Fear

There is a song that I’m sure is familiar to many of you. It is called “Let there be Peace on Earth”. Every time I hear that song I think of my nephew Jason. Many years ago, when he was in preschool, he was chosen to sing this song as a solo. There is an adorable video of him singing this song through tears. Those tears were tears of fear and insecurity. He did not let that stop him, he continued and finished the song. No small feat for a three-year-old. It may seem inconsequential and merely cute. Cute it was, however I believe that it was much more than that.

Our culture strongly guards against facing our fears. I recently learned from a college professor that there is something called “trigger words” or “phrases”. A professor must warn his or her students that something they plan to talk about may be uncomfortable or cause negative feelings. The student then can decide to stay or leave the lecture. This is how absurd things have become! We do everything that we can to avoid dealing with or facing our fears. And we are condoning that avoidance in our children. Rather than teaching our children what they need to survive in this world, we are teaching them that they should not have to deal with those negative feelings. This does them a great disservice, and I believe is part of why anxiety had reached epidemic levels. Unaddressed fear turns into anger. The current pulse of this country shows that anger is also at a consistently high level for many people.

I challenge you to think about what your worse fear is. Is it being alone? Is it a fear of death? As uncomfortable as it is to think about this, if you do, I guarantee that you will not increase your fear but learn to live with it. A benefit of doing this is that usually it puts into perspective whether that fear is something that we can change or something that we cannot change. If we embrace our fear instead of pushing it away, we can come to terms with it.

I remember distinctly even though it was over thirty years ago, what a friend of mine said about fear. It surprised me then but it makes sense now. He had lost his 16-year-old daughter in a car accident. About a year after the accident he said to me “You know the worst thing that I could have imagined has happened already. I am not afraid of anything anymore”. He noted that he survived the worst scenario that he could have imagined, and that this made him feel stronger. Still grieving, yes. Still missing his daughter of course. But he had a “bring it on” attitude when it came to looking at his fear of the future.

We don’t have to wait until we are forced to face our worst fear. Believe me, that day will come at some point. In the meantime, we can approach Peace if we do face our fears. The peace that begins with ME and YOU. The wisdom of a three-year-old can teach us that we need to push forward even through fear. The results are wonderful!

Fear is what terrorists and authoritarians count on. Wouldn’t it be a different world if they did not have that fear to prey on? It is up to each and every one of us to counteract the extremism in our country and in the world by relinquishing fear. And the only way to do that is to face it.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt famously said “We have nothing to fear but fear itself”. And I believe he was so right! The anger in this country that finds its source in fear is at epidemic levels. That is difficult for many people to acknowledge. But allow me to give an example of it. Much of the propaganda around the far-right extremist movement is the so-called replacement theory. That is that given equal standing minorities will replace the white male power system in place right now. Minorities fear for their lives and wellbeing. There is enough fear to go around. Let’s call it what it is and be done with carrying the underlying anger that erodes us from the inside out.

Peace is not an easy journey. And to quote the second line from the song, “Let there be peace on Earth, AND LET IT BEGIN WITH ME”, it is even a more difficult task to focus on ourselves and see our role in bringing peace. It really is simple, but not easy. It is to look within at our own fear, even if we say we have no fear. I believe anyone who says that is not being honest with themselves. It takes, as John Lennon might say, imagination. The ability to imagine our country under a different narrative. One of collaboration rather than competition. It is not easy!

We can all take a lesson from my nephew and understand that even if the fear brings tears, it does not mean we cannot continue to do what we are determined to do! Tears are stronger than a pumping fist. Because courage is not fearlessness, it is the willingness to face your fears. And the person who says sure, I’ll do that as soon as the other person does, is missing the point. Because waiting for others to bring change to this country is not going to happen. We the people have to do it, one by one. Please join those who find peace by facing fear square in the face!!