I Did Not Choose To Be Strong!

I didn’t ask to be strong. As the fourth of six children, I knew and grew up in poverty. I was introduced to hearts packed with cruelty and thoughtlessness thanks to awareness.

I met hearts that kept love out.

Greedy hearts, too.

Sad hearts that don’t know happiness.

I know hearts that can’t heal.

I know hearts as cold as ice.

There were hearts green with envy, too.

All the actions, choices, decisions, and intentions that would ruin my life early. I also knew kindness.

I knew love too.

Although those two didn’t stay long enough for me to learn more, I loved how they made me feel.

I knew the elements and things that could render me weak and what would make me strong. And I hadn’t even touched puberty yet.

Born into poverty by a mother who could not love and care for her children, poverty and the lack of love are the first elements that could render me weak. Life demands I take the time to know myself, my world, and life — in that order.

That’s how my emotional strength grew.

I must know my world to survive and add something positive to it. Thanks to poverty, opportunities don’t find us. We have to go out there and create our own. Creating opportunities was easy for people with innovative, creative imaginations. However, holding on to it demands strength from somewhere deeper than the eyes can see.

Life shows me that the hard part for many humans isn’t achieving success but keeping it.

My determination to succeed strengthens my heart, mind, and soul.

Life, balance, friends, families, foes, destiny, fate, sins of our parents, our actions, choices, and decisions, and Satan will come to test us, forcing us to fight more.

Life also taught me that the kinder I am, the more pain I will endure. I don’t like pain. But I want kindness, so I must give it. Life demands that I give what I want. I outsmarted life by practicing pain management early. I was aware that, as a human, no matter how good I am, my life will never be without pain.

I can imagine the level of pain for the ones who aren’t good.

For certain humans in my life, being kind to them is like watering a dead plant. Kindness and love have no value to them. I also had the pleasure of meeting humans with empty hearts.

—dirty hearts.

Mentally, I became stronger from the hell I had to fight daily from many hearts.

I had an impatient life, so I learned all the above before I was twenty-one.

When I started living, the real battle began. Every direction I turned, there was something or someone to fight. Good or bad decisions, someone wins, and someone loses.

What a horrible world we live in when we are punished for being sensible, caring, kind, honest, smart, patient, understanding, and just damn good. Every human wants good; some want it on their own terms.

Being health conscious helped. Fighting daily does make me physically fit.

That forced me to be strong. Being good shouldn’t harm anyone. Kindness, love, patience, understanding, consideration, and everything else that heals humanity should not harm the giver.

Unfortunately, our world isn’t made up to always gladly accept the good. A fight to present it to humanity must begin first. Cruelty and hatred don’t have to fight to get in. That door doesn’t seem to have many people blocking it.

Knowing life and humanity denied me the reason and opportunity to be weak. I know balance demands to be paid, and with wisdom, I allow Balance its due. Then, I rise stronger from the lessons learned.

With all this knowledge of life and living and lessons learned, how can I be weak?

Life led me to one door—the door of strength. I am strong because life didn’t give me any other choice. — Annelise Lords

If your heart could speak, what would it say?

Aging is another fight, as Balance must do its job.

Thank you for reading this piece. I hope you enjoyed it.