Life Lessons Part I

Life is hard. It is full of challenges and rewards. Our lives are like a book filled with characters learning, growing and being challenged. The rewards will vary depending on who we are and where we live out our lives. Also by the people with whom we associate ourselves. They can influence us in positive ways or lead us into the darkness.

Nobody makes it alone

Nobody in this world ever makes it alone. No human in the history of humanity has ever become successful, alone. Every famous person throughout human history has had help along the way. Never be afraid to ask for help, even if it involves your parents or family. Our children never go from minor league to playing professional baseball in the majors unless we as parents will encourage and help them along the way. The wide receiver in professional football didn’t run into the end zone because he did it all on his own from the time he played in peewee league. He made it because of his parents, coaches, and the team. When encouraged and supported along our journey, we can do amazing things.

We become successful when we learn how to fail. Yes, I said fail. When Thomas Edison was asked how it felt to fail 1,000 times, he replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.” He only needed one way to make it work.

Our First Time

The first time we learn how to ride a bike, we fall. The first time we try to walk we fall, or how about the first time at swinging a baseball bat? We usually miss. The first time at anything is hard until we learn. For everything in life, there is a first time. Fear is nothing more than a chemical process in our brains. Most people talk themselves out of something before they ever start. Remember the line from Star Wars when Yoda said to Luke, “Do or do not, there is no try”. If we convince ourselves to try, we will either talk ourselves out of it or will fail. If, however, we think positive and visualize ourselves performing that act and succeeding, we will.

If you have ever run around a track, you know how the first two laps feel. You also know how the last lap feels. They are different. The during the first two laps our muscles are warming up. During the last lap, we add even more speed as we increase oxygen into our lungs. After crossing the finish line, we need rest. Life is like that. The hardest part of any endeavor is the last lap. Some people get frustrated at the second lap or third and quit. Some keep going. The important thing to remember is not just keep going. Don’t give in to the pleasure of quitting.

The Pleasure of Quitting

Our brains are hard wired to quitting in order to avoid rejection or failure. Remember those awkward teen years when asking someone to the dance or to dance with them? We’re afraid of rejection. Why? Because it hurts. But what if we learn to accept the risk and try, the result is different? There is a pleasure that comes with quitting. We work out in a gym. A process we’ve done many times. We work all day then go to the gym. We start the process but then something happens in our brains that causes us to say to ourselves, “I’m tired I don’t want to do this anymore”. It’s easy to give in to it. Sometimes it’s good to give ourselves a break from work and exercise. We all need to take breaks. We just don’t want those breaks to become habits that will prevent us from achieving our goals or dreams in life.

Focus, Determination and Tenacity

I have had many achievements in my lifetime. They all required focus, determination, effort, desire, and passion. People who don’t know me see the result of years of hard work and sweat. I remember when I began my training in martial arts. It was a long process that took years of focus, determination and hard work. For example, during the years I trained and rose in rank in martial arts, people saw me in my martial arts uniform with the black strip down the pant legs, and on the jacket with all the patches. They see the black belt around my waist. They see the result of a lot of work. What they didn’t see were the long hours spent training, and the sweat learning the skills. They don’t know of the sacrifices made of my time or how many times I failed until I got it right. They know nothing of all the competitions I attended as a student and as a judge or all the levels or belt colors one must pass through to achieve a black belt. The muscle pain felt while training my body to be limber, stronger and faster. Black Belts in martial arts earned by one’s actions and effort. By pushing yourself beyond what you think you are capable of.

Never Let Fear Get In The Way

Since I was a child growing up, I was hungry to read and learn of the world and the universe we live in. Playing sports in high school allowed me to realize I could do it well, and that motivated me to push myself. In the military, I learned discipline and continued pushing myself. I ran long distance not only in high school but after the service to stay healthy and because it made me feel good. When we run long distance, we put lot’s of oxygen into our brains. The result sharpens our mental focus. I never allowed fear preventing me from pushing myself to the next level or from enjoying life. None of us will ever know what our actual limit is unless we will push ourselves beyond our comfort level. Get out of your sandbox and get into a bigger one.

When I trained in scuba diving, I didn’t fear the water. I was an excellent swimmer. I was more concerned about the potential of equipment failure. Once I learned how to use it, my confidence increased and I became relaxed while exploring another world. There is nothing better than breathing relaxed out of a regulator and swimming through the water enjoying a world many people never see, knowing that you don’t have to come up for air for at least one to one and a half hours. Depending on how healthy you are and how relaxed you.

Support and Help

Surround yourself with people who support you and can help you achieve your goal. Don’t be afraid to take risks as they are an everyday occurrence. Driving our cars to work is a risk.

Try meditation as well. I taught myself meditation while training in martial arts. It helped. Even if it’s only for a few minutes. We need to disconnect from the world. If we never disconnect our brains never get a break. That is not healthy.

Stay healthy, have fun, and believe in yourself!