A Letter to My Younger Self

Dear younger me,

Let's have a chat. I want to tell you about a few things that you're going to go through from about the time you turn 4, up until you're a teenager. You're not always going to have the easy route, actually you never will have that easy route, but you got this.

Your life is going to consist of changes, and confusion. You are going to have so many unanswered questions. At 4, you will have something huge happen to you that will change your life forever. You aren't going to understand, you're only a little girl who thinks everything in life is going as planned, but realistically everything is wrong. You now will be sleeping in your new bed, with a pink princess canopy above it, to make you feel like a princess that you are. But here's a catch—this new bed is not at your mommy and daddy's house. This new bed is at your grandma and grandpa's house. You are going to wonder where they are. Maybe they are on a vacation. Or what if they're just really busy at work? Those thoughts are wrong. Your mommy and daddy are too busy doing things they love more, than to focus on you. It's okay though, your grandma and your grandpa are there to protect you. It's all okay now.

8 years go by, and now you are almost a teenager—yes! But, your teenage years aren't going to be any better, either. I'm really sorry to tell you that. You moved back with your mom and you feel like everything is going to be so much better now! You have your mom, who is now your best friend during the most important years of your life, what could go wrong? A lot of things, actually. Just keep your head up, put your right foot forward and don't get involved with the wrong people. Make sure you don't get involved in that small town drama, and study in school! If you do this, you're going to be perfectly okay.

You think I'm wrong, but I promise that doing these things is going to be the best decision of your life.

After going through everything that you have gone through, you're going to come face to face with anxiety. It's going to be okay, you're going to get through it. It's something that you're going to be able to own as the years go on. Remember to breathe through it, in through your nose and out your mouth. It's going to seem like the end of the world, but I promise it's not. Anxiety is something you're going to have for awhile, so you need to face it and it will all be over with soon.

You're going to have a few relationships, but those are pointless relationships if I must admit. Don't waste your time on them. They are little boys, they know nothing. There is going to be that one specific relationship, you'll know which one I'm talking about when he comes around, make sure you do everything in your path to get out of the way of that one. That one becomes your worst, most toxic relationship you have ever encountered. Make sure you avoid that disgrace of a "man" by all costs.

Now, here is where things start looking up. You're going to find a real man. A little around the age of 16, you're going to meet this incredible man. He's going to pick you up when things are bad, and get you out of that relationship with that other "man." He's not going to steal you from him, but he's going to save you. He's going to protect you at all costs. He isn't going to let anyone hurt you anymore, he's got you now. Let him in, and trust him right away. I know you're going to have trust issues, but it's okay with him—I promise. He's going to be the one. Believe me.

Or don't believe me. Maybe you'll believe me when you guys get married, as soon as you turn 18.

I won't tell you how to live your life, or what paths to follow. But if you listen to me, I promise that it's going to be great in the end. You're going to love your life, you're going to find your purpose. Everything you are going to go through, is going to shape you and make you into the woman that you are today.

Trust me when I say it gets really, really good.

You survived the hardest parts of your life.

You did it.