LOVE IS XVll

"A story should have a beginning, a middle, and an end . . . but not necessarily in that order"

- Jean-Luc Godard

Congratulations. Looks like you’ve made it to the end of the Love Is Series Volume ll. It’s been quite the journey. I must say, it was all worth it.

I’m in Thailand right now. It’s 3 am on a Sunday and I just got off the phone with my Mother. I wept. Not out of sadness or grief, but out of genuine relief.

I am free.

I began Love Is as a way of creating a safe space for myself and others to explore ourselves through themed photoshoots combined with written stories. I was guided to express, share and create. I made it my duty to involve the most gifted, unique and eccentric people of Kansas City, which has been more than a dream come true. It has been an honor to piece together these stories with creativity and pure intention. I have moments where I sit with myself laughing at the fact that I became one of those blog site girlies. Giving monthly and yearly updates on my thoughts, emotions, fears , traumas and experiences. Over sharing with the public… for free.

I discovered so much about myself through going back and reading my own work. I can see how much I’ve matured and softened. I see how brave I have had to be over the years to share so much of myself online, so often.

Truthfully, I am in need of deep rest and reflection. The desire to write and share has been dwindling down within me as my life takes on a new form in a new direction. I feel more guided to live right now , than to write. I’m starting a new chapter in life that requires me to be ever present and willing to dive deeper within so that I can process everything I’ve been through over the years. Writers need healing too. Therapy also. Lots of therapy.

The last 7 stories have been nothing short of true brilliance and artistry. This second half of the series was filled with tales from the superstars, the innovators, the game changers, the trend setters, the go getters and move makers. Within this particular article, I will dive into my personal lessons and experiences behind the scenes when I pieced these tales together to bring each story to life.

Ladies and Gentlemen. Without further ado, the story behind the stories.

LOVE IS PART X: The Foxy Nova’s

This was an interesting time for me. After coming out of what seemed to be the longest winter ever, I was stepping back into the creative realm with fresh ideas and new perspectives. During this phase, Connie Calypso emerged. I was stepping into a new craft by testing out my skills as a rapper and released my first music video.

I was ruled by pride and ego during this phase of life. I have never been excellent at working with large groups of people, especially women. The different attitudes, gossip, drama and different definitions of professionalism was at the forefront of my experience and I was presented with two projects that would create space for maturity and growth. I was learning how to be a leader and how to be a teammate at the same time. I’d much rather be the boss.

I discovered that it’s easy for women to be rubbed the wrong way by my energy. I have a strong personality and I take up space. I am not for everyone. Some women are a cup of green tea. I’m a shot of whiskey. Straight.

I am not designed to be in all spaces at all times , collaborating with just anyone. I also needed to learn how to still be professional and compassionate when dealing with others that may not be fond of me because at the end of the day, the show must go on. I was learning how to not let my personal feelings get in the way of my business dealings.

LOVE IS PART XI: Black Luv Edition

I don’t fit in with the younger crowds or my own generation at all. It’s always been that way. During this time I found myself trying to squeeze into tiny spaces. I was faced with harsh truths about my personality and my beliefs. I began to see what life really looks like when I play small and dim my light to let others step into their own shine.

I had to learn how to be humble and how there is so much power in community and friendship. How our network really does equal our net worth sometimes so I am learning how to build and maintain valuable connections with people without allowing my emotions and thoughts to permeate the environments I enter or poison and sabotage the connections that were sent for me to serve or surrender to receive the goodness attached to them.

LOVE IS PART XII: The Kansas City Stars

This shoot was iconic. I felt so powerful being surrounded by black men that I value and respect. I was extremely intentional about the theme, the attire/color scheme and the location.

I learned about God’s timing and alignment during this process. I originally gathered this idea and concept in 2020 & planned to bring it to life in 2021. I was inspired by Gary Taylor. His stand on black power and masculinity ignited something mighty in me. When he passed, I felt discouraged. I never got the chance to get his story in writing. I spent months trying to figure out who would be best for this shoot and why. I wanted to have men that I felt were really impactful in the city and that had influence or some sort of power in their line of work or craft overall.

The original line up was Warren Harvey, JM Banks, Brandon Nelson , and Irv Irving. I felt like having them all in one room would be a big deal and I, so desperately wanted their stories. Unfortunately, that didn’t come to be. I needed men that also believed in me.

Fast forward to 2024. 4 years later, the urge to complete this visual was stirring up inside of me again. It was time. Lacey Knight is the key to the streets. She was doing her 3rd burlesque show, Down The Rabbit Hole, at The Fall located on the bottom floor of The Ale House in Westport which was my original idea for the shoot anyway. Lacey got me free entry into the space to shoot the photos for the story and it was nothing short of a dream come true.

My guys came prepared, sharp and sophisticated. I color coded my outfit to match theirs and I also studied each of my guys for 3 months to match their energy. They are all so different and I morphed into the kind of woman that I felt each of them would have if we were lovers in the 60’s.

Cliff is my main man 50 grand. He keeps me calm and grounded in real life. He is my mentor, my masculine oracle, a true friend and I don’t have many. He is trustworthy and honorable. Sensual and seductive. I chose red for his look and when we shot together, the energy was like fire because internally, we are both flames. He is my soldier. No one believes in me the way Sergeant Hurd does. I’d go to war behind this one.

Shooting with Tevin was the most exciting. We laughed a lot genuinely and our outfits synced so well together. We have natural magnetic chemistry and his touch was the most comforting and organic. Tevin reminds me of joy, pleasure, lightheartedness and child-like glee. He is my reminder to lighten up, loosen up and that I don’t have to act so tough. He’s a righteous man and a great father figure. A philanthropist and humanitarian. I believe that in another life, he was a revolutionary.

Devonte’s energy commands respect. I could sense his wife’s presence all over his auric field so throughout the shoot I made sure to keep my hands and my body in respectable places. I admire Devonte and I appreciate his belief in my work and my craft. I value his mastery in film making. I pray that when we make movies later on , that my works puts a lot of big bucks into his bank account. I enjoyed our attire the most. Shooting with Devonte reminded me of how much of a wholesome woman I am, contrary to popular belief. I can be well rounded when I want to be. Everything Devonte is apart of becomes a masterpiece.

Renauld likes to pretend to be serious all the time. He reflects that stoic and regal energy back to me. I appreciate his dedication to acting and entrepreneurial spirit. I love how he is so involved with the Kansas City community and how impactful he is in everything he does. His energy takes up space. He will make a great husband one day.

I appreciated their stories the most. I have never done a full photo shoot with men before and I was so anxious about things not going well. If Lacey wasn’t there I would’ve lost control of the vision trying to do too many things at once. She was my saving grace and kept the energy neutral in the space.

We executed the shoot and when I released the story it went viral. Kansas City came for me. Everyone was under the impression that I was sleeping with or dating all of these men not even realizing that two of them are married and that I have a chastity belt that no one has a key to. I was bombarded with messages, comments, evil eye energy from women that desire these men and also just overall curiosity from the public. I loved every minute of it. It sparked lots of conversation about polygamy, loyalty, and integrity.

A few days later the Ale House closed down permanently. It’s as if God wasn’t going to let that place go out of business until I was able to complete my vision. We made history.

LOVE IS PART XIII: The Prestigious Philosophers

Creating this segment was very much ghetto. I’d say that this was my least favorite photo shoot throughout Love Is history. It was a rushed story. The weather was not on my side this day and my wig was almost gone with the wind.

When I received the photos back from Micah Thompson, I could see the sadness in my eyes. I was still healing my heart from a previous dynamic. A relationship that was also very , for lack of better words, ghetto. I was replaying moments that brought me to my lowest point in life and that energy was permeating my being throughout the entire shoot.

I visualized shooting at the Kansas City Library for years because it reminds me of my childhood. I have memories of seeing the large books by the parking garage and how, as a kid, I would marvel at them because I am a reader and a writer before I am anything else in this world.

I was pleased with Jess and Ritchie’s written portion which helped me to feel better about the final results of the story. I just can’t stand to view the photos because it just reminds me of how malnourished I was from not eating. How tired I was from the insomnia that took over my life. The ache in my heart that I still felt from choosing someone that did not choose me back. This story reminds me of my triumph and how much work it took to get out of that place of darkness.

LOVE IS PART XIV: The Daughters Of Eve

Rage and grief. That is what fueled this story. This was the hardest story to write. Much harder than when I had to write about Gary Taylor on Love Is Part IV. It’s as if the words just weren’t flowing to and through me properly. I was suppressing my truth to keep the peace.

We booked a flight and wrote our stories in Miami together. It was such a strange time for me. Such a challenging time in our friendship. We had just reconciled with each other after experiencing a deceptive love triangle. She moved on from the experience. I hadn't fully healed from it, and I was hiding that fact. Embarrassed that I was still holding on to the past while watching my friend not have to carry the weight of the grief I was holding in. Frustrated that he mirrored the same energy as her. Enraged with myself that I was even going to write about it, while on vacation. It's hard to write the truth about how you feel when the person that plays a part of the wound is sitting right next to you. She finished her story in one day. I was intimidated by her openness and readiness to share because I was wanting to hide my truth. Love is, has always been about transparency. She forced me to get real with myself.

I didn't finish until the last day of our trip.

My faith was tested. I began attending Christian church on Sunday's while also aligning myself with Islam, which felt/feels much more connected to my spirit and belief system. I was getting closer to god and detaching from the material realm. I was preparing myself for a voyage without a map.

After publishing the story I felt so conflicted about the amount of details I shared about myself. " Why am I giving out all this information about myself for free?". I began to go through my Love Is Series and I would judge myself for oversharing while also feeling overwhelming proud that I've been able to help others heal through writing their truth, being photographed in their bare skin, asked questions that make them think and reflect, to be apart of history in Kansas City. I began to see my light again and how important I have been in the evolution of the creative sector in my city. I'm really a pioneer. I remembered the god in me.

LOVE IS PART XV: The Final Feast

God is real.

This entire project was a testament of my faith, skill, surrender, trust, and sacrifice. By far the most challenging piece of art I have ever been able to generate. The tiniest seed that I watched bloom for 5 years. I struggled, cried, gave up, started over, and even lost people along the way. In the end, it's all just the story behind the story.

Divinement is the title of my second song/short film and I combined it with Love Is Final Feast where we recreated the last supper to create one full masterpiece. I had some heavy hitterz in the building. Nneoma Lanea, Kim Newsome, Bonnie Monroe ( a legend ), Lacey Knight, and so many talented, gifted and brilliant people in Kansas City. It was unreal for me. Everyone was so excited to be apart of the magic and I was elated to have them all.

Absolutely nothing went as planned. The person I originally made the song with bailed on me mid-process. She didn't have the capacity to show up in the way I needed her to. Our friendship had already went through a series of trials and tribulations. It was finally time to just officially cut that cord. For me, it was a relief. I had to reschedule and change the date so many times that some of my cast just began to drop out due to being frustrated with the changes. They questioned my professionalism. Behind the scenes I was dealing with countless betrayal, transitions and transformations. God was trying to teach me adaptability and patience and I was resisting.

My videographer was intimidated by the fullness of this project but refused to be honest with me about it. For months I had to beg for footage. My vision was a movie, not just a music video. I was dealing with the friction that was happening behind the scenes. It wasn't until I went to Thailand, came back and made peace with certain individuals that the vision was able to fully come into fruition.

5 years and 7 months later, Divinement was ready to be shared. I released the video on July, 10th 2025 at 4:00 pm. After so much war , chaos and destruction, I finally was able to be released from holding on to the project. The audacity I had to play Jesus and Eve in the garden. My character was tested. My faith in GOD was brought to the forefront. I went through a series of events that showed me that god's plan is much bigger than anything I set out to do.

Love Is Part XVI: Empyrean

This story was initially inspired by my beloved Natasha Beauchamp. Her business name is Empyreal Roots. Prior to her creation, I never knew the word. When I discovered the meaning of it, it is singlehandely what inspired the photoshoot and essence of the story to end the series. Heaven. I’ve been on a holy and righteous era since Love Is Part XIV and god has been at the forefront of most of my creations.

I was romantically interested in a Greek woman at the time while also studying Greek Mythology and it is what inspired the look and theme of the photoshoot. I was drawn to Calypso and how much I could relate to her tale. I attempted to do this photoshoot and project with two other people before finally aligning with Evan. It had to be him, for him and I both discovered the workings of god through our experience with one another.

Evan & I were separated for a while and we reconciled after months of not speaking to do this shoot. Our reconnection required forgiveness on my end and I am not one to easily forgive. The story behind the story is always important.

This was a hectic time for me. I was worried about my finances as I prepared for my departure to Thailand. I was uprooting my entire life while trying to bring forth my creation into reality. I didn’t feel sexy and I didn’t feel like modeling. I felt like getting the story over with so that I could finally wrap up Love Is and move on to the next mission. We did the photoshoot for this piece the day before I moved. It was bitter sweet. The last person I saw before I left the country was my mother. The last thought I had while sitting on that plane was “God, show me how good it can get.”

God showed me just how good it could get. I had to give up my old life for my new one. I finished Love Is Volume II. Thailand was my reward. Self-Love is what I discovered.

Ultimately what I have concluded is that Love is … the journey within.

Photographer : Amina Shaw IG: @aminaeffinshaw