I Started Living After I Knew Life

I took the time to know life from the eyes in my heart — Annelise Lords

Cassie and Amy listened to Shelly rant on and on about how sick she was and how her children were horrible to her. She complained that they were in good jobs but used their money to buy clothes, fake hair, lots of makeup, and Manicures and Pedicures every week. They party hard, too, living it up despite having car loans. They still lived at home and hardly gave her a cent toward the bills. They saved nothing, too. They did buy food, though.

Amy nudged Cassie on her left side as they sat inside Simon Café enjoying their regular Sunday brunch, then whispered, “Since it’s your week to pay, you tell her why her life is the hell that it is.”

Cassie turned and gave her the evil eye.

Then Shelly said, after swallowing a big bite of her Spanish omelet, “What did I do wrong as a mother?”

“You really want to know?” Cassie asked, dropping her fork on her plate of fruit and nut waffles soaked in strawberry-flavored maple syrup.

“Damn right, I want to know!” Shelly yelled.

Cassie signaled their waitress, who hurried over and said, “Can you put our meals in a container, please? We have an emergency and must leave now.”

“Sure,” Patsy, their waitress, said, hurrying away to get the Styrofoam containers.

“What’s the emergency?” Shelly demands.

“You wanted to know what you did to cause your children to be doing what they are doing now,” Cassie reminds her.

She eyed them in curiosity, furling and unfurling her brows. Minutes later, they drove away from the restaurant. As Cassie parked in front of her home, she asked, “What are we doing here?”

“This is where the proof is,” Cassie informs her.

“You mean I am responsible?” she questioned.

“And you not only saved the evidence,” Cassie said, opening the car door. “You preserved history.”

All three females entered Shelly’s home.

Cassie points to the many pictures on the walls in the living room, preserving history. They show her in different poses dressed expensively at the many parties, dances, cruises, and other places of enjoyment. They take her from room to room. The bathroom, kitchen, and refrigerator have pictures of her enjoying life and herself.

Amy had to grab her as her body was slipping downward. They assisted her to the living room.

Sitting on the sofa, Cassie explained, “You preserved history so well. It is all your children saw growing up. We had to stand in as mothers while you tour the world enjoying yourself. Their father did his best, and we did the rest. They repeat history, which they wake up to every morning, showing how you live and enjoy your life. They go to bed with it, too. You also had pictures in their room, which they removed and started showing theirs.”

“I did all of that?” she asked in shock.

“I am not done,” Cassie informs her. “They don’t know any other way to live. You work, and your salary is used to enjoy your life the way they are enjoying theirs. Nothing is saved for the future. Their father paid for everything. This house is their father’s, who refused to marry you because you weren’t there as a mother. He was smart enough to know you won’t be there as a wife. The house belonged to them after he died. The Will isn’t probated because they are too busy repeating history. That isn’t important. They don’t live with you. You live with them.”

She found the strength to bolt up and started grabbing the pictures off the wall and smashing them. She went from room to room and removed her pictures, smashing the frames and ripping them to pieces.

Amy reached out to stop her, but Cassie says, ‘As the singer says, ‘Memories don’t live like people do. They always stay with you.’”

“Not if you have Dementia or Alzheimer’s and. . . . . .” Amy said.

The look Cassie gave her, she bit her tongue to stop herself.

In tears, Shelly pleaded, “Why didn’t someone stop me.”

“We tried,” Amy said.

“And you said you only have one life and can’t just live like us. You must enjoy your life while living it,” Cassie reminds her.

“So, you live first, then enjoy your life after?” she questioned.

Cassie swayed her head and explained, “We took the time to know life first.”

“And I didn’t,” she questioned again.

“You lived and enjoyed your life. We took the time to know life so that we can make the best decisions for our children and the future,” Cassie explained.

“Again, I didn’t,” she said with regret.

“Girl,” Cassie reached out, pulling her towards the sofa. After she sat down, she said, “Your decision is your life. Our decisions are ours. You live the life you want. And we live ours.”

“You knew I would get here, didn’t you?” she said, wiping away tears.

Cassie nodded, and her eyes swayed to Amy, who nodded, too.

“What do I do now?”

“Find a Genie and ask him to turn back time,” slid from Amy’s thoughts.

Cassie slapped her on the back of her head.

“I am joking,” she cried, rubbing the slap she got.

“Tell your children the truth about your life and the mistakes you made. Then show them what could happen if they continue on that familiar path,” Cassie suggested.

“And let them know I failed as a mother!” she cried.

Amy and Cassie stared at her in shock.

Then Cassie educates, “You can continue a cycle without love, cruelty, thoughtlessness, and irresponsibility actions, choices, and decisions toward children or break the cycle with them. You put party and enjoyment before your responsibilities to them. They are doing the same to you. You are unwell and are alone night and day. Is this how you want to continue to live?”

“I have you guys,” she said as sadness and regret reached the surface.

“We are not putting our friendship ahead of our needs,” Cassie informs her. “I sacrifice everything to get where I am. Amy and I were on the job for our children and yours. We didn’t take breaks or vacations. I intend to enjoy my life now that I have no children to care for.”

“I am sorry,” Amy adds. “You mocked us because we chose to know life before we started living it. I am not stopping my life to be your nurse.”

“But we are friends,” she pleads.

“And friendship has limits and boundaries,” Cassie explains. “We didn’t stop your life. Don’t stop ours.”

“I agree,” Amy said, staring at her with pity. “We lived that way in our past to have the life we want in the future. Our children don’t need us, and we don’t need them. We are ready to live and enjoy the life we worked for and are healthy too.”

Shelly sighed, tears reeling down, then said, as regret tore her heart apart, “I should have taken the time to know life.”

I started living when I had the time to learn about life. Knowing life allowed me to do the right thing and make the right decisions from the past to the future. So I will have more control over my life when I get older.

The ones who take the time to know life will live a better life than the ones who don’t. — Annelise Lords

If your heart could speak, what would it say?

I lived how I lived in the past to accommodate the life I want to live in the future if I am alive.

Take the time to know life before you live it.

Thank you for readin this piece. I hope you enjoyed it.