Being Present for Real

My husband’s mother has been in and out of the hospital this past few months. This has been a journey of health challenges she has been facing for over a decade now. The last time she was ill my husband was away and so I had to go to visit with her three hours away and had to spend the night with her in the hospital. It made him happy and gave him peace, to know someone was there with her. Sometimes we take these things for granted. And in a society where we have been taught to expect opportunities and services as an entitlement, its crazy that in a few short months much of this has been stripped away. Nobody could have ever imagined that opportunities like spending time with our loved ones or supporting them and being able to connect with them physically to encourage them could be taken away. But in this era of COVID-19 that is exactly what has happened and much has changed, and many things often taken for granted has been taken away. And it has left the most vulnerable populations of the elderly, sick and recovering family members, friends and loved ones alone.

So, this visit with her was vastly different yet consciously engaging. I had to be present in the reality of visiting her through the window. So, I handed the gifts we brought to the nurse heroes and had a little discussion about how she was doing. It meant so much now to be able to thank them for their service to our own precious soul. But when they lifted the blinds and we could only see her through the glass window while we spoke to her on speaker via the telephone it was real. It was startlingly real. My consciousness was hit head on as to how the world had now changed. Across any society globally over the history of mankind, it has been within our nature as humans to take care of our wounded and comfort our helpless. This has been stripped from the hands of humanity and so we are forced to now be intentional in building a bridge to respond to what is being lost.

I stood there through the window and I could not fake conversation or smile and blank out mentally. I had to be present and keep the momentum of the love energy flowing. We talked and joy bounced back and forth through that windowpane like a pin ball machine. Her smile from ear to ear was as much for us as it was for her. My daughter danced for her and my son blew kisses to her. It was a heart-warming mind waking visit. And as we said our goodbyes we pressed against the window and gave her a window hug. Remember I said we have to now be intentional in responding to these new norms. The things we took for granted we cannot anymore, and things we lost in the thrust to embrace technology must be managed better now. Now we love and feel and connect in the moment and we are thankful for social media, video calling, and speaker calls that made our window visit more positive. But we had to work at really talking, flowing, and connecting emotionally and mentally as we should. We are more than physiological beings and now the energies of our unexplained selves must be harnessed and intentionally used in our interactions with others. This experience had to be so genuine and heartfelt that it could be engraved in our minds which will allow it to live on beyond the moment.

It is scary to think we might have to normalize this way of life and you just don’t can’t seem to get over feeling like your trapped in a sci-fi or end time movie through this whole pandemic saga. But one thing stands true we can no longer fake engagement with others because now behind masks and behind windowpanes lies scared, lonely, and isolated souls that need to feel our love beyond a touch or a six-foot distance. They must know we are their and be able to pull on our energy so they can be strengthened to live. Hope keeps us alive and that is what being emotionally a present gives now in a time when many are hopeless. This is a sobering but real reality and the way it has come to be, but hopefully not the way it will stay nevertheless it certainly is the way it is today.