Fifty and Fearless

Every year on December 31 the clock strikes midnight and we think about what we want next.

In years past for me it might’ve been a weight loss or running goal. Perhaps it was to write more. Read one book a month; start a blog. Land that part-time job at the art studio I had my eyes on and reconnect to my art. While these have all been monumental goals through the years, this year feels very different. This year I’m hitting a milestone in my journey.

I’m turning 50.

This year feels incredibly pivotal. With one foot planted in the vibrant unintentional chaos of the past, and the other boldly planted into this time in my life where I feel like I’m just truly coming into the truth of my existence as a woman, it feels like profound self-actualization. Richer. More meaningful. Deeper. And much more feminine. Like true Divine Feminine power.

It feels like the second half of the game. I’m seeing things differently. Viewing through a lens of incredible wisdom. Clothing myself in layers of worthiness and self empowerment that I hadn’t grown into until now. I’ve been more introspective and connected to my desires, emotions, and feelings than ever before. I’ve been thinking a lot about how I can inspire others and leave a legacy of belief for them to follow when they get here. Or perhaps adopt these ideas and aspirations I have myself at an even earlier age. Leaving breadcrumbs to follow wrapped in delicate blankets of purpose.

I started working on the foundation for my goals for this year many years ago without knowing. And then the full idea of them dropped in and bloomed in my mind around summertime last year.

A couple of years ago I asked myself how I wanted to celebrate my 50th birthday. I’ve never been married and I have no children so I first envisioned this incredible party on the West Coast - with all my friends who meant the world to me. Envisioning my favorite DJ spinning and me dining in various Michelin star restaurants. But then as I thought more about it, that didn't feel aligned.

My next thought was to do 5 trips in 2025 for my big 5-0 - and I started making a list of the places I wanted to visit.

But something changed shortly after my 49th birthday. You see, I'm a fitness trainer. I’m very fit. And last year I woke up one day feeling like I was in a different body. Perimenopause hit. Despite how clean I ate, despite how hard I worked out, I gained a ton of weight overnight and felt horrible when I saw myself in photos. The crazy thing is that most of my clients are women over 40 who had already started experiencing the same thing. But until I was experiencing it myself, I couldn’t begin to know how it felt.

I saw a photo of myself just after my last birthday and made a decision. Perimenopause wouldn’t define me - I absolutely could still have the body I wanted. I began to devour everything I could and study people who had defied this thing that society tells you you have to accept. I started experimenting on myself first in the gym with new forms of workouts and eliminating certain foods that never gave me trouble before. And lo and behold I was able to crack the code. I released 18 lbs between May and November.

Around this time - I realised that only 23% of Americans workout. Damn! What a low number. I started bringing awareness to clients through writing a weekly newsletter. I was proud of myself that I was in that 23%. I’ve always exercised coming from a 16 year figure skating background as a kid and having numerous fitness certifications under my belt.

In addition, I have been working on paying debts down the last few years and through that commitment and studying financial gurus I read that only 23% of Americans are debt free.

A thought came to mind….I'm already in the exercise group. What if by the end of 2025 I was in the debt-free group too.

With the rise of inflation and fifty approaching, I could buy into fear that as a woman it’s just going to keep getting worse and harder for me. But I won’t do that. With all the mindset work I do and my background as a certified life coach, personal trainer, and an artist who always thinks outside the box, I knew what my goal and aspiration for 2025 would be.

Forget a big party. Forget 5 trips. What do you truly want to give yourself Jen? How do you want to feel in your 50th year on Earth?

I want freedom. I want to feel sexy. I want to have an income that blows my mind.

And I decided in that moment that parties and trips can wait.

I saw what I truly wanted for myself in 2025.

I want to be debt-free. I want to be Fit AF. And I want to double my income.

Despite only 23% of Americans being debt/free. Despite being in perimenopause. Despite being a woman nearing an age where they say it’s hard to make an income.

2025

Debt-free

Fit AF

Double my income.

The past few years paved this path. In 2019 I went through a life-coaching certification program which really opened up my mind to what’s possible for me. Dozens of women with all different ages and backgrounds were in my graduating class with ideas of how they could use this certification to create more for themselves.

I had hired my first business/life coach in 2013 and worked with coaches for 6 years before going through the process myself. Next, I made a career change. In 2020 I left the restaurant business after 29 years and took with me a great deal of transferable skills. I believe that working in fine dining for about 20 of those years really helped me to learn to be detail oriented and think about the small things that make a huge difference.

In fine dining you’re always asking yourself how you can create the most memorable experiences for your guests by paying attention to the small details. I now do that for my own life. Going through perimenopause humbled me as a personal trainer. I had to throw everything I knew out the window. Because everything I knew or did on my 20-30 and even 40 year old body wasn’t working anymore. I had to be willing to admit I needed new tools. Because I was in a body that had a different physiology than the one I was previously in.

I also came out of some pretty heavy debt the last few years. I didn't grow up with much financial literacy, so I learned everything I could about finances. In 2021 I also reconnected with my love of painting after years of being on a hiatus. Only this time I had loads more belief in myself and so I actually created a second income with my art to cushion my full-time job. That’s what brought me here believing that yes, I can be debt-free. And yes I can be Fit AF. And yes, I can double my income. What better year to do it than 2025 - the 50th year of my life?

There’s been trials and errors as I started working on these things after I got clear on my goal last summer. I had two debts left and I was sure I was going to pay the second to last one off by December 31 and I was sure it would come through partnering with businesses for paint and sips.

I didn’t pay it off that day and it didn’t come from where I thought it would. In fact I hit a lot of adversity as I was pitching these events to businesses starting last summer. Promises not delivered, businesses going with competitor artists, businesses postponing start dates. I could’ve thrown in the towel but my belief is strong and my ability to adapt is even stronger. I paid the second to last debt off the first week of January and the money came in a different creative way.

I just keep focusing on what I want to feel and I take massive inspired action.

This debt-free goal is not about numbers. It’s about reclaiming my life. It’s about not being a slave to credit cards, student loans, car loans, or any other accumulating interest hanging over my head and weighing me down. Being debt-free feels like space in my body to take a full breath. It feels like defying what society makes you believe life has to be. It feels like having freedom to invest in things that truly matter and feel like purpose.

Bring fit AF isn’t about looking good in my swimsuit. This is about doing things that people say you can’t. I was drafting a potential “Nifty 50” list of fitness goals to hit this year. Hula hooping 50 minutes straight. 50 pushups. 50 minutes of trampoline jumping, 50 minutes of rowing, etc. The list is still being refined but then I was thinking of a time limit to get it done. It’s not about how I look, it's about what my body is capable of and how empowered that makes me feel.

I love to dance more than life and I want to still be able to get on planes to see my favorite DJs perform and crush it on the dance floor for five hours straight. I want to still be able to travel to amazing places and do a 12-15 mile hike that doesn’t phase me.

I follow tons of fitness influencers in their 70s, 80s and 90s and these people inspire me. Because they show me constantly what’s possible and I hope to show others the same. I’m already showing clients that they can defy perimenopause and menopause.

Doubling my income. Why the hell not. I think my biggest motivator for this (other than I deserve it) is inflation. But I’m not focusing on inflation and complaining about it. When 2020 hit, my life coach training company Inner Glow circle had a motto - created by founder Katie DePaola: Pivot or panic.

Does inflation suck? Yes. Does focusing on it change anything? No. So what am I going to do about it? Every month I ask myself, “How can I make more and live on less?” And that’s basically what I’m doing. I cut back on spending and find easier ways of doing things while I find additional ways to increase my income. And it’s made such a huge difference. I want this to be a year where I’m creating a life that reflects my worth. And it’s not about hustling harder. It’s about working smarter, raising standards, taking bigger risks and chances and putting myself out there as much as humanly possible. The closer I get to 50 the more bold I get in my asks. I even have a friend that nicknamed me “Ask for what you want Jen.”

As I prepare to enter 2025 - and the impactful half-century mark - I’m not just setting goals; I’m creating a blueprint for a life filled with intention and bliss. By committing to being debt-free, fit as f*ck, and doubling my income, I’m embracing the gifts I deserve in this exciting second half of life and I’m advocating for them as a gift to my inner child.

So, here’s to kicking off this very personal New Year with 100% dedication, celebrating the wisdom of age, and gifting myself the freedom, health, and prosperity I’ve always deserved. I hope I can inspire others to jump on board and see what’s possible in their own lives through my journey. After all, life isn’t just about counting the years; it’s about making those years count.

Cheers to 2025!