Decisive and Undecisive

Wounded souls struggle to make decisions because their nervous system is filled with fear.

Every choice feels heavy. Every decision comes with a question mark. They constantly doubt themselves — What if it’s the wrong choice?

They hesitate. They overthink. They delay. They freeze.

Because deep down, their body remembers pain..Their heart carries stories of being shamed, judged, ignored, and unloved.

That’s why, even when the wife puts effort into the relationship — planning, nurturing, giving —the wounded man doesn’t feel loved.

He feels suspicious. He wonders...Why is she doing this? What does she want from me?

Not because he doesn’t love her — but because he doesn’t feel safe to receive love.

And the wounded woman? She overgives. She tries harder. She exhausts herself proving she’s worthy of being chosen. She bends, adjusts, pleases, and stays quiet — not because she’s weak, but because somewhere in her past, love meant abandoning herself to be accepted.

She thinks....If I do more… maybe this time I’ll be enough.

This is trauma bonding, not love. The same patterns show up everywhere. Planning a trip becomes a struggle.

What if it’s not good?

What if something bad happens?

What if these people can’t be trusted?

Maybe this is a scam?

That’s the first thought that comes up for many wounded souls. They’ve been betrayed before.

They’ve been lied to, used, manipulated....sometimes by the very people who were supposed to protect them.

So now, even when something genuine shows up… They don’t feel excitement — they feel suspicion.

Their nervous system doesn’t feel safety. It feels threat.

Is this real?

Is this person trying to take advantage of me?

What if I lose money? What if I get hurt again?

These thoughts don’t come from logic.

They come from old pain. From moments when they trusted too soon. From childhood when love came with betrayal.

So now, instead of leaning into possibility, they pull away and build walls.

But here’s the truth —Not everything is a scam.

Some things are sacred.

Some people really are here to help.

Some programs, some spaces, some hands — are safe.

But to feel that….You have to slow down.

Breathe. And ask not from fear, but from your soul....What does my body say? What does my intuition say?

Because fear screams. But your soul whispers.

And if your soul is whispering. This is what you need. Then maybe… it’s not a scam. Maybe it’s your breakthrough.

Their mind creates danger, even in joy..Their heart resists peace, because it has never truly known it.

They live in a constant inner battle. And one day, they break. They crash into their truth:

They are filled with fear. They carry suppressed rage. They operate from control, manipulation, and anxiety. They inherited the survival blueprint of their childhood — shaped by emotional absence, abuse, criticism, or chaos.

They find themselves repeating narcissistic patterns — not because they chose it,

but because it was all they ever saw.

They don’t know any other way. Because no one ever told them...You are allowed to feel. You are allowed to be safe. You don’t have to perform for love anymore.

It’s not their fault..It’s their childhood wounds.

They were never taught how to trust..They were never held in unconditional love..They were never told, “You’re safe to just be.”

But healing...Healing changes everything.

Only deep healing can help them become better men and women. Because healing reconnects them to their truth, their essence, their original innocence.

It brings them home — back to their soul, back to their heart, back to who they were before the world told them they weren’t enough.

And when you finally come home to yourself —

You stop asking everyone else for permission.

You stop living to be liked. You start listening to your soul. You begin to trust your own knowing.

If your soul whispers, This is worth it.

Then please, trust that voice. Say yes to it.

Take that step.

Because one day, You will look back and say...

Thank you...Because that was the moment everything began to shift.

By

Muhammad Younas