Common Courtesy During Loss

Wednesday September 15-one month and seven days since my buddy, my dad took his last breath. I remember because that Sunday morning he woke up calling on God to take him home. August 8, 2021 was a bittersweet day. But that doesn’t have to be when someone you love passes on.

You might be wondering what can I do to comfort someone with COVID-19 going on? You’re leery about dropping by because you don’t want to make anyone sick. You don’t have money to send flowers because you lost your job. And, you haven’t spoken to or seen the family in years so you’re just not sure how to break the ice. Well, I have a few ideas that might spark your interest.

While it’s common courtesy to pay respect to the beloved and the family by attending the funeral or memorial service, some simply can’t due to financial reasons or COVID-19 health concerns. It can make the family of the deceased feel very alone in their grief but there are still things you can do to ease some of it for them. Funeral homes may be overbooked but your heart doesn’t have to be when it comes to expressing sympathy and condolences at such a precious time.

For those who have a tough time with finding the right words to say, you can send a card. Since my dad passed, I haven’t gotten not one card. It’s such a small thing, I guess with all the COVID-19 restrictions people forgot it’s an even more important thing to feel thought of. Hallmark has made sending cards easier with Sign and Send. You don’t have to run to the store or dash to the post office. You write on a piece of paper your message, snap a picture of it, and it’s imprinted inside your card! It’s all online and contactless.

Maybe cards aren’t your thing. Maybe you’re like me and you prefer to send memorial gifts other than just the typical enlarged photo of the deceased-which often has the unintended effect of making me cry when I look at it, but you’re a little tight on money. No worries. Church Supplier has lots of beautiful jewelry, keepsake coins, and urns-many under $10. When you consider that COVID-19 caused some to have to die alone at the hospital, a piece of jewelry that rests close to the heart is a huge respite to someone whose only wish was to say goodbye. And loss makes everything feel so final. Your gift might just let the remaining loved ones know it’s ok to move on from sadness to joy. But you never know unless you order! They ship and give you the option to leave order instructions as well.

Perhaps you have enough to spend on flowers but you’re still wanting to save. I don’t blame you. I just spent $70 to have flowers delivered to the funeral home and placed on my biological mom’s grave for her birthday. It’s expensive even to use a local florist. Well, the Bouqs Company has that covered by offering monthly flower subscriptions for as little as $36-half of what I paid. You get 10-16 stems of flowers they choose and you get them with free shipping! They take the guesswork out which flowers to pick and you have the freedom to change or cancel your subscription.

Like Johnny Depp said in the quote, it’s not weakness that makes us cry. It’s feeling like we have to be strong all the time. You might know someone experiencing a loss right now, be it their loved one, their job or simply their joy. Be uncommon in an ordinary world and show you care. It’s simple but rare. If you don’t know how, try something I have suggested here.