New Year, New Projects, Neverchangeable

The first three characters of this story were introduced to me while working a late-night shift alone, at my job at the local dispensary. These characters came in the form of a short, off-handed comment from a customer: "People never change."

It isn’t a new sentiment but something about the way he said it stuck with me. Enough to still be working on a story based off that sentiment nearly a year later. I wanted to explore the texture of that statement, its implications and echoes. Could “never changing” have a positive meaning? Could it refer to something generational, cyclical even, whether good or bad?

As I began writing, my characters left me with more questions than answers. I submitted some of Neverchangeable to Vocal’s Critique community and crossed my fingers that some kind souls would guide me in the right direction. One “neverchangeable” aspect I love about Vocal is the platform’s sense of community and I trusted there would be a voice or two there to help me catch what I was missing. Sure enough, the feedback I received on Vocal was exactly what I needed. Certain truths about my characters I’d been avoiding were made clear to me; it was evident there was a difference in the direction my story was trying to go and the direction I was trying to take it.

I went back to the story board and stared at the page as if I could intimidate the words into working for me. The truth of the matter was I had to go backwards if I wanted to figure out where my problem was. I had just started this story, though; there wasn’t all that much to “go backwards and edit” yet... was there?

There was.

It was the structure that was suffocating this story. I kept trying to cram these characters into a tightly-wound short fiction. Really what they needed were chapters, some space to stretch out and breathe. I slowed down while writing. I dove into some of the details and layers I would otherwise have clipped. I explored side stories and characters and reveled in delight as they staked their claims in ways I hadn’t predicted. Finally, I had to stop morally policing my characters. I released my story from its genre; this was not a realistic short fiction as I had originally thought, but a horror story with chapters and a main character that was actually the bad guy.

Once I accepted these aspects about Neverchangeable that refused to change, the words flowed easily. I had finally stopped interrupting my characters with shortened paragraphs long enough to hear what they had to say.

I’m still unsure whether or not this story will be a novel or a novella, but I’m letting my characters guide me. Until then, I’ve decided to launch these chapters as a bit of a series on Vocal. One of my favorite reading experiences on Vocal was reading Suze Kay’s chapter series, Women Who Stay. I found it so fun to cozy up in bed after a long day, log on to Vocal from my phone, and devour a few chapters before nodding off to bed. For me, it was the perfect replacement to my mind-numbing scrolling at night. That was the moment I knew I wanted to eventually write for Vocal’s Chapters community. When I realized Neverchangeable was going to be longer than a single short story, I decided Vocal was where I wanted its chapters to live. I also knew though, that I wanted to finish writing a few chapters before publishing them. I made myself write and wait. One of the biggest lessons the experience of writing Neverchangeable has taught me is that not every story is a short one, and so not writing every story will be a short process.

With this in mind, I’m excited to take this upcoming year and dedicate it to giving my characters more space when they need it. I would love to see more writers join Vocal’s Chapters community this year also, especially with the last years’ romantasy genre boom inspiring so many new online readers and writers who are looking for new stories and places to home their own. Platforms like Youtube and Instagram are ones I often forget to use as a creator however, I think expanding to them and cross-integrating creative projects and promos will not only bring more creators to the platform, but will add a new layer of fun to the creation process.

In the meantime, on Vocal, I’m looking forward to continuing to practice my craft. My goal is to try and write something every day without worrying if it’s a masterpiece. There are two guidelines for these posts: does the post provide something to my reader (entertainment, positivity, information, etc.) and do I have fun writing it? These guidelines are simple and remind me of the contribution I want to have to the internet as a creative while also taking some of the self-imposed pressure off myself. Not everything needs to be a masterpiece, but nothing will ever be a masterpiece without practice, consistency, and love for the journey.

Between Neverchangeable, book reviews, Vision Board Poems, and Vocal challenges, I feel confident that this year will be one full of writing. Like my characters, I’ve learned I need room to tell my stories, even to myself. My quality of life improves when stories are part of it. Some things in life really are “neverchangeable” like writers’ need to write.

I’ve learned that when I’m struggling to go forwards, sometimes it’s best to look back, not just in editing but in life too. When I looked back on my years writing on Vocal, it became clearer to me why I kept falling off track. I tried to constrain myself based off the “perfection” I wanted to achieve and as a result I started to feel inauthentic. The more pressure I would put on myself to “do better” this time, the quicker I would burn out. When I focus on listening to my characters, sharing what brings me joy, and playing with craft instead of perfecting craft, possibilities open up and it becomes easier to practice consistency.

I remind myself this is the fun part: the writing. Everything else after, the publishing, the social media, the marketing, is the business side that comes next. Writing is the part little me signed up for when she declared she wanted to be a writer all those years ago because she so desperately loved being a reader. It’s that same part that has made me keep declaring I want to be a writer over and over again, into adulthood. There is something magical about these lines and curves on a page that spark so much creativity and connection between us. If you’re still reading this, maybe you agree.

What “neverchangeable” aspect of yourself are you looking forward to elevating in the new year? Or, feel free to share what makes writing and reading magical to you. I would love to know in the comments!

To read the first few chapters of Neverchangeable, click the stories linked below or click on my profile and head to “Chapters” to stay up to date with my newest horror series. You can also follow @sleepydrafts on Instagram for live updates.

What stories will you weave this year?