Passion

Lately, the word passion seems to keep getting lost into the abyss of depression. Not by choice, but more because of everyday struggles of life for me. Just about two months ago, an idea had occurred to me that I do not deserve to continue to get wrapped up into the corporate world of Walgreens. With the pandemic passing by us and all the stresses that it had brought upon me was just a lot. The need of trying to become more and to attempt to live life to it fullest has been constantly ticking on my mind. So, there it was, a time I decided to put my two weeks in after six long years. It was the perfect time to take a risk!

The image above is a time, and a place where I started to come up with my idea's based around my passion. This was shot off of my camera during a trip my first ever trip to Lake Tahoe. The water was so translucent that you can see all the rocks and sand on the bottom. The color was the bluest of blues I have ever seen! This body of water was the most marvelous ever. This gave me the motivation to want to do so much more with my life that has always been expected of me.

This expectation was driven by my family and I while growing up. The love and passion of baseball was my whole life. This would mean hours of research on mechanics. Even more hours of training with different coaches. By time high school came around, I was already pitching 90 mph. The high school coaches all loved me and thought I was the next greatest player to make it. That was so until the day my arm gave out on me and the amount of agony it would cause me. From that point on, the lowest points of my life came around. The idea of being useful went down to useless really quick.

My discovery of the arts of life came around by the conclusion of high school. Poetry, writing, and music to name a few. That is when I realized that the odd person out of everything was me. After high school, the need to just get away from everything was more pronounced in my head. Until I had an absolute need to get away, that is when I move back to Chicago to live with my family. That was the point and time I had to find myself again. Rediscover the arts of life of the city and not a small town in Arizona. Discover how to be the hard worker everyone in my family has always been.

Loneliness was becoming very dominant in my life. Go to work, get home, play games and go to sleep. Eventually this is where the existence of art passion would be found. Music really played a key role into making me get through day by day. At that point and time though it was a lot of heavy metal music. The fascination of the different screams tied in with insane singing talents, different background music, the sound of a few eight string guitars grudging around a double bass drum kit. The kind of insanity that satisfied my cravings of feeling alive.

By making me feel alive again, after a long year. My adventure to be able to explore the city was not as buried by anxiety anymore. The art museum, the art work, the street artists, massive buildings and the best of all... AMAZING FOOD!! This was a time of rediscovering the love of sports. Especially going back to Wrigley Field where my true love of baseball started. At this moment was a great time to get back into photography.

The ability to capture a time and a place with a single image is still one of the greatest discoveries of all time. The type of art that can be created from those single images. It is astonishing every time it comes to my mind. The Earth we all live on has such beauty even during times of anger. The scenery that can be created in just one shot. Just incredible! But, why stop there?

That is when the thought appeared in my head, why not just try to go for it all. Why not try to live the dream. Not a big house, not incredible items to just show off to the world. The dream of just exploring. The dream of being a part of something more satisfying than yourself. My passions of art and music have brought me to this point. A point of trying to walk across floor with gorilla glue on it. My first attempt was to try to create a new unique clothing line to supply funds to make these dreams happen. After lighting my savings up into flames, I've hit a massive brick wall.

The ability to learn everything, music, art, designing, photography would be priceless. The ability to travel and meet new people with the same love would be amazing. To experience the unknown, to just live life to the fullest. To not let my autoimmune disease, get the best of me. Honestly, words do not come to mind on how that would feel. All of that would be everything. The beauty that is out there to learn and to capture and discover would just be insane. On top of that learning all of these skills to put figure out how to express the vast number of ideas that go through my head. There is so much potential out there. So much love that is out there. I just need the help to find it!