My Life's greatest work saved my life

My Life's greatest work saved my life.

Although I'm sure many things since I began my project have also shaped me into the person I am today, without it, would I have been here to experience them?

My name is Rebecca, most people call me Becki. I'm also known as Polar Cosplay and as silly as it sounds, my passion for cosplay projects saved my life.

This may not be the type of story, essay, submission(?) you were hoping for, but here it is:

My passion project: Survival.

In December 2011 I woke up to a call from a nurse at my local hospital telling me in a bland, emotionless voice that my mother had died.

She was 52.

At the time, taking care of my mother had been my life. I was 27, overweight, out of shape and poor. I spent all my free time either taking care of her, visiting her at the hospital after she’d been hospitalized or playing video games.

But my mother had always been encouraging and she’d always told me that when she was gone she wanted me to do what I wanted with my life.

Unfortunately, due to growing up poor, I had a GED and not much else. On top of that I was fired four months after her death.

A month after that, in May I was at my heaviest weight at the time after gaining sixteen pounds in a month and then I decided I’d had enough.

Picking up a sewing machine, I visited a fabric store for the first time and what began as long nights of crying, pricking my fingers and youtube videos I grew into a Master class Cosplayer, known for my ballgowns and corsetry ten years later.

When someone thinks about adults as cosplayers there’s generally two kinds of people who come to mind. Either the beautiful, famous (young) cosplayers or the socially awkward, unhygienic individuals that seem to be the most often stereotypes associated with the community by anyone outside of it.

Indeed, it was hard for me to overcome the idea of starting costuming at the age of twenty-seven, but I had already lived my life defining myself as fat and being labelled undesired. My mother was gone and it was time to start living.

The truth is, making costumes is a passion that defines much of my life even ten years later. Costuming isn’t just sewing or crafting. Quilting can be enjoyable, and garment making can give a boost of confidence, especially to fat people who often struggle with fit and sizes, but costume making encompasses techniques and designs that can take you outside your daily life and transform you into the person you wish you could be.

Its no surprise that many people who discover drag or cross dressing and find themselves during Halloween is such a high number. The idea of wearing that mask! Literal or figurative can help a person act and live in a way that they may have been otherwise unthinkable and the feeling of finally discovering yourself can be so uplifting. Cosplay is the same.

It becomes your life. You no longer feel the need to chase that idea that a ‘dream’ job is what you have to achieve. Work and working environments can feel easier to handle and face when you understand that you’re working for your happiness.

Making money no longer became just ‘surviving’ until a ‘better’ job came around. I worked to buy the things that made me happy. One hour meant one metre of that beautiful lace trim, the gold embroidery thread, the velvet for my skirt.

That first cut of fabric could make me so terrified of failure, or fill me with a confidence and bravery that felt like I was standing on top of the world.

Learning about new sewing techniques, talking to my peers and my elders. I began going to conventions, making friends of all ages.

I began applying for and writing panels that I presented at conventions and events, sharing my passions with others. Teaching them the hard learned techniques that I had to teach myself with difficulty.

The list goes on, and there’s plenty of examples showing that costume makers are reviving dying arts like hand sewing, corsetry, embroidery, etc.

In addition to that, the world of costuming can open you up to a manner of professions within your community and the world. Television, movies, theatre, the list goes on.

In the end, there’s millions of examples of people taking hold of their lives through their passion. Voices of encouragement continue to become louder every day and in the end, everyone’s path is different, but without the passion of others, some may never get the courage to take that first step.

So I’ll continue to drape myself in petticoats made of sixteen to forty metres. Revel in the feeling of expensive velvets and cheap organza, and standout in a crowd as a beacon of encouragement and passion for myself and others.

Because as silly as it sounds, Cosplay saved my life, and it will continue to shape and influence it until the day I take my last breath.