A Letter to Anyone Going Through Heartache This Valentines From Someone Currently Going Through a Breakup

Dear Internet Stranger,

I know it's tough going through what you're going through right now, but know that you're not alone. Whether it's a breakup you're going through that was mutual or not, or an unrequited love, know that you won't feel like this forever.

I'm currently going through a breakup, myself. Me and my past significant other met before the pandemic and were in a long distance relationship that grew on unconditional love and acceptance that I've never felt before in my past relationships.

However, our relationship didn't last forever. We were just two different people that started to drift off into separate paths in our lives. Despite that happening, I don't regret the relationship at all, despite missing him even to this day. There were things he saw in me that I didn't see within myself, and our relationship helped me grow into the person I am today.

Now, I know that Valentine's day is coming up, and the thought of seeing a couple or your friends and families with their significant other is churning your stomach (the thought of seeing lovey-dovey couples at my part-time Boba job is enough to make me want to hurl), but I think I have a few thoughts and ideas we can do to go through this difficult time together. Ready to hear about them?

First off, I just want to tell you in our short amount of knowing each other in this article so far that - you're a bad bitch! Yes you heard me, you're a bad bitch.

In no way do I mean it in a demeaning way, I mean it in the Gen Z complimentary way. So yes, you are a bad bitch.

Say it with me out loud, even if you're in public right now, I don't care - repeat after me: "I AM A BAD BITCH!"

Now how do you feel? Confident? Slightly embarrassed?

However you feel at the moment, I'm sure you're somewhat proud of yourself for saying that outloud despite the minor embarrassment. If you said our mantra out in public, I commend you. That just shows that you really are a bad bitch and nobody can stop you! Not even this significant heartache you had a few moments ago. Of course I'm not saying the pain is completely gone, but I hope it helped raise you out of that mental funk even for a little bit.

Next off in our Valentine's day survival guide, self-care! The most important and vital habit to do not just this Valentine's day, but in your everyday life as well.

Self-care Tip #1: Put yourself first

This is going to be a bit morbid, but it's true. From the beginning of our lives until the very last moments when we exit into the afterlife or reincarnate into the next one, the only companion that will be with us along our journey through life is ourselves.

I firmly believe that when you wear the things you love, you look and feel good. Most importantly, the confidence within yourself grows. Don't be afraid to dress in your favorite dress or best thrifted or handmade outfit! Wear what you love with pride! Even for the most seemingly mundane errands like taking a walk in the park or going to the grocery store for some vegetables that you hopefully won't abandon in your fridge.

Sure you might think it's embarrassing thinking about the stares you might get from others, but who cares! You are the main character of your story, act like it. If people have a problem with something as small as what you're wearing, well, just know it's not you, it's them. Are they being the main character of their lives? Not if they're solely focusing on you. So don't worry about them. Besides, there are people out there throwing tantrums over having the wrong Starbucks drink. Now that's embarrassing.

Self-care Tip #2: Surround yourself with the people you love

It's true what they say: Misery loves company.

Meaning that “people who are unhappy may get some consolation from knowing that others are unhappy too," according to Dictionary.com

I've experienced this on both sides in the past, and neither are fun or healthy whatsoever.

You always want to surround yourself with people that genuinely love and support you. Not those that constantly make you feel bad about yourself in your hardships and accomplishments.

However, if you can't completely get away from someone like a family member or coworker, make sure to be not only civil towards them, but distance yourself as much as you can with them as well.

Self-care Tip #3: Do the things you love

We don't have much time on this planet to just slave away at jobs we hate, so why waste time only focusing on that? If you have to work, of course do it as a means of survival and getting by, but don't solely depend on it and make it the main part of your life. Living the majority of your life slaving away at a corporate job that pays you less than the amount your boss is making off of you is not the life to live, but unfortunately that is ‘the norm’ in the society we live in.

But it doesn't have to be like this forever, do the things you love on the side, whether that is drawing, creating videos, writing, learning about new things - make the time to do them! Even if it's just 5 minutes a day. The more you do the things you love, the more your life will be fulfilled, similar to the carefree joy you had as a kid. Who knows? Maybe you can eventually turn what you love to do into something that can be your career in the long-run. Your job won't feel like a job then.

Self-care Tip #4: Exercise

Now, I know what you're probably thinking: Oh, fuck no. But hear me out, hear me out - I didn't like exercising at first either. Those Chloe Ting workouts were like hell for me during the beginning of quarantine, but it sure as hell made me feel so much better afterwards with the natural endorphins I was releasing. I was also really proud of myself for taking the time to go through them and felt confident.

In no way am I telling you to workout as intensely with the Chloe Ting (if you want to though by all means), but any type of exercise helps. Even taking a small walk around your neighborhood or local park. The more you exercise consistently whether it is walking, sports, or dancing, the more you'll love to do it, I can promise you that. You'll feel confident on the inside and outside too.

Self-care Tip #5: Practice some mindfulness

The world is constantly fast-paced and busy. Everything from high-demanding jobs to technology at our fingertips like our smartphones and social media apps are constantly hounding us for our attention. It's hard to stop spending hours drowning in them. But remember, you must always put yourself first, especially in this busy day and age. That's where the importance of mindfulness comes in.

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is simply being in the present moment, like when you were a kid. Before you had access to smart devices or the internet, you were in the moment. Whether that was playing with toys, creating art, or making new friends by pretending to be dinosaurs.

Mindfulness can be achieved in many ways. The most well-known and effective ways to achieve mindfulness are going out for a walk in nature, yoga, meditation, and Journaling.

A dear high school history teacher of mine recommended me journaling when I was going through some tough times as a teenager. When I'm not able to speak to a therapist or am unsure about how I feel about something, I try my best to sort out my feelings by writing them down and expressing how I feel. Journaling helps release those emotions, and even helps you figure out and learn things about yourself when you try writing some journal prompts.

Here are some journal prompts ideas:

-How are you feeling right now and why?

-Is there something triggering that feeling from past experiences?

-What are some things you think you can do to help yourself from having these thoughts?

-What are some short-term goals?

-What is your long-term goal?

-How will you work towards these goals?

-What are some things you admire about yourself, and what are some things you think you can improve on?

As for my go-to mindfulness activity, I like to do yoga myself. I haven't been able to achieve a handstand quite yet, but I know I'll get there! You'll also be able to achieve the things you want to do too! Step by step, one day at a time.

If you've made it this far in this letter to you, I hope I eased your Valentine's day worries or made you feel better even for a little bit. Going through heartache is not an easy stride, but you won't feel like this forever.

What's done is done. You are strong and have the power within yourself to create your own story. Those that are meant to be in your lives will be there, and if some aren't, that's okay too. You still have yourself and me in this letter looking out for you. Please don't ever stop loving yourself. Take care.

With love,

Micah