"God will not let me live."

In the silence of the night when everyone fell asleep, I looked up at the sky and a phrase came out of my lips:

"God will not let me live."

It was a prayer and a doubt. I was tired in my eyes, a burden on my heart, and it seemed as if the whole universe had gone against me. Sometimes a person breaks so much that life feels punished.

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The scream of a heart

We all come in the moment when we think the world is heavy on us. Someone is suffering from their separation, someone is fighting poverty, some are tired of illness. The heart says:

"Why don't God give me lives?"

This cry has been on the language of human beings for centuries, not just on my lips. Hazrat Ayub also sorrows his birthday. Sufi poetry called God's separation. And even today, millions of hearts repeat this cry in their isolation

The secret of contradiction

This is a strange contradiction. The same God whom we call life -giving, sometimes seems like life is taking away. Why does the disease come? Why is grief given? Why do dreams break?

But perhaps this contradiction is a fact. Maybe God does not give us death, but takes away a false life. A life that is merely the name of breathing, but it is empty. He forces us to descend deep, understand our grief, and find a lesson hidden inside it.

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Internal battle

I also understood that sometimes this phrase also arises from the disease of our mind. Depression convinces man that God is against it too. But in fact it is a heart injury, not God's punishment.

When I first knew that my pain could be psychological, a lamp burned in my heart. I thought: maybe God does not let me live because I just never learned the meaning of living.

Recognition and change

Sofia has said: "Death pre -death." That is, killing your own self, breaking pride, and purifying the heart. Maybe when I say "God will not let me live", it means that God will not let me lie.

My pride was broken, my dreams were scattered, but in those pieces I recognized my origin. God told me:

"You leave the life that is emptying you. I will give you the life that will complete you."

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support of faith The

Believe it, faith is not blind. It is the power that leads the way in the dark. When I said, "God will not let me live", Faith whispered in my ear:

"God is teaching you to live in a new way."

It changes the angle of thinking. Sadness still lasts, but the purpose within the grief begins to appear. This purpose does not break man but makes it.

God won't let me live

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Question of philosophy

Here is also a question: Is life our own or God's grant? If every breath is with the permission of God, then we live by His will and die by His command.

It seems like this phrase - "God will not let me live" - a cry is less and a philosophy is more. It reminds us that we do not own our existence. Our strength is limited, but in the same limitedness a secret is hidden: real freedom is in hand to God.

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The new beginning

When I thought that maybe God was not preventing me from living, but teaching me to live in a new way, my grief slowly turned into light.

I thought the difficulties were actually a message. They have come to tell us that life is not just a breath. Life means to recognize love, sacrifice, sympathy and the original.

Thus I knew that God was not letting me live, but rather forcing me to live.

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Conclusion

Today, when I repeat the same phrase: "God will not let me live", I don't mean the same. Now this is not a call for despair but a declaration of awareness.

I know God will not allow me to live a superficial life, He will force me to go deep, understand the sorrow, and recognize my origin.

Finally, the same phrase that was ever crying, is my prayer today:

"God not let me lie, I teach me to live real life."

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