I took on the Super Bowl and lost…… Or did I?

A couple weeks ago I was talking with a wonderful friend about an idea I had for a special Galentine’s event. My vision was to bring women together and talk about love, relationships and sacred sexuality. I asked her, “Should I do a Sunday event? Is it a good day?” She replied back, “Everyday is a good day, you just have to try.”

In my head, it was a “perfect” idea. Years ago before I discovered tantra and sacred sexuality, I can remember how hard it was to maintain my self love at this time of year. Putting on a brave face, but still feeling alone and empty because I was telling myself stories of unworthiness no matter my relationship status.

If I was single, I was unworthy because I couldn’t attract a man, I was divorced with twins so who would want that? If I was in a relationship I wasn’t a good enough partner to deserve love and my partner didn’t really love me the way I wanted to be loved anyways.

So Valentines day would come and the anxiety in my heart would build until the day would come and go returning everything to “normal”.

So when I has the idea of a Galentine’s event was a perfect because the past me is my soulmate client. I dove into creating mode. I built the event, the funnels, the landing pages then started the PR and marketing sending invites out to hundreds of women.

Feeling confident and trusting the process I didn’t focus on numbers, just enjoyment of the flow.

Then Friday my kids said on our Friday call, “Who are you hoping for on Sunday mom?”

“What? Who?……. Oh……. Oh shit” as my mind put together what I had done.

I had created an event to go head to head with kick-off.

I will admit here, when I realized what I had done my heart sank and I had a little panic. “I might as well cancel.”

“No,” My higher self replied. “Keep going”

So I did. I continued the marketing and surrendered to the process. I even let myself rest on Saturday. (Which was a big win as a recovering over achiever)

Sunday morning I woke up with the feeling of being upgraded in life. I spent the morning sending out the last reminders and posts then spent time in meditation, visualizing how I wanted the event to go, and how I wanted to be open for the flow of consciousness.

At 3 pm I went live……..

Nothing…..

Silence……

Five minutes went by. I closed my eyes and surrendered. Opening my eyes a call in participant joined the call. We chatted and I welcomed her in.

Taking a deep breath I grounded myself and began to speak. The hour flew by. There was no resistance, I just let consciousness flow through me and trusted that the message would find a place to land.

At the end of the event I asked the caller how she enjoyed herself. Silence……. She was not on the line any more. LOL

I could chalk this up to a total failure. I could listen to the stories of the ego that say, “loser.” “No one loves you enough to be here.” “You still suck at marketing.” “You didn’t work hard enough”. But all that is bullshit.

This wasn’t a failure, this was a breakthrough.

I had so much FUN! The flow moving through me, the pleasure in my body as I taught the embodiment and breath of Tantra. I felt ALIVE, PURPOSEFUL and connected to God more than I ever have before in my teachings.

This is what Soul Aligned work feels like. No more doing it for the outcome, I am doing this for me, because it FEELS GOOD, because I know in my bones that this is why I am here.

I don’t know who one the game yesterday, or who was in the half time or what commercials went viral. I don’t even care.

As I sit here today, digesting the lessons and envisioning my future all I know is I went up against the Super Bowl, and won!