Needs Are Essential — Wants Can Be A Liability

Listening to Selma complaining to Nora as I walk slowly behind them around the trail in the neighborhood.

“I don’t understand. How do you manage to make the right decisions most of your life?” Selma complained.

Nora stared at her, nodding then shared, “my decisions are carefully thought out. Then I make them based on what I need, not what I want.”

“Girl, you aren’t making sense,” Selma said, turning to glance at her.

“Well,” Nora began an explanation, slowing down as they reach a small pond near the trail. “My grandmother often preached, ‘what we want isn’t always what is best for us, but what we need is. So, choose your life decisions carefully,’” Nora stopped, turning to face Selma, staring into her eyes.

“That’s it,” Selma said, stopping to stare back at her.

“When you decided to move in with Tony, to save money. Didn’t I tell you that’s not what you need to do?” Nora shoved her down memory lane.

“I love that building. It’s better than the one we lived in,” she argues.

“You forget that he moved out three months later leaving you with a higher rent than the amount you ran away from?” Nora reminds her.

“You have been inside that apartment. It’s heaven,” she defends her decision. “They have everything we don’t have in our apartment that I want.”

“But we couldn’t afford it,” Nora reminds her again. “You are lucky that Linda’s mother died and she had to go back home. So, you got back your room that I had to rent to pay your share of the rent.”

Selma nods saying, “I have every damn right to do what I want. Live how I want and enjoy the life I want!”

“Nobody is taking that away from you!” Nora fires back. “But everything in life comes with a price. I don’t mind paying. But I refuse to pay for anything that doesn’t last!”

“Are you saying that the things we need last longer than the things we want?” Selma demands.

Turning to look at her, Nora quizzed, “do you really want me to take you back to the many things you waste money, time and energy on that you want that doesn’t last?”

Glaring at her in a flash of anger, Selma said, “You know I hate your elephant memory. Our needs are boring and without fun. Our wants are where the glory, fun and mystery lives.”

“But none of them last, and when they are gone or the fun runs out, your needs are there waiting like a loyal friend ready to heal, guide and protect,” Nora educates.

Silence reigns for many steps when Selma shares, “I guess I look at life different from you. You want security and it’s in our needs. Our wants often threatens the security we all want in our life’s decisions.”

“That’s what I have been trying to explain to you,” Nora said. “When I have all of what I need I am happy. I do a better job in everything I do when I am happy.”

“So, happiness is just you having all of your needs met?” Selma asked.

“That’s why I don’t have the problems you have with money, my job, anyone, or anything. Plus Needs price is cheaper than Want and last longer,” Nora said laughing.

“Damn,” Selma shares. “Now I understand. What we want comes with a higher price than what we need, and our wants sometimes becomes an expensive, but unnecessary liability!”

“Damn girl!” Nora cried in laughter. “My grandmother couldn’t have explained it better!”

“And our needs are essential for our life!” she adds. “Gosh, I can’t believe that I was so stupid. Your grandmother is right. We should focus on our needs, until we can get what we want.”

“You made my grandmother so proud,” Nora said smiling and hugging her as they both walked on.

Sometimes, what we want isn’t necessarily what is good for us. But what we need always is!

Thank you for reading this piece. I hope you enjoy it.