Creation: A Ballet

I have been dancing for 16 years. Ballet was an accidental passion, a fluke of an interest really. My mom signed me up without warning when I was 11 and I was not super happy at first. I had to wear pink! But I quickly fell in love with the hard work and dedication the art requires. I trained at an incredible faith-based studio in Fairbanks, Alaska; Miss Rebecca's Ballet Praise.

All of the performances at this studio are Christian stories or music with the purpose to Feed those in Need, taking food donations in lieu of paid tickets. This studio has been a blessing in my life since the day it opened. Not to say there hasn't been hardships, difficult parents, friends who didn't turn out so friendly, etc. At the heart of everything was a God-honoring dance studio and director.

I have two great passions in life; teaching and choreography. I have been working as a ballet teacher for over a decade and it is the most fulfilling and fun work I can imagine. However, it doesn't always scratch that creative itch. A little over ten years ago I was tossing around some ideas for an original show with my mother and we landed on one that really stuck.

The Seven Days of Creation.

Then, the idea hibernated, pushed the side for other jobs, crazy life happenings, and a general lack of time. The studio director was aware of this idea and encouraged me not to let it drift too far away, as did my mom. Then, last year, the conversation happened.

"Do you want to set Creation into motion?"

Wow. I wasn't sure, honestly. I had choreographed little pieces for my main job but never a full-length cohesive show with varying age ranges and abilities. So, I prayed. I asked her to pray. I asked everyone to pray. The answer was a resounding 'Yes, it is time.'

My answer was, 'Ok God, this is in your hands. Point me in a direction.'

He pointed me in three; music, choreography, and costumes.

~Music~

Music was a massive struggle. I spent hours and hours combing through instrumental songs, kids music, Christians songs, trying to line up tolerable melodies to the different creations. I had to put so much trust in God to lead me in the right direction, completely overwhelmed by choices and the time commitment. There would pieces I loved that didn't build enough, that weren't cohesive with the music on either side of the piece.

When I found my music for the separation of Light and Dark, it made everything else so much easier. I spent an hour in the studio trying out various versions of Vivaldi's Winter until I found the one that resonated, the one that brought images and clips of possible choreography. I had truly started the process.

Fidning the music for the little kids was exponentially more difficult. It had to be something cohesive, a song I liked, and something they could realistically dance to. It quickly became the most frustrating part.

I realized that everything I was looking for, all my criteria, was centered on me. God was nudging me to take a step back, to let Him take over. When I relinquished control, prayed for my search to be led to the correct songs, everything fell into place. After a lot of refining, I had my rough show list.

Editing the music was the next huge boulder in the path. I am not technically gifted and, honestly, I do not care to learn much more than I already know. I'm lucky enough to be connected to a great group of teachers on Facebook so I put out my project and asked for bids for editing the whole show.

The bids were...varied. One man wanted to charge me $120 (Wow, how reasonable!)... per song (car crash sound effects here). For a crowd-funded show that realistically mostly came out of my own pocket, that was so out of the realm of what would work.

I did eventually find someone. The situation was not perfect. He was late getting everything back to me and asked for more money because of it. Looking back I realized that I had prayed over everything that I was in control of, but I had neglected to surrender the outsourcing to God. Maybe the process could have gone smoother? Maybe that was a lesson in itself. Maybe God wants me to learn how to edit my own music (I hope that's not the case...)

~Choreography~

Oh, thank God. The fun part. The part I'm good at. It was time to put all the dances together. All. Eleven. Dances.

The amount of prayer, the hours spent in the studio, the isolation of being the only person able to really do this part... it was daunting. I had so much support and help through this whole process but no one could tell me what to do after the pirouette in Birds.

I had asked my husband if he would like to perform as a guest artist with me for the Adam and Eve piece. The studio didn't have any older boys at the time and I wanted to include this piece for obvious reasons.

My husband is an incredible dancer who had retired from the stage several years before to pursue a different career. I was asking a lot from him. I was asking for time, energy, body aches, and, most importantly, to join me in the crazy journey I had started. He said yes.

The pressure to choreograph a duet for us set in. I don't have a lot of experience choreographing for men and partnering, though I have watched hours and hours of beautiful pas de deux from the big studios. Not only did my husband trust me to put together something beautiful, but we both had to trust God to get our bodies through it. It was the first time either of us had performed in years.

This part was the easiest to work through though. It was what the whole project had really started with. I just loved setting steps to music and seeing it all come together.

~Costumes~

If there's one thing I'm bad at, it's sewing.

It simply makes no sense to me. The patterns, the measurements, it's all gibberish. This was probably to easiest part to just give up to God because I truly had no other option. He surrounded me with the most helpful dance moms I have ever met.

It was all volunteer work, every stitch that went into the difficult, stretchy fabric. These women showed up and took my vague ideas and transformed them into functional costumes. The kids helped so much too, showing up to huge work parties to hot glue sun rays onto headbands for hours. It was a studio-wide effort getting over a hundred kids into mostly handmade costumes.

~The Result~

The last couple weeks leading up to the performance were nail-biting and anxiety filled. I should have been better at trusting God that everything was together, it was all working out. All the last-minute details were crowding my brain, theater week madness wearing down my muscles, so many people asking me questions and needing answers.

My husband helped keep me on track. He was comforting and pointed me back to the trust that I had worked so hard to learn. The trust that God always followed through on.

The performance day arrived and everything went exactly as it should have. We collected so much food to donate, no huge accidents on stage, I could still walk at the end of it. The amount of love the audiences gave the shows was so intensely overhwhelming. I was incredibly proud of all the kids who had danced and so thankful for every helping hand that brought it together.

I had put together my first show. The amount of lessons learned through this process is too much to lay out here but the main one is clear; Trust. Trust that God had given me the tools and the drive to tackle this. Trust that the people in my life would lift me up and fill in the blank spots in my abilities. Trust that this was all for a purpose bigger than myself.

Since the show, I will catch myself slipping into the illusion of control. I'll just chug along on my own strength, thinking that I am the only one working here. God has been kind enough to nudge me gently to bring me back to that trust He taught me earlier this year. The freedom that comes with that trust is so wonderful.