Bitter with the Sweet

There’s a song from Carole King’s 1972 album, Rhymes and Reasons. It’s called ‘Bitter with the Sweet’. It inspired my thoughts today. I think everyone on some level understands that this is how life works. You put up with the bitter because eventually you’ll be rewarded with the sweet.

Then there’s the eternal question, “When will the sweet come?” or “How long with the sweet last?” Some find that they go through a whole lot of bitterness to find the sweet, and sometimes it feels as though they will never reach the other side. As someone who comes from a very privileged status ( a straight, cisgendered, white female) in today’s current society I think perspective is very important. I have different struggles and different opportunities. Right now there’s a whole lot of bitterness in my life.

A. My fiance is on the road working hard so we can have the money to start a life together.

B. Friends are starting to find jobs with decent pay and health benefits.

C.I have a lot of early mornings with seemingly small payoffs.

D.I have really long days with odds hours and finding time to call and talk to friends/family is difficult.

E. My dog’s in Ohio, because we currently can’t have him with us in NYC.

1. Someone else gets to cuddle him and talk him on walks.

When will the sweet come? How long/hard do I have to work?

This is where I believe perspective and gratitude comes into play. It’s not always fun and games but there is a way to bring the sweet into your life near instantaneously. It’s a concept called gratitude. This is a beautiful practice and a beautiful perspective shifter. It’s a very old concept and very simply implemented. You merely have to be open and willing to accept your reality. For example, Ralph Waldo Emerson encourages us to:

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”

Here are some additional gratitude quotes that I check in with when I'm struggling.

Gratitude turns what we have into enough... It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity...it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. -Melody Beattie

“What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.” - Brené Brown

“Gratitude and attitude are not challenges; they are choices."-Robert Braathe

Gratitude is pretty awesome. Here’s how I changed my perspective on all the ‘bitter’ in my life today.

A. My fiance is on the road.

1. I have a fiance who I’m so freaking lucky to have. Period. He is the best.

B. Friends are getting real people jobs.

1. My friends are thriving!

C. Early mornings with small payoffs.

1. I have been in 3 soon 4 cabarets in NYC, a children’s show, and am currently working with RAD, a non-profit recording studio to record a song I love for my reel/website.

D. Long days with little time to call loved ones.

1. When I do get in touch it's the best! There’s so much to catch up on.

2.. I have loved ones to miss. (This one is really important and helpful)

E. My dog’s in Ohio, I'm in NYC.

1. It won’t always be like this

2.He’s so loveable and is bringing joy to his Grandpa and little sister.

That is how I flip my reality and add the sweet in right away. I can’t tell you how to flip yours. You get to create gratitude that is unique to you. There’s also no wrong way to be grateful. It’s prevalent throughout all of society and doesn’t discriminate. Gratitude doesn’t choose you, you choose gratitude.

Thanks for making it this far. Any thoughts or disagreements welcome.

Stay healthy, Stay Safe.

** This article was originally written in March 2019. However, I felt the sentiment applies to today's health crisis.**