Breaking the Cage of Negative Thoughts: They Say, You Listen
Personal Journey
Our brain is a factory of never-ending thoughts and ideas. These thoughts definitely come to mind, as this is what the mind is supposed to do, but it is up to us to decide how long we want to retain these thoughts.
I find myself eligible to write on this topic because I remained in despair for a long time, struggling with my own prevailing thoughts and the emotional setbacks caused by them. I am not wrong to say that I victimized myself further by retaining the words of others in my mind.
Words have a profound impact on the thought processes of individuals; rather, thinking is often directed by the environment around us.
Our words have power. They impact others, but they also impact us. ~ Michael Hyatt
Still, with mental control, the deeper impacts of thoughts can be avoided. After many failures, I have succeeded in adopting strategies to resist—if not completely nullify—the traces of pinching memories and cut down the impact of hurtful words said to me.
I do this in the moment, without wasting precious moments of my life—moments that can instead be invested in my personal development.
It is part of human interaction to receive a lot of judgments and views that normally do not match our level of taste. No matter what you think about it or say, this is the real test we have to pass: living among people with different thoughts and opinions.
I am a person with an optimistic approach, but the natural process of the brain to produce thoughts became quite challenging for me at a certain stage in life.
The positive self successfully combated negative views given by others a couple of times but gave up the majority of the time due to the overwhelming noise of the thought processes.
I finally adopted a couple of strategies by investing time on my personal development.
1. Motivation to Change Myself
I cannot change the people around me, but I can change myself. I figured out the exact changes I needed to make to avoid the toxicity of the words said to me. People say what they think is right, but the problem lies at the receiver's end.
It brought a sense of responsibility on my part to control my emotions. I cannot change what others say to me, but I can control what I say to myself.
2. Silence the Mind
There is no mind that is totally thoughtless at any moment. Even during sleep, the mind is functional, and we have dreams based on present and past experiences. I found it best to mute the mind for just five minutes as soon as any negative thought or comment arises.
The intensity of the comment diminishes. If the thought keeps coming back, repeating this practice has proven to be a game-changer.
3. Value of Thought
Any thought that comes to mind gains value with focus. As soon as a negative thought arises, we worry about it, forgetting our own existence.
Thus, highlighting the thought in the mind allows it to gain control over all other thoughts, and sometimes our whole reality becomes encapsulated in that thought. Ignoring the thought as soon as it arises is likely to replace it with other thoughts.
The constantly changing scenarios, environment, and moods based on situations bring modifications in thoughts. Picking up any thought and lingering on it was the wrong choice, but I have almost, if not completely, rectified this behavior.
4. Daily Affirmations
Every morning, as I wake up, I thank God for my life even before opening my eyes. I express gratitude for the lives of my family members and all the blessings in my life. I fill my heart with positivity for a successful day.
Similarly, before going to bed, I practice the same routine. I listen to positive messages that can influence my subconscious mind. I solemnly believe this shields my mind from internalizing the negative energies I encounter throughout the day.
5. Meditation
Meditation for three to five minutes daily, whenever possible, helps me experience solitude and calmness. It enables me to practice mindfulness, keeping my mind focused on the present rather than drifting into the past or future.
Meditation helps me connect with myself and God directly. It inspires my inner self toward self-accountability and directs my mind toward a positive outlook.
6. Breathing Exercise
Deep breathing exercises in a calm position are a soothing technique. With every inhalation, I take in positivity, and with every exhalation, I release the dark energies passed on by others.
7. Existence of People
Having all sorts of people around you and accepting that people of different kinds and beliefs will always be present helps build a mental barrier. This barrier allows your mind to choose what to accept and what to reject.
The reactions and perceptions of people are based on their experiences and situations. They may speak, but if you accept their words, that is your choice.
I am still learning not to surrender to the feelings others try to impose on me. I am not a master of this skill yet, but I am glad I have realized that I should be the owner of my thoughts and feelings. I should not give this control to anyone else.
8. Boundaries
Setting boundaries is very important. We suffer when we allow our personal space to be entirely shared with others. When there is space, the noise is less.
9. Overly Sweet Behavior is Harmful
This is something I am still in the process of correcting. I noticed that people often say things to me that they find hard to say to others. Then I realized the difference between their behavior and mine.
I was quite soft and sweet with people, which made them walk all over me. This was where I went wrong. Changing one's nature is not easy, but I am trying to be more distant and firmer.
10. They Say, You Listen
I have simplified the comments with a simple formula: They say, you listen. People talk because it is part of their physiological nature. I just listen and understand only what I believe deserves to be understood.
I choose to utilize my energies for my personal benefit. Any belittling remarks or distracting thoughts, if repeatedly given, are often aimed at creating a delusion that detracts from achieving greater goals.
I do not claim to have mastered the art of ignoring all negativity around me, but I have improved significantly. By constantly practicing how to break the cage of negative thoughts every time they arise, I am steadily transforming into a better version of myself.
About the Creator
Dr. Syeda Khair-ul-Bariyah
Science and Fiction writer
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