Life: An Odyssey of Choices

The other day, I asked my friend how life is, and he said, "It is good and I am enjoying it", then he paused and said, "Yeah! It is good but it could be better".

I asked, “What is the problem with a good life? Is it necessary to measure its degree - the good, the better, and the best? and if it is, then what is your ‘better’ life?”

“Life could be better if I would have done this instead of that.” and blah blah!

But, do choices play a role in making your life better?

Wanna dig in? Sure, but remember this question as we move along.

First, let us talk about choices. The other day when I was thinking about these things sitting in my garden, a squirrel captured my attention. It was on the trunk of the tree, climbing upwards. But the tree wasn’t a straight path. It split into 2 big branches then these 2 branches into 2 more and then 2 more. It reminds me of Robert Frost’s infamous lines:

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth"

We need to choose one out of a lot so many times in our lives. The same was going on with the squirrel climbing the complicated yet beautiful structure of branches. But there was something even more complicated.

“What?”

- The journey of the squirrel!

From a single trunk

to a fragile branch

at the top of the tree,

after crossing all thee

twisted branches

sometimes swiftly,

when the options are fewer,

other times confused

when the pathways intertwine.

The squirrel embarked with a heart full of glee,

who knows where the lilliputian wants to go,

maybe she seeks a better look at the garden,

where the flowers bloom in colors so bright,

and dreams take flight in the warm daylight.

To reach the peak, the squirrel pressed on,

navigating choices, a labyrinth long.

Which path was right, and which was wrong?

Perfection is elusive, yet she stayed strong.

But it doesn't matter, after all,

for now, she stands where breezes call,

at the top of the tree, her journey’s end,

where aspirations and reality blend.

and a squirrel made me a poet, indeed!

Imagine this tree as a tree of life. We are little children, at the big trunk of the tree and there are not many serious choices to make. But as soon as you become older, life starts to split into more and more choices. Choices are coherent with Life. You start jumping from one decision to another. From a swift choice made in the teenage to a time-taking decision of adulthood. And then, as we grow older and older, our choices again narrow down.

One thing is clear choices make up life. So, which choice is wrong and which one is right?

Choose one of the two options below:

1. Is it the result that makes our choices right or wrong?

Or

2. It is the choice that gives us a good result or a bad result.

Here, if you choose the second option, then you are one of the people saying “If I had chosen the 2nd option, I would have won the game.”, “Oh no, I should have taken the other road, this road leads to a forest.” etc.

Wait!

Could you tell me how you know the outcome of 2nd option that you never chose? Superpowers indeed!

I am sorry but I am not expecting anyone from you to have that superpower. You never know about the outcome before the event which is yet to take place. Am I wrong?

So, maybe the first option looks promising. It is the result that puts choices in the dichotomy i.e. a good choice or a bad choice.

However, life doesn't happen to exist in dichotomy instead it is a continuum. In simple words, it is an Odyssey, a journey of everything.

So which option is right?

Let's dig deeper!

What determines the success or failure of a decision?

The point is that success doesn't rely on ‘choices’, instead, success is the outcome of optimism, hard work, persistence after making a choice....and a bountiful of positive words. And, it is your experience, your way of doing things, and your perception that guides you to choose what is “correct” for you.

In the same way, “a better life” is an illusion. [Wait! don’t lead my sentence in the direction it isn’t supposed to be! No, I am not asking you to stop dreaming big for the future. There is a difference between being fine with what you have and being contended with your present while working for the future, where you have to choose the latter. ]

There is just "a life" and you are the one who can choose to call it good or bad depending on your level of optimism (as we discussed in the previous newsletter: https://shopping-feedback.today/motivation/how-to-be-an-optimist)

How can your life be ‘better’ if you have never experienced that imaginary ‘better life’ of yours? What if, the thing that is ‘better’ in your head, in reality, it’s a disaster?

You can choose to stay where you are and remain unaware, or you can open your mind and work on becoming a better person instead of dreaming of a better life. “Try to be the person ‘you look for’ in others”. This is a choice! Neither a good one nor a bad one because it is the journey of a thousand steps after the choice, that is going to determine the result, not the choice itself.

And if your negligence put you into turmoil, then stop lamenting that choice. Stop guarding yourself by clinging to "I made the wrong choice", the wrong choice? Maybe what you did after was wrong. Maybe the other options that you had would have ruined everything. The dilemma is obvious where choices are many. Squeeze your turmoil for positive results. Remember when you fail at something, self-help becomes reality, introspection becomes a habit, and self-improvement becomes your ally. The decision that led you to failure also forced you to be a better version of yourself, your torchbearer. Trust me or not, but knowing what not to do is more important than knowing what to do and by failures, you realize that most important thing.

Sure the devil wants you to lament your bad decisions. But don't! Don't lament, instead be happy in the process of learning and improving. Happiness is a choice, a good choice indeed.

Reading until here, you have arrived at the main goal of this newsletter, which is the following quote:

“I don’t know which option you should choose. I could never advise you on that…No matter what kind of wisdom dictates you the option you should pick, no one will be able to tell if it’s right or wrong till you arrive at some sort of outcome, resulting from your choice. The only thing we are allowed to do is to believe that we won’t regret the choice we made.” - Levi Ackerman from Attack on Titans. [Hajime Isayama is GOAT!] (That’s why anime lovers are right, the dialogues are deep my friend.) This is indeed my favorite dialogue ever. Not just this quote, but the whole anime revolves around ‘Choices’. What choice of Eren could take the 3 friends to the normal life they imagined? I highly recommend watching it!

If I want to look at this quote the other way around to be able to make decisions, I would say, the only way to make the right choice is to realize, which choice will lead you to less regret. In the end, you have to make sure not to regret it.

Always remember, the main journey starts after you make a choice. The journey to make the best out of that choice, the journey to never regret this journey, the journey that leads you to some kind of betterment! Did I answer the question I asked you to remember in the beginning?

A wrong choice is a myth.

“So, what do you choose?”

- I choose not to regret my choice!

And as Mohd. Rafi sings:

“Barbaadiyon ka sog manana fizool tha

Barbaadiyon ka jashn manaata chala gaya

Main zindagi ka saath nibhaata chala gaya

Har fikr ko dhuein mein uRaata chala gaya”

(it was useless to be sad for it all getting ruined

(so) I kept on celebrating all that ruin.

I just kept going with the life,

Kept on making every worry fly like smoke)