I met my bully years later and this happened...

This blog is written not for sympathy but for awareness and acknowledgement of this issue that surrounds people everyday.

My 10th grade was undoubtedly the most negative year for me. I got bullied in various situations and everyday, I would pray to god that "please not today". I never told my parents or anyone until now because in my society, nobody is supposed to be and shouldn't share personal experiences such as bullying, harassment, abuse, violence and much more. People know these things happen but they are so ignorant towards these issues and treat it like it's normal. Most people make these social issues generalized that others don't think it's bad to do and support things like that. I believe telling and sharing experiences can help other people with providing information, awareness, and bring reflection (basically a wake up call) to people that it's not right that these ordeal circumstances happened to you. Today, I have enough courage to tell everyone that these situations happened to me and I will not let anyone do that to me ever again.

I was a normal student who minds her own business. One day, one male peer proposed me to become his girlfriend and I said "no". It was an important year for me to concentrate on my studies but saying "no" to guy will make my life so hard for upcoming years, I just never saw that coming. He and his group of friends started calling me names, and spread false rumors about me saying that I'm characterless. The whole year, I had two emotions alive; sadness and despair. I got depression and tried to take my life. Not just because of this reason but for one more which is the topic for another discussion. However, they led me to score lowest grade in my entire life. I can't put into words on how disappointed and ashamed I was of myself. I overcame it and transferred to other school. I thought "finally- I'm free from that environment" and then worst scenario happened, some friends of that group came to the school I moved.

"Hell came over my life again"

This time, they said these horrible things in front of other classmates and people who didn't even know me. I used to go for extra tuition classes and people would talk about these disgusting things even there. People would randomly shout names at me in public areas.

"My mind was caged in the crisis"

There was no leaving behind after this much happened, that's what I thought. However, I wanted to live for my parents at least who tried their best to do everything they thought it is right for me.

"I tried my best to survive all those 3 years"

I kept myself positive and thought I will achieve something in the future and show my bullies that things they did to me were not enough to discourage me or to pull me down. After completing my schooling, I entered into girls college cause at that point I was just scared of boys commenting on me. Day by day, I started getting my confidence in achieving things that I didn't have before. People from that group tried to contact me by sending friend requests on my Facebook. I also heard from a friend of mine, who told me that two of the group members started doing drugs. I just laughed that day, I guess even though I moved on at some point but still wanted to know how bad they are doing in their lives.

After college, I decided to go abroad and started going to IELTS coaching to prepare for my English test exam. One day, I was getting out of my coaching center and I saw him, one of the group member who was actively shaming me badly all those 3 years. He came towards me and asked me about myself, you know "normal talk" although there was nothing normal about the situation.

I finally asked him the question I was waiting to ask for 6 years "why he was doing what he was doing back then?" He replied "We were young back then"

And that was it, the reason he and his friends made fun of my life for 3 years. It made me so angry while he was smirking like it was some kind of joke to him. He was the most actively involved in sabotaging my reputation, character in front of so many people. I always thought that he might have a valid reason for what he was doing and now I just felt he was immature not just before but now as well. Then he said to me to be friends with him on Facebook and I just couldn't believe my ears. I brushed the conversation off and left. Later, I saw I got friend request from him. I realized that he still didn't understand the gravity of the situations happened in the past years. Now I say I moved on but that experience has left impression on my brain. It will take me some years to get over it properly but I am proud of myself to overcome those nightmares.

Today, I am no longer motivated to make them show they treated me bad but I am motivated to work for people who have faced worse experiences in their lives.

"At the end, it's me who changed my world, not them"