Be Happier with What Is by Letting Go of How Things Should Be

Have you ever been stuck and felt like you were circling around the same space over and over again? It’s just like a Groundhog day.

Every day, you have new goals about how it will be different to be left with the same empty feelings at the end of the day.

You feel sad about dreams of what it might be and maybe even what it should be.

For forty-five years I found myself unexpectedly in this place, clinging to it as if my feet were almost tied to the ground. All standard transit routes did not work.

I could not escape it. I couldn’t push it. I couldn't get around. I couldn’t pretend it didn’t.

It was just there. It couldn't move.

I felt depressed and burned, and no books, lessons, or friend advice seemed to have an effect.

I just kept going back to the same place of inertia, always leaving me sitting on the edge of my power.

I had terrible doubts that as a coach I should know better and somehow be free from the issues of hatred, suspicion, self-criticism, imperfections, and failures that were going on behind my mind. I wish I shouldn't have been so cold because I really should have gotten this by now.

They said the only way out was over and that was definitely true for me.

I got to the point where I had to be in the middle of my experience and I was at risk of being too skiing at the edges.

It happened by chance while I was running in the morning running with the dog.

It was a new spring spring, the kind where the darkness of the sky just took your breath away. My feet were wet in the wet grass and I was impressed by how warm the sunlight was on my face.

Feeling the urge to stop running, I sat down on a bench and closed my eyes. I followed my breath and told myself I was breathing in the sunlight above my head, down through my body, and then down to the soles of my feet. After that, I returned it.

I kept doing this, and suddenly a picture appeared. It was a life plan I had written many years back when I was stuck in my last collaborative work and trying to find a way out.

It was on the same page and my age was rising to sixty years (anything more was considered a bonus), next to my husband and my children. There were no specific signs except when the kids were going to do their tests and some dreams I had to run my own business.

What impressed me as I saw this picture in front of me was how complete it was.

There was a clear thought that I could suddenly see clearly in front of my eyes. As I go through all these years, a perfect mother in the world, always patient, articulate, consistent, kind and loving.

I was an example of keeping a job, training, writing, running a successful business, and making a difference in the world. I turn and balance kindly and easily. I was a beautiful woman who looked good, took care of everything in the house without complaining, and I could still be a loving goddess.

I was not angry or argumentative. I walked and walked in life, I felt happy for myself, and I found peace and happiness.

I was perfect in every way and always made things right.

Sitting in the air I realized I was feeling emotionally affected. The feeling was sad, and at one point I allowed myself to be with her. I just sat with my dog ​​sitting next to me on this bench, in the middle of nature, with a combination of sunlight and tears on my face.

About five minutes later I felt a change. I was made very clear that what kept me going was the firm grip I had in the way I believed everything should be.

The whole picture I was carrying in my life made me argue for who I really am. The constant pressure to keep improving myself and become anything other than what I really am.

You see, my real life is dirty and not very perfect.

As a mother I'm spontaneous, which is often because I don't get along and I get bored and impatient when we don't look at ordinary things, like schoolwork or collecting. I get frustrated when everyone seems to be doing the right thing and my needs aren't coming up.

I often feel trapped in a system where I believe my girls need to be kids, find their love, and follow their bright spaces; but they are in a system and a school culture that believes and affirms that you need to be above all else and learn information that you feel is not important to them.

I want to praise but hold back and criticize when everything is piled up and I feel depressed.

I know that I am opening and closing my heart in my relationship, and I am just beginning to wrap around this idea of ​​unconditional love.

Our house is clean and tidy and tidy.

One of the most common controversies has to do with where the car keys are and why there is no fuel in the car and how much time we have to fill in the way of dropping children off at school!

These two images - complete and realistic - are where my struggle came from.

Every time I collided with the perfect image that I thought I should be contradicting myself, I was embarrassed and self-destructive and created my own inertia.

It was easy to reach for anything other than who I was because it reinforced an old story that I knew was not enough like mine.

It is this understanding that helps me to release and let go.

What remains of it is the truth of my own imperfections.

I now realize how desperate my desire for perfection has turned out to be, that is, to feel happy and at peace with myself.