Faith

I knelt and took a long devastating breath. I held on to the dirt in my palm for as long as I possibly could. Amongst the soil were a few pebbles as well, one which stood out in particular. I gazed at it for a minute and finally drew my attention away from it. I had not gripped onto soil like this since I was a kid, so the texture was a little uneasy to my hand. I felt incredibly lost. I couldn't help the various thoughts and emotions that crossed paths inside of my head and heart. The moment was undoubtedly overwhelming. Regardless of how much of a burden these feelings were, they all felt right at the moment. I stood up and stared one last time at the roses that lay across. Finally, I released the dirt. I watched it drop over the flowers as it spread across the coffin. I knew that today was going to be a day that I would never forget.

A year had passed since my dear cousin perished. In between that time period, I went through life's roller coaster with the ups and downs. Unfortunately, there came a time where the roller coaster malfunctioned, and there were no more ups in life. No technical support existed for this glitch in the system, and I had no choice but to stay down. Every time that I tried to regain a clear path, I was struck down. Due to stress, I went through a lack of sleep for quite some time.

I remember being extremely exhausted one morning and taking a nap almost immediately after I ate. I instantly began to dream as soon as lay my head to rest. Before you know it, I was up and awake again. I don't quite remember dreaming but for some reason, a mysterious image flashed in my mind throughout the day. What the image was, I wasn't sure at the moment.

Another sleepless night crept in that day, and so to ease my mind, I decided to take a drive, which had then lead to me shopping at the nearest superstore that was open 24hours. As I walked around and window shopped in the facility, something startled me. One of the racks holding up pen packets suddenly came off the hinge on its own, and it dropped every single bag that it was carrying. Feeling like an immediate suspect, I walked away as fast as I could so that nobody would think it was me, and when I reached the end of the isle, another rack holding notebooks also fell. I knew everybody heard that, so I picked up the pocket-sized notebooks and put as many back as possible. I did not want employees to think that I was out there destroying things on purpose. A worker finally arrived and assisted me. I decided to avoid awkward suspicion, so I went ahead and purchased one of the notebooks with the little money that I had. I left the store right after.

I walked away feeling more stressed than I had felt when I arrived there. I replayed the situation over and over in my head as I started the engine to exit the parking lot. Complete BS -I said to myself. Without noticing, a figure randomly approached me.

"Oh dang, you scared me!" I said through the window.

The figure stood staring at me and disregarded my reaction. I stared him right back. Through a quick visual, I could tell that the person was a homeless man. Neither he nor I shifted eye contact. What does he want from me? -I questioned myself. I could have just ignored him and left but the good in me did not allow that to happen. I decided to roll down the window carefully.

"What's up, man? You good?"

He immediately picked up his hands to gesture that he meant no harm. He finally spoke out.

"Sorry to frighten you, sir. I come in peace. I was just wondering if you could spare some change."

I immediately remembered how broke I was when I entered. All I had to my name was the change inside of the store bag, along with the notebook I purchased.

"I've been out here all night, and I have nothing to my name. Nobody has helped me. I'm hurting here. Would you mind giving me anything that you can?"

I slowly looked down and thought it through. He needs it more than I do -I contemplated. I handed him the bag.

"All that I have is literally in this bag, but you can have it. There's also an item in there. If it serves you good, you can have that too," I said. I searched around in the vehicle's compartment for a pen. "Here, something to write with."

The homeless man searched inside the bag and saw that there were about seventeen dollars and change, as well as a little black notebook.

"Seriously, sir?" he replied.

"Yea, no worries. I know the money will assist you and hopefully if the notebook will as well. In case you need it or get bored. Maybe you can use it as a journal or whatever." I quickly thought it through and turned my head away. Idiot, what's he going to write about? He's homeless! -I said to myself.

"As a matter of fact, this is what I need. I've needed to write down so many thoughts, emotions...Ideas...This will help. Of course, the money will too. You are too kind for that. Most people usually give out change and rarely a dollar. You gave me the last of your cash. Wow. Are you sure, sir?"

I immediately felt good about his words. I thought I had made a great mistake by giving him all that I had, but that made it all better.

"Hey, you're welcome. As humans, we have to look after each other. We can all use the help sometimes. Don't worry about me, I'll figure it out."

The homeless man smiled through his bushy beard and shook his head in agreement. "You know I...I could use some good company from time to time. If you wouldn't mind hanging tomorrow for a good talk, you can meet me here." He clicked open the pen and the notebook and jotted something down. When he was done, he tore out the paper and handed it to me. Then he smiled and continued with his journey. I watched as he slowly walked away.

It read: *11915 Purified Street. 3pm*

On the way bottom, it had:

*One good deed, saves one good bleed*

Hm -I thought. I put the note away and finally drove off.

I made it home safely that night, and the next morning I woke up feeling different. I also realized that the image that had flashed in my head since my nap was a notebook. The coincidence was unreal. After getting ready for the day, I decided to change my routine. Instead of beating myself up and letting the worst get the best of me, I thought I'd be more positive-minded. To my surprise, the stress seemed to have disappeared momentarily. Everything seemed to be okay. I felt that perhaps the system glitch was fixed, and the roller coaster was finally on the verge of ascending. While I'm at it, I'm going to keep this man company for the day -I thought.

I journeyed my way toward the address that he wrote down. At first, I figured that it would be close-by the superstore since that's where I had last seen him, but I was wrong. I traveled several miles until I finally arrived. The location was decent-looking -very well maintained. No way, I don't think he wrote it down correctly. I hope I didn't take the risk of running out of gas for nothing.

To avoid looking foolish, I decided not to enter the building and remain parked in the front parking lot. Just then, the security of the facility approached me.

"Can I help you, sir? Do you have an appointment?"

I couldn't even tell him who I was waiting on because I never caught a name. How was I even supposed to ask for this man? "No..No, uh, I'm just waiting on somebody. Thank you."

"One good deed, saves one good bleed," he replied.

"Wait...What?"

The security officer chuckled aloud and said, "Follow me, if you will, please." He opened my vehicle door and gestured that I come out and follow him. Baffled by the circumstances, I decided to proceed go with the flow and follow the man. We walked until there was a circular lobby area, and when we arrived, I was offered to take a seat. "He'll be right with you."

I shook my head in agreement. Who? What the heck am I getting myself into here? Where the heck is the homeless guy. And what's up with this one good deed saves on good bleed, talk?

I was too concerned to evaluate my surroundings that I failed to notice the gentleman sitting across the room. He was reading one of the magazines from the book stands. I stared at him and wondered if he knew what was going on here. He looked up and noticed me staring and spoke out.

"This is all garbage."

I wasn't sure if he was talking to me, but I still responded.

"That what?"

"This...It's all garbage," he repeated. He slammed the magazine down on the coffee table in front of him. He stood up and spoke out again.

"These people don't even care," he gestured at the magazine. "Nothing is genuine." He put his hands over his hips and stared at me.

I wasn't sure how to react, so I just slowly turned my attention away to ignore him. The gentleman then made his way toward me. I locked eyes with him until he sat right next to me. I scooched back in case he would approach me in an altercation. He sat down looking forward, hands locked and slouched over -staring ahead. I evaluated him quickly to try and determine if he was a threat. He had on a light blue suit, nice shoes, and a nice watch on his wrist.

"But good thing..." He paused for a second, staring into space. "Good thing for people like you." he continued. "There is hope." The gentleman pulled out a pen from his pocket and then paused his words. The mysterious man clicked the pen a few times and looked me in the eye again.

That tone of voice. The look his eyes gave. It was suddenly becoming clear. He was the homeless man from the night before.

"I took your advice and began a new journal." He pointed at the coffee table, and there was the notebook."Take a look." I got up and checked.

It read: *$20,000 -Good deed #1*

"We bleed emotionally every day. You never know who you're saving with a good deed."

Then I noticed the peculiar little rock that was next to the little black book. It looked just like the one I had palmed one year ago.

"My name is Noah Jacob. I'm a billionaire. This is one of my buildings. I have this thing where I give back to society in a good way, to those deserving. So I dress up as a homeless to humble myself and every person that helps me, I decide to help them back far greater. Usually, it's a few hundred or so, but you..You deserve greater."

"Did you do that at the store, knocking the notebooks down? And where did you get this rock?"

"No clue what you're talking about, honest truth. And that rock was my father's lucky pebble. He gave it to me year ago."

I stood in shock. I had no words. "You have no idea how this all connects to me."

"Consider it Faith." he said. "So tell me, what will you do with $20,000?" he asked.

"...Help people..."