Funerals — A Heaven For Regrets And Guilt?

Attending the funeral a few days ago, one female created a scene that was shocking and stirred resentment, annoyance, and many looks of anger on the faces of many, including many of her own family members.

Google says that:

A funeral is a ceremony to honor and remember a deceased person. It often involves burial or cremation and can be religious or secular. The goal is to mourn, celebrate the life, and offer support to the bereaved.

The Bible says to be happy at funerals and sad at births. We knew who had left. We don’t know who is coming. This makes sense. Funerals are never a happy place here. Death is a natural part of life. None of us are here forever.

Many humans cry at funerals as if their loved ones should live forever.

That female behaved as if the world had just ended with the death of this person. I glanced at both of them. She isn’t the mother. This lady in the coffin is older. Her method of grief is like a mother grieving for the loss of her young child. Or a mother grieving for her only child and she cannot get pregnant again. She screamed and hollered, grabbing the attention of many annoyed friends of the deceased and other family members.

I knew regrets hurt, but I wasn’t aware it could scream, holler, bawl, and shed tears. That female put on an Oscar-worthy performance.

Later, I learned it wasn’t regret. It was guilt.

Guilt for how cruel and thoughtless she was to her mother. How disrespectful and mean she was to the woman who risked her life to bring her into this world. She was grieving as if she was the best child for her mother. As if she loved her more than the rest. The woman who carried her in her womb for nine months. Now, she will never get a second chance to say goodbye, apologize to her, and beg forgiveness. That kind of pain sensible people refuse to live with. A good-hearted mother will always forgive her child.

According to their family and what was said about her at the funeral, she was a wonderful human being. All six of her children became successful. That is not a small feat for a mother living and raising children in a developed country where poverty controls most lives. She must move hell, heaven, and mountains to attain that victory.

Gratitude should be what children return.

I give my mother gratitude for the good and bad. Both took me to where I wanted to go, giving me the power to make sensible life decisions. Many loved their destination but detested the journey. Unaware that the knowledge, wisdom, and understanding of life and love you gain from your journey will allow you to stay at your beloved destination. You must love both.

In our culture, we say, ‘You only have one mother. Love and respect her while she is alive. Please don’t wait until she dies. Then, create a scene at her funeral, giving others the impression that you cared so much for her. Appreciate her while she is alive now!’

I really hate going to funerals because they are packed with so much regret and unhappiness. All they talk about is what could have happened, what should have happened, and what didn’t happen. Regrets pour from the heart to the eyes, sending all of us into our past, changing facial expressions, and allowing sadness to stay. It takes days after these funerals for many of us to get back to normal.

We have to find ways to heal and recover.

If your heart could speak, what would it say?

Give the best to your loved ones while they are alive and can appreciate it.

Thank you for reading this piece. I hope you enjoy it.

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