A note to self.

As I watched my hands being fastened to my chest and the doors of the Ambulance shut - I realized how far I had drifted from who I used to me. I knew my happiness or lack thereof, had led me to a point of such pain, fear and loneliness that taking my own life was the final option.

I’m an immigrant, so far from home, so far from love, living in Los Angeles. This sprawling metropolis, an undoubtedly big bad city that has taken far too many victims who didn’t manage to find help before it was too late.

I began to wonder, to fear - how many more countless lives, souls, musicians and teachers will be lost to the pain and loneliness that Depression and Anxiety bring day to day. I asked myself - how can I make a change? How do I help?

I realized I needed help. We all need help.

I wanted to use my pain, my creativity, my absolute love for love to make life better, day by day to make people happy. I wanted to ignite a moment of hope, of possibility not only in myself, but in those around me - reignite life for those who are yearning to leave, to let go. Heart beating humans with thoughts no human should have: people without parents, defined by emptiness. People without hope. People without art.

I need to save my life and in doing so save others.

Sadly we need to be told, everyday, just how special life is - how every breath is a gift, how our weird idiosyncrasies really make us timeless, brilliant and alive. We matter, and too many people have forgotten.

I needed to be told.

So I began writing, tiny little notes. Little reminders that “I am enough”, that “I am unique” or simply a reminder to “Breath’.

I realized that this city, this world, and the beautiful humans who populate it sadly need to be reminded of just how valuable they are, how life is so full of color and light. There is indeed pain, but it is not perpetual. Maybe my notes could save a life.

It was then when I cut a clean white piece of paper into a 5x7 rectangle, lovingly put my little colorful note onto the paper and proceeded to begin posting these notes around my city.

Notes of love. Notes to others. Notes to Self. Art.

This was the beginning of @NotesToSelfArt

Each time I put up an artwork, I deeply try to absorb what the note says. I try to learn from it, grow from it, then… I pass it on. The note goes up on a wall, a lamppost or inside a parking structure - hopefully reaffirming to the next set of eyes, their worth.

My little creative passion project has slowly morphed into an installation art project celebrating self-affirmation and positive thinking: a reaction to the many months I’ve personally struggled with depression and suicidal ideations.

As I learnt more and more about mental health, I began to learn how prevalent it is in our society. Understanding just how many people are hurting inside made me realize how relevant and necessary this art is.

Every “Note” or artwork I’ve personally written to remind ME that life is valuable, and happiness is achievable

Tomorrow matters. You matter. You, tomorrow and these little notes give me happiness.