Learning to Love

Learning to Love again, I don't mean someone else I mean loving you. How many of us end up in relationships that we depend on someone else for our happiness . Stop!! Depend on yourself , What makes you happy? What uplifts you ? What inspires you.

I know its hard to think about, but if you do not love you how do expect someone else to love you . Start by telling your self that you don't need someone to make you feel complete . Make a list of things you want to change . Commit to being single while you make these changes .

As you start working on you, you will see many great changes you will find out things you never thought possible . Keep a journal for your eye's only. Write in it everyday to keep track of your progress . After 30 days sit down , read what you wrote. Look at the progress you have made, also look at the set backs.

Remind yourself this journal is not to list the negative effects that others have made you felt about yourself . It's about you the change you see in yourself. How you see yourself. As you review what you have written is it what you feel about yourself or what other make you feel about yourself?

With that question in mind. Only you can change how you feel about you, change what you do not like about yourself. If its what others make you feel about yourself think about why you let it affect how you feel, think about why their opinion of you matters so much to you. NO ones words should make you hate yourself ever.

When you start your journal make sure to always say something positive about your life . I know change can be hard but it can happen . If you do not love yourself first don't expect someone to love you or treat you better than you treat yourself . If you have a set back its okay we are only human, we all make mistakes its what we learn from the mistakes we make.

Set goals as you complete those goals set new ones, you and only you will know when you are ready to love another person. When you do start looking for that happily ever after again write down and be honest with yourself what you are looking for, what matters most to you in that relationship. Trust if someone truly loves you and wants to build a life with you they will work with you towards your goals they wont try to change you.

If you find yourself slipping into old patterns ask yourself why, have you changed? Has anything big changed in your life? Are you listening to what others say about you again? Make a list that has three to four columns. List the problem in one, second column is that how you feel, third how someone makes you feel, and fourth someone's opinion of you.

To truly love yourself you have to have a high regard to your own feelings and well-being. It means to take care of you, your own needs and not sacrificing your feelings or well-being to please others. Loving your self means something different for all of us its how we care for ourselves its what makes us who we are.

There are things you can do to achieving love for your self. Start by stopping comparing yourself to other people they are not you and you are not them. Do not let someone's opinions of you dictate who you truly are, most of the time its their own insecurities.

You have to remember we all make mistakes no one is perfect. Learn from those mistakes and grow. Do not focus on your looks that does not make you who you are. Remember we are all unique we all bring something different to this world if everyone was the same life would be pretty boring.

The biggest part of self love is letting go of the toxic people in your life. They are the first in a fight to tell you what hurts most. For experience mine was loving someone who only loved him self when we fought the first words were always go kill yourself the world would be a better place without. Those words cut to the bone especially when it was a person you'd do anything for, the one you would give up everything for.

Listen to all of your fears. Find ways to understand your fears work through them. Work on them so they are not a fear. If your afraid of being alone than be alone for a minute work on that fear. Realize that is all it is a fear. You may find you are so much stronger than people give credit for.

There comes a time you have to make decisions that are best for you. Only you know what that is. Not the person telling you to jump off a bridge with them. You know your self, you know the life you truly want to have. You are capable of getting that life fight for that life.

Take every adventure you can or create ones for your self . Set those goals and dreams. I wanted to own my own house everyone told me I would never be able to. Well yes I set the goal to prove all of those people wrong I am two years for owning first home. Every one that has been apart of my life told me I needed them to survive. I might not like being alone sometimes but I do not have to loose me or loose what I believe in.

This one is hard trust me I know it is you have to find away to put your self first. If you always put this off it can effect you mentally and emotionally. Find time to dance for no reason, sing your heart out or even just spend the day outdoors taking in all of its beauty.

Do not fight the tears, the pain or the joy. Embrace all of those feelings scream if you need to scream, cry it does not make you weak, except the pain in your heart realize why its there.

See the beauty in the simplest of things. The sun shining or the rain the is watering the beautiful flowers you love to look at. Making it threw a day without feeling worthless.

Never be afraid to speak your mind. Do not fear rejection from others because you do not agree with something they want or are saying. Your voice matters as much as the next person.

The next to are so very important remind your self that you matter that you are important. Learning from everything you go through look at all the things you over come. The things you achieve. "You are important and you are loved " even if its by only you which matters the most in life.

No one is ever truly alone . LOVE YOU ABOVE ANYONE !!! YOU MATTER NO ONE BUT YOU CONTROLS THAT!!!