy, but every moment spent consciously choosing you is and will be worth it. My goodness sometimes I wake up and I want to shut my eyes back together so tightly because it takes hard work and discipline to plough through all that needs healing within. You are a light, don't be afraid of owning that light and sharing it, the whole world deserves your sunshine, you deserve your own sunshine.

There will be rain, but you will grow more than flowers.

Remember you.

Commit to you.

Choose you.

I'm with you every step of the way, so please if you haven't already, take the first step today, whisper I LOVE YOU to yourself, recognise the skin that holds you, see the body that you exist within, look into your own eyes, give yourself a 30 second hug. Hold your own hand, there is no better love than the love we can give ourselves.

Choose love.

Choose you.

I'm sharing my voice and experience in hope that this message will reach the person who needs to hear it, in hope of helping someone. I used to feel as though I was a fish in a ocean full of dolphins, I felt so different to every person I knew, I didn't know who I was for a long time but this was because I was afraid to get to know her, I was scared of who I might have found, only now I realise it is a blessing to have discovered myself the way I have and continue to.

Gosh did I ever think living could feel like this, I used to dream of what it might be like to be able to love myself, for years it seemed out of the question, I could barely get through a day without wanting to tear my own skin off my body, all I knew for a long time was how to criticise and doubt myself, my own body repulsed me and if I saw my reflection I'd want to curl up into a ball and disintegrate into the ground below me. I spent months starving myself of everything a human and soul need to survive let alone live, I starved my body for months and things were so out of control that I resulted in not being able to walk for a couple of weeks or so. I have attempted suicide multiple times and I tried to count the scars on my body once, but when I got to 150 I stopped counting because I had only counted one arm and I couldn't bare the shame. I have spent a total of 20 months in hospital, the majority of this time I was so consumed by my own darkness that I lived for self destruction or the opportunity to no longer exist, I didn't have a reason to exist, and I'm not sure I knew what it was to feel alive until I was 19. The point of me sharing this with you is not so you feel sorry for me, but so that you understand it is possible to love yourself, it is possible to feel alive, it is possible to live a life that feels good to wake up for.

It is possible for you to heal, it is safe to heal, to move on, move forward. I hope that I can be of inspiration for those that need it, for those that don't even know how or where to start, for those that cringe or laugh at the thought of loving themselves because it seems so out of reach. If you're reading this and you feel like this person is you, it's okay, you are so necessary and so worthy of living this life for yourself, take the first step or leap today and please just give yourself a hug, tell your reflection you love her/him, your future self will thank you.

For those reading this who have already taken that first step of journeying home into your own love, for choosing yourself, for acknowledging and seeing everything you are and everything you've been, I am so proud of you, I celebrate you, and I hope you know just how incredibly brave you are for stepping out of the matrix and into yourself.

Dear whoever you are reading this, thank you for taking your time to, I know It's been a long one, but something in me needed to share this message with YOU. Please pass this on to anyone you think it might help.

You are never alone, send me a message if you have any questions or if you want to talk, I am here walking with you, embrace this life, embrace you and remember you.

I realised it wasn't so bad being a fish after all, and in fact it made me, me.

p.s

If you'd like to hear more about my time in Buda-Pest let me know, it was a time of healing and discovery for me, I let go of A LOT and gained so much through learning and growing. I started walking home to myself there.