My Healing Whisperer

“Nature herself is sublimely eloquent. The stars as they sparkle in firmament fill us with delight and ecstasy, they all move in orbit marked out by mathematical precision.” - Alexander Von Humboldt

At the age of twelve, following a traumatic experience of abuse, I remember the feeling as of that of being stabbed, a profound weakening of my body and that of my mind.

In a state of shock and discomfort, I fell to the floor, kneeled for several minutes, until I completely laid and crawled protectively. It must have been an hour or two that I remained that way. Despite all that had happened to me at such a young age, something clear as day presented itself to me. Sharp as a knife, depression had seized me like no other. And through that depression, I knew I was placed in confinement.

Four walls of confinement is simply too narrow to describe the immensity of the evil which had followed me like a dark cloud full of sour rain.

I can never fully describe the nature of the experience, but day and night as I rose from the crawling, the darkest of forces, I found myself aching, craving, and reaching for the "outside." Yes, despite what the "outside" truly was for me then, dark and untrustworthy, I refused to stop envisioning the "outside" as the opposite of what was hurting me.

It was less of aching to meet people, and more of building a relationship with what I continued to believe in, the beauty of life. To a twelve year old, more than the value of gold and silver, the beauty of life meant running wild. Being wildly free from the inside, bright as the sun itself, opening my arms and heart for nature hoping such a genuine connection would too, alleviate the deepest of wounds. Wounds that bled deeply and seemingly without a cure.

It was at that very dark peak of my life that I realized where I truly belonged. Perhaps it was being inside a catastrophic cave which made me open my eyes, no longer being blinded, pulled inside one cloudy box of existence. Or perhaps it was simply clear, I was different, and the only medicine I needed was that from something that would understand me without judgement. Without the arms of people capable of violence and distress.

From thereon, I spoke to mother nature as if I worshipped a God. The feeling of hugging a tree, laying on a pile of the fall leaves, running through trails born out of indigenous populations with sacred hearts and stories, to standing in front of the very own infinite ocean - as much as it all belongs to something bigger, to the magnificent universe, it somehow knew - me.

This beautiful relationship with the planet’s lands, waters, and rocks continue to sing to me, and in return I fight for its protection as much as it fought for mine. Because of its gentleness and language, I have embraced and loved the pieces of me I have left.

Unfortunately, out of 7.9 billion human species on this planet, the percentage of those who have experienced a similar awakening is far too skewed. The darkest of people and forces harm our forests, lands, and oceans as if it is a mere game. As one of my most admired creatives and film-makers of all time, Finn Harries articulates,

"it is beyond perplexing that our functional capacity of self-awareness and emotion does not give people an overriding sense of responsibility and stewardship, rather it seems to have manifested as something closer to entitlement and ignorance."

To add to this, it has manifested so much to greed, and without doubt, the obsession and “entitlement” to over-consumption, materialism, and the source of dark currency is behind every single damage to our natural world. Those in power, under systems and masks easily camouflaged with that drastic man-made catastrophe. It dominates our culture like a virus on its own.

Having a wholesome consciousness and philosophy can drastically change our relationship to nature. It’s true, when one speaks the same language as our earth, with such gentleness and, respect, ever-lasting care, the extraordinary happens. Nothing else is medicine to the soul than that very own rare relationship.

This experience of living has led to a form of awakening. Earth’s wildlife and nature reflect the wholeness of who I am. No matter what the darkest of human acts do to tear such beauty apart, it isn’t diminishing, making any less of what our planet truly is - wholesome and unstoppable.

Only those who honor such beauty and fight to make it known are the ones who heal the planet. If not saving every single forest and animal species, at least saving one. And to save one, two or three, somehow means saving everything.

Ultimately, I stand with Earth forever, knowing that its beauty, even at its hurting, it heals. Heals unconditionally and one does not need to figure out a mathematical equation to know the truth. Nature’s roar and connection to us orbits in front of our very own eyes, only for those who can see.