Apocalyptic Regrets We Should All Give Up

Mistakes are we wonderfully f**ked up things.

We make them all the time and kick ourselves for doing so. Yet, for most of us, myself included, we only truly learn a lesson from making the mistake in the first place.

And from mistakes comes regret. We tend to harbour regrets because we've made a mistake and can't seem to move on from it. We sit with it and let it dominate our life.

I have regrets. 

I'm a normal, human. 

But these regrets, as I've come to learn, aren't serving me. They aren't making me better; they are keeping me in the past.

I know I'm not alone in thinking these regrets are futile. Personally, these are the ones I'm giving up. And, as a friend to you, I believe you should do the same.

Not saving any money when we actually could

Yeah, everyone should save money. It's the smart thing to do. It's logical too; you need more to buy things.

But that's why I didn't save in the past. I spent my money on things I needed and things I wanted. 

Clothes. Experiences. Gifts. Housing. All the essentials for living a happy life. 

I'm not going to regret enjoying my life with the money I worked my ass off to get.

And besides, when we die, it doesn't matter how much money we have in the bank. Well, not to us anyway. 

We will be too dead to care.

Not having an exact picture of where money is coming and going

I'm married to an ex-finance man. 

An ex-financial planner to be precise. 

He would probably hate me for saying this. But I don't see the point in regretting not knowing where you spent your money or how much you spent. Or how much your bills are.

It's regret not worth having because the solution is simple. Get educated. Like sticking your hand in the fire, and now knowing it's hot, you now know better not to let your finances escape you.

Don't beat yourself with regret. Just do better.

Not spending what I don't have

I used to have a rule. I don't spend what I don't have. If I didn't have the money in my account, I wouldn't buy it.

This saved me from spending regret, for the most part. But that's all well and good when you can feed, clothe and house yourself with the money you have. 

Sometimes you need to use loans, credit cards and other people to get survive.

There's zero point in regretting using the money you "don't have" if you can't live.

Not keeping that promise to a friend

Oh, don't get me started on the number of regrets I've had about my friends. I'm sure if I asked them, they could hand me a list of all the times I let them down. Broke a promise. Wasn't there when I should etc.

Sure, I could hold onto those regrets. But it's a little one-sided.

If I wanted to start keeping score with my friends, I can find just as many times they broke promises to me. In short, everyone gets it wrong sometimes.

I'm not keeping this regret as long as I work on my relationships and show them that I care. I can't do any more than that. 

And, realistically, the world can't expect more than that either.

Not hanging with a dying grandparent

When my grandpa passed away in 2003, I was fifteen. I didn't appreciate how sick he was. I don't think anyone used the word cancer around me. And if they did, it was with this reassurance everything would be ok.

Until it wasn't. And he died. The last time I saw him I shouldn't have left his side.

I'm not going to keep kicking myself about this. I didn't know he was going to die. I didn't know that was the last time I would see him. I couldn't predict the future.

Instead, I'm grateful I got to see him that day. I'm treasuring what I did do, rather than being stuck on what I didn't. And I made my decision based on what I knew at the time.

Sleeping with that person

I don't have any regrets about the people I've slept with. Seriously. Not one. Every person I've slept with has contributed to the person I am in the bedroom today. 

They've helped shape what I like. 

And what I don't like. 

They've helped me appreciate true passion and meaningless flings. I owe them all a thank you, even the bad ones.

If I'm being real, sometimes we should regret not sleeping with someone. Life is to be enjoyed. When we have the opportunity to explore what life gives us, why hold ourselves back?

Not wearing a costume every Halloween

Most people will have a time in their life when they rocked up to a party only to discover they didn't know it was fancy dress. Or they didn't know it was a formal occasion. Or, as some people regret, not wearing black to a funeral.

These moments aren't worth regretting because they are insignificant in the grand scheme of life.

They are true perspective moments. Does it really matter that you messed up the dress code? Really? 

And if it does, then you have yourself a teachable moment. 

You learn, you don't do it again.

Not listening when someone gave advice

We're a bunch of know-it-alls. I've become worse at that in my ageing years. Every year I get older, I assume I'm wiser. Very wrong assumption.

And as we are know-it-alls, we love to give advice. You tell one person your problem and they will give you five unsolicited solutions.

Sure, one of those solutions might be right. They could all be right. But they could all be wrong too. 

Regretting not taking their advice is the joy of hindsight. 

It's wonderful when you can reflect now you have the right answer. Until then, you're gambling.

You can't regret not listening to advice when you're trusting your instincts, too. And as a grown-up, you're aware of action and consequences. You've taken action because you're satisfied with the consequences.

Again, gambling.

Not going to the doctor sooner

I know someone who got very sick and didn't seek medical help when they should have. I won't go into detail, but this person ended up in hospital for close to two months.

They knew they were sick at the time. But they didn't act.

I'm sure you could say this person I know should regret their actions. It's easy to say that in hindsight. But think of how many people attend the emergency room with a bloody nose only to discover it was just a bloody nose?

They wasted their time, the resources of the hospital, and the emotions of their loved ones.

There's a balance here. We're never going to get it right. And if we aren't going to get it right, forget regret.

Not spending the extra hour on my business

I spent the first year of running my business full of regret every night my head hit the pillow. 

I didn't do enough today. 

I didn't get more done. 

I didn't achieve everything today.

It takes a long time to learn the perils of thinking "you can always do more".

It's one of those regrets on the cycle. It never ends. You're always going to regret you're not a robot who can work without taking breaks, sleep or attending to other obligations.

This is one of those useless regrets that encourage negative self-talk. And that doesn't help anyone.

Not going to the gym at 7am every single morning

When I get hurt, as I did to my neck recently, I started regretting not being more active. 

Sure, I exercise every day. But there are days when I put something else ahead of exercise; work, appointments, enjoyment of life.

It's when I'm suffering the most, I start kicking myself. You should have been in that gym, injury-proofing your body. You should have done more.

Then I saw the physiotherapist. He said what I did could have been from sleeping funny. It happens sometimes. There wasn't a way to prevent it.

What's the use of regret when you use it to admonish what you can't control? 

Some regrets are nothing short of illogical.

Heartless regret? Perhaps not.

Some might say I'm going to regret writing this article. I've written this piece where I sound like a heartless witch who doesn't harbour any feelings about the mistakes I've made in my life. 

And I put it on the internet too. What a dumb thing to do!

Well, that's a regret not worth having.

It's probably the worst regret you or 1 could have. Regretting our choices because someone else doesn't believe in them. Or agree with them. Or support them.

Where would we be if we lived our entire life appeasing others before ourselves?

I predict we will come to the end of our lives and end up regretting doing just that.

And is that how you want to live your life? I know I don't.