Holiday Balance

Everyone feels differently during the holidays. For some the holidays are sad, lonely and depressing. You might feel hopeless or alone and not know how to navigate those feelings. First of all, you are not alone. Not really. A lot of people spend the holidays by themselves and that’s okay. You just need to find ways to make yourself feel better. Don’t be hesitant to reach out to family and friends. If you don’t have family and friends who live near you, look for support groups or other fun groups you can join. You can also look into volunteering at places that need help serving food or handing blankets and toys out to the less fortunate. You might find that giving to others is more fulfilling than receiving material things for yourself.

Christmas and Hanukkah are approaching quickly. Many people are scrambling to buy presents for others. This year seems different than past years. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that we are still climbing out of a pandemic, the media keeps talking about a tri-demic and the fact that so many people are sick, groceries are way too expensive or if it’s just that people in general are stressed out. The problem is that people in general have forgotten that Christmas and other holidays are a time for people to get together, care for one another, and to reach out to those in need. It’s not about getting material objects, it’s about love, kindness and togetherness. Do you really have to travel all over the place to fulfill your happiness? Do you really need to spend all kinds of money you really can’t afford to spend? No, you do not. You need to find a balance that helps you stay calm and happy, while you are extending kindness to others.

Finding a way to balance yourself during the holidays is very important for your mental and physical health. After all, if you aren’t healthy and happy, how can you spread happiness to others effectively? One of the biggest issues during the holidays is learning to say “no”. That one little word can save you so much grief. Some people get invited to a lot of holiday parties. If you love parties, then great! Go to your parties and enjoy them fully. If you aren’t really into parties and big crowds but you feel obligated to go, just learn to say, “no”. It is perfectly fine for you to decline an invitation. Just say you’re sorry, but you have to decline. You don’t even owe anyone an explanation. For me, I find I get burned out if I do too much running around. Sometimes the younger family members and friends are like the Energizer Bunny, they just go and go until their batteries wear out. My batteries wear out sooner than theirs. Yours might too. Tell yourself that saying no is not a bad thing. It’s a way for you to preserve your health and positive attitude. Do things in moderation. Doing things in moderation is so much healthier for you. There are a lot of fun things you can do over the holidays, especially if you have kids, but you don’t have to do them all at once. Pick a couple things a week or something once a week. Pace yourself.

Another big area that causes people to feel sad and depressed during the holidays is social media. On social media people tend to make their lives look perfect. For the person scrolling by, it may look like the person posting has it all. You might find yourself comparing your own life to other people’s lives; don’t do that. Trust me, I was a publicist for many years and I know how people market themselves. Actually, the posts I like the most are the ones that are relatable and most likely to resemble everyday life. The next time you are scrolling and wishing you had something someone else does, stop yourself, move away from social media and write down three things in your own life that you are truly grateful for. Then, set your phone or computer aside and consciously stay off social media for at least a few hours. Once you get used to doing that, you will find your sadness and depression lessens.

Lastly, find some “me” time. Schedule time for yourself to do something that makes you feel good. Schedule a massage, manicure or pedicure. Yes, even guys get mani - pedis. It feels so good. Take time to read a book, take a bath or a long shower or watch an uplifting movie. Maybe take yourself out to lunch at one of your favorite spots. You could even order in so you can eat your favorite food while watching a favorite movie after taking your long, hot bubble bath.

During the holidays, don’t lose yourself to superficial and ideals of the holiday. Instead, find the balance for yourself. A well balanced you, will thank yourself later. If you have a spouse, partner or kids, they will enjoy you much better. A positive attitude during the holidays will lift that seasonal sadness and who knows, just maybe you will enjoy yourself instead of stressing out. I like to use this reminder:

B - Be brave enough to take time for yourself

A - Allow yourself to say no

L - Love yourself enough to take care of yourself

A - Accept the invitations you want to accept and decline the ones you don’t

N - No is okay to say

C - Care for yourself as much as you do for others

E - Enjoy the holiday season.

Written by: Sue McGaughey

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