Boundaries

Day and night, I sit in front of my 32” LCD screen, looking at the same thing everyday: code. No, I don’t mean “code” for spooky ghost intruder; I mean, lines and lines of code.

The pandemic ushered in a modern phenomenon dubbed “hustle culture” — or what I like to call, the Post-covid Renaissance. And from the effect of mass reclusion, survival of the fittest gopher peeped its tiny head out, and to the rodent’s surprise, the humans are going through it for the first time in quite a while. “Where’d they go?,” asks Mrs. Gopher. Mr. Gopher shrugs and replies, “If I didn’t know them any better, I’d say they’ve gone to reinvent themselves.”

So who says that today’s potential global renaissance will produce new thinking and great change comparable to the major transformations of pastime eras, like the Age of Revolutions of 1775-1848 or maybe even like... the actual Renaissance of DaVinci and Michaelangelo? To help guide this intriguing thought, would you think it is the concern for global warming, human rights violations, and wealth inequality that drives this transformational force, or is it producing content for the sake of becoming social media royalty that brings such inspiration. Anyway, you can’t help but to join in, honestly. Pandora’s box has been opened, and this digital and social gopher race is happening right now.

Now on to the serious stuff. The new era comes with a lot of questions in mind and also with time to ponder on these uncertainties. Or we just have Quora do it for us. Scrolling through all my unread email, I see multiple email previews from Quora, consisting of questions such as “Does my narcissist even love me?” and “Do narcs understand anything outside of themselves?” You’re probably thinking that I got hacked right? You say you probably just need to reset your password, right?

Thanks for the vote of confidence, but no, it’s my previous search data being used to personalize my experience, in action. If you’re like me and had to go through lockdown with a partner, only we know how tough we had it. Our inner strength was tested to the absolute limits of emotional tolerance, giving that finishing, icing-on-the-cake experience that being in lockdown needed.

It’s been a year from ending my 5-year relationship. It was the right thing to do, for my health and my then partner’s health, both. Although I was blessed with a copious amount of lessons learned, I also lost my best friend — my go-to person. So I did what anyone else would do: drown myself into a new hustle.

Along with becoming a house plant shopaholic, I found solace in staring at lines of code. This eye-numbing hustle of reinventing myself through learning software development gave me complete respite from my racing thoughts — well, almost. There were a few times where I felt the temptation creep up into my lonely mind. Calling him would most definitely turn me into a pillar of salt. To combat this intrusive way of thinking, it was time to get back on Grindr.

For many, a quick hookup is all that’s needed. It doesn’t really work that way for hopeless romantics like me. After meeting a few guys and even seeing one that my dumbass caught feelings for but turned out to be married, nothing’s changed. I felt even further from who I was a month ago. Why do I always do this to myself?

The following day I begrudgingly plop down on my beloved office chair, open up JupyterLab, and melt into my safe space once again. For some reason, the new Apple macOS update now has my computer asking to confirm my password every hour. Such an annoying security update. But as I said, I am and will always be a hopeless romantic. Let’s idealize this system update to fit into this writer’s prompt, and create some life chicken soup, inspo-of-the-day content for you kindred souls.

The lesson put forth here today by yours truly is: always confirm your password. If a computer is a little buggy from new updates, you also can forget to keep up the boundaries you built to protect yourself. Forgive yourself and reaffirm what “hustle culture” means to you. Learn from your past, as the experience gained from times of hardship is the most useful tool for protecting oneself. Hustle to be the best you, and don’t hustle for other people’s acceptance.

Hustle to establish the boundaries that you once thought you didn’t deserve to make. You are valid. You are worth it. And you are not alone — everyone’s a mess. Your future is in your own hands.

In the end, it’s all just password management!